Ask the Editor: Child Not Invited to Wedding

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I just got the invitation to my friend’s wedding, and both my husband and I are on the invitation, but there is no mention of my daughter.  She is very well-behaved and will be hurt to not be invited.  Should I call my friend and see if she can attend?—Andrea, Riverside, CA

Absolutely not.  Sometimes there are gray areas in etiquette, but this is not such a situation.  More than likely, the couple has chosen to only have adults at their ceremony and reception.  And, of course, making one exception will only invite more questions and controversy.  This is most likely no reflection on how your friend views your daughter’s ability to be “well-behaved,” but rather a guest list rule that they have made.  Calling will only lead to an awkward conversation, and putting your friend on the spot.  Some parents whose children are not invited may feel resentful about it, and those parents should politely decline the invite.  Look at this as an opportunity to have a fun night out with your husband and enjoy the celebration!

about the author
Sarah Sarah has been editing the blog at mywedding for four years. She enjoys watching classic movies, spending money on eyeliner that she never wears, and convincing brides to write thank you notes.

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