Trenton and I met and had heard each other before. We have weathered some recent storms, and I had been hearing about this guy for a while. I'll never forget the time when we first met. The first words were as simple as our lifestyle is today.
When I first saw Trenton, I was outdoors, at a downtown restaurant in Denver. Trenton was tall and dark in every sense of the word. Don't forget handsome. I've been the type who had normally been broken up with, told that marriage is just some fantasy, but things began happening when we first got together that really put us to the test. Trent and I ate out, but he felt bad about not paying for the first meal. I said no big deal. He to this day worries like that, all because his heart is probably the biggest heart I've ever been hanging on to. The minute we sat down and watched Ellen at my then apartment studio for the first time, I knew something was up. Electricity was all around, and I just didn't get it. Later, he was at my house when I had the honor of serving HIM a meal so I could make up the part about the first date up to him. The meal consisted of a simple broccoli casserole and Sloppy Joes. The casserole, mind you, was covered with the best cheeses I've selected so far. Trenton isn't as cheesy as I am.
The big thing that got us was a dispute with some family members, all demanding his attention. Disabled couples like Trenton and I do not always have the privilege or the right to even talk about marriage. We wanted to wait, but upon the family dispute, I had to go out on a dinner date with some buddies I knew. Then, a scary text message arrived: "Get out of my house, my family said." I won't say which. But I was so scared and freaking out, and the next day, Trenton took a bus with little more than his African ornate jambe drum, his technological stuff like his Chromebook (on which I type this), and his Blu phone which since has been replaced because we wanted better ability to use a darn cell phone.
We have weathered since then harsh treatment from churchpeople I knew, ranging from "We won't help you sin against God by moving in with a man who is not your husband" to simply trying to "gently" lecture me on Bible verses. Churches would probably not grant Trenton and I membership as a couple due to the state we're in. As a Christian, and Trenton being Methodist Christian as well, we had talked about marriage for a while. But the most awful stuff kept up. We were frequently denied services and social opportunities so that we could have a real life. I applied for 7 jobs, but almost all of them never got back to me. None of them would hire. Something to note, both of us being blind, our house is loaded with technology. I'm typing this bit on a ChromeBook equipped with a screen reading software titled Chromevox. IF not for the love and patience Trenton has shown me, I wouldn't have had any clue how to use this thing. We now share the ChromeBook. It is made by Acer and 11 inches around. I thought of wedding dresses, but the turning points were when I was frequently trolled and bullied by members of the blindness community who were not educated about my situation. I got comments taht ran the gamut of "you must apply for more jobs and make an effort yadda yadda yadda" to "your stupid ass boyfriend needs to go back to the streets where he came from and rob the local deli." Well, so ended my quest for a job, and began my quest to tell others that we are going to stay together for life. The first things I thought when comments like that popped up were that these people were stupid. My boyfriend being African American, people will make up stereotypes about everything from the manner he dresses in to the way he talks to his hair to everything in the news regarding blacks. It makes me sick because we had so much happen, and yet in 2016, I'm being told a multiracial relationship does not go well. This coming from unsupportive parents who do not get it.
Marriages are not the simplest things to plan. A buddy of mine and I would frequently mull over the plans he would be putting together for his wedding. This guy and his wife were blind or disabled, and the bride's father was unsupportive and not able to handle his daughter even so much as growing to a woman. I've dreamt of being a man's bride, but not so that a man can throw me into submission. Trenton and I don't know when we're going to have chilren, but because of disability, children are almost certainly going to go under the microscope. For us, Trenton and I being blind, and for me I was diagnosed with some mild mental health crises or conditions, we are adamant that nobody who doesn't support us try to get between us. A dear friend, Jennifer, though she has been known to bug me at like three in the a.m. on my land or cell phones, was instrumental in telling Trenton who I was. Trenton also looked up Bible verses, and sure enough, I was right in speaking that God designed marriage. Four months after we moved in, we had a huge decision to make. Trenton and his family attended a church east of here, Shorter African Methodist Episcopal, or Shorter AME for short. The church was something I had discussed before, and because the whiter friends I had were unsupportive of us even living together, we were both abandoned. Upon seeing the situations we'd been in over four months, we would frequently argue. I'll admit I'd snap at him a bit, but the argument I would frequently tell him is that what God wants is nonnegotiable. It is something you don't charrypick or compromise. We are not going to back down, I told him, and if you can't absolutely promise me a true marriage for life, then it will be a dangerous call for me. Because I had had two recent breakup crises with guys I knew and who never thought it would hurt me this bad, I have since sworn never to date again. Well, sure enough, while sitting at my desk, Jennifer and Trenton and I were seriously trying to has this out. Jennifer said bluntly something like, "Beth wants someone who can promise her a marriage." Due to money and financial constraints from being disabled and unable to find jobs, I'm a bit scared to undertake a thousand guest affair, but it got me when Jen added, "Love is bigger than money." I picked the designs for the sites here because I adore Celtic music, Celtic dress, etc. I thought of many things, but I know things will get better.
So the real kicker was when Trenton was kneeling on the floor beside the chair, his arms went around my shoulder, and he said, with as much simplicity as we wrote to each other on Twitter seemingly a long time ago but it was four months ago, he said, "Light ... Will you marry me?" I held him tight, he then kissed me everywhere on my face, hands, wherever it was that might have been uncovered at the moment. We currently cannot afford rings, but then Jennifer offered to send us the rings. She picked out a zirconium, Trenton's birth stone, something even I thought of before this happened. Now, the thing is we need a decent set of real wedding bands. There's too much to say, but here we are, about to embark upon our far flung journey of love and laughter.
Trenton and I are both blind, and otherwise have coexisting disabilities, making it a challenge for society to accept us as a couple. We've strived to be a better two individuals as much as humanly possible given that my family didn't ever support me marrying an African American and someone who is blind or physically handicapped. My parents hold guardianship so that legally, marriage is closed to me in the state of Florida, and they don't plan to change it. However, Trenton and I have felt for a long time that marriage would enhance us in many ways. We'd be able to spend our lives together, growing harder and harder against the storm that could have ended things right then and there. However, we want to be in love for life, and this is where our wedding comes into play.