Newlywed Perpsective: Married Decisions

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Married life is different than single life.

There might be a few of you out there wondering if it has truly taken me seven months (and three days. Not that I’m keeping track or anything.) to realize this. Don’t worry, it hasn’t!

There’s also the whole “I’m writing, not talking, and you probably can’t entirely decipher my tone of voice” thing going on right now, and just to clarify, that whole first sentence should probably be surrounded by smiley faces and exclamation points. Because the ways in which married life is different from single life are just. That. Wonderful.

The reason this is all coming up now is that Shayne and I have been met with some pretty potentially life-changing opportunities in the past several weeks: namely in the form of some new and exciting job offers! Which is exciting and challenging and definitely meant that the two of us have spent some quality time at our dinner table over the past week with our heads together, writing ever-growing lists of pros and cons. It also meant that we were motivated to really discuss some important things- like what is important to us as people, where we are in our lives, and where we want to be in the future (I picked a beach in Hawaii, by the way. Shayne didn’t seem to think I was serious.).

It struck me though, as we looked at our options and read through our lists, that this process and this particular decision would have looked a ton different if it had just been me making them. If I’d been a single gal, with two roads in front of me and no “wrong” choice to make, who knows what the outcome might have been?

But I’m not, and the fact that I’m married (that we’re married) struck a whole new chord when I realized that instead of this decision being about me and my wants and needs, it got to be about us. What decision best supports who we are? Which choice takes us where we want to be in one year? Five years? Ten years? What will provide us with factors X, Y and Z and what will give us A, B, C?

Being a we in this situation was incredible. This was probably the first real, big, life decision that Shayne and I have made together and it was almost exhilarating (although, like most of the large decisions I’ve come across, certainly difficult!) getting to take a step towards what we want, together, from our lives. No more “just me” for this girl, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

And, you know what? Together, I think we made the right choice.

about the author
Anne Anne is a serial optimist and hopeless romantic living in a big red barn in Colorado with her husband Shayne. She loves black and white films and making messes in the kitchen and considers life wholly incomplete without a regular dose of dark chocolate.

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