Knottie Questions
We all had/have questions about the wedding day. Here are some frequently asked and answered questions.
If you want to find me on the knot, I usually am on the Wedding Party board.
I have a cousin who wants to be in the wedding. Can I make her my guestbook attendant/punch pourer/cake server/program attendant?
No, no, no and no! These are jobs, not honors. If you think about it, you're asking someone dear to you to not enjoy themselves. Even if you've been stuck with this job before, this is definitely NOT an honor. Please just put a sign up or assume that people can manage without them.
My wedding party MUST be even, but someone dropped out. Who do I kick out?
No one! These people are all your friends, not props. To be in the wedding party is an honor. If you kick someone out, it will likely end the friendship and make you a huge bridezilla. And NO, the WP does NOT need to be even. Hopefully, when you look at your wedding photos years from now, you'll be looking at the wonderful smiling faces and great day you had, and not about how there are 3 people on this side of you and your husband and 4 on the other.
I keep asking/telling my bridesmaids that they need to purchause their dresses by this date and they still haven't done it. Can I kick them out now?
No, the answer is always no. They are big girls. Give them one email with the information to purchase the dresses and then leave it be. You have other things to concern yourself. If they don't get the dresses in time, they have automatically resigned from being a bridesmaid. Yes it sucks that you don't know for certain until way later, but to kick someone out is to lose a friend.
Do we have to have a ring bearer and flower girl?
You don't have to if you don't want to. Some people hate children at weddings, and likewise, some children hate weddings. Then again, some kids LOVE the attention of walking down the aisle dressed up. It varies from kid to kid. If you have a child in mind that you'd like to ask, ask the parents. If you don't, then don't worry about it. No one will find it odd that you didn't have a flower girl.
I have a bridesmaid who is a size 2 and another bridesmaid that is a size 20. What dress will look good on everyone in the wedding party?
There is no magical dress that looks amazing on every body type. Stop looking for one that fits everyones' needs. It doesn't exist. Insead, pick out a designer, a color, a material, and let them pick out their own dress. They will definitely thank you for it and feel a lot more comfortable in a dress that they selected themselves.Or, go with seperates. It will give the girls better options. Seperates are a great comprimise (like Alfred Angelo) and come in all sizes.
I have lost a lot of touch with my MOH. Whenever I call her to talk about the wedding, she never seems to care about it. Can I kick her out?
When is the last time you called the MOH to ask how HER life was? Maybe she's wedding-ed out. This is a common case of the "no one cares about your wedding as much as you do" syndrome. People will be very happy for you on your big day, but bugging people for months about it can be tedious to listen to. Maybe invite your friends out for coffee or drinks and leave the wedding talk at home.
Our venue holds 150 people, but I've heard about a 20% decline rule. Can we invite 30 more people from our B list?
This is never a good idea. You should NEVER count on a 20% decline rate. Some brides have had 100% attendance. If a venue has a capacity limit, you cannot go over. Best not to invite more people than can fit inside the room. Also, inviting an A and a B list is tacky. If someone finds out that they were on this list, it can hurt the person's feelings. To avoid all of this, make ONE list, invite everyone, and see who can come and who can't. Do NOT go over capacity.
I am afraid that people won't find our registries. Is it ok if we put it in the invitation?
No. This is SO tacky. You're pretty much saying, "Hi, come to my wedding, and bring me a gift." There should be NO mention of gifts ANYWHERE on your invite. Instead, do it the old fashioned way: by word of mouth, or the new way: putting it on your wedding website.
I keep getting asked by acquaintances if they're invited to the wedding. They're not. What do I say?
What they're doing is awfully rude of them. Tell them that you're keeping it small, so only family and close friends are coming. If they pester long enough, tell them that you couldn't invite everyone. If they ask again, smack them.
