Ask the Editor: Bridesmaids and Family

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My fiancé and I both have two siblings.  My two brothers will be groomsmen.  One of his sisters will be a bridesmaid, and the other one I chose not to invite.  I don’t know her that well, and as this is my day, I would prefer to have my friends as bridesmaids, rather than her.  I think she will be offended, but I still think it is more important that my bridesmaids be the people I want, and not those I am somehow “forced” to include.   –Cassidy, Santa Monica, CA

Brides can get caught up in the “my day” mentality and completely forget that all of their “my day” decisions can have consequences that extend beyond the wedding.  Although you are the one getting married, it is not just “your” day.  This day is something that your groom and both of your friends and family are also looking forward to.  Granted, it is your choice to not include the groom’s sister.  And it is her choice to be nothing beyond cordial to you for the rest of your life because of it.  While a wedding only lasts a day, drama surrounding it can last a lifetime.  When thinking about decisions in your wedding that involve other people, the “my day” mentality can have a steep price tag.

With this in mind, make decisions that you are prepared to live with and explain.  The simplest route is to choose siblings first, and then friends.  There are no rules for the size of a wedding party, nor do they have to be the same number on both sides.  If a couple extra people up at the altar is the difference between peaceful harmony and trouble in paradise, what’s the downside?

about the author
Sarah Sarah has been editing the blog at mywedding for four years. She enjoys watching classic movies, spending money on eyeliner that she never wears, and convincing brides to write thank you notes.

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