Last Friday was a day that could have been all kittens and rainbows and smiles to the point of being painfully happy (this is the kind of happy that occurs when so many wonderful things are occurring that my heart literally hurts from feeling so happy and grateful; being that you all are delightfully engaged, I am going to guess you feel this way sometimes too!)

Besides the obvious happy that Friday brings, I had a sweet morning with my precious students before having the pleasure of reuniting with Bridesmaid Ashley over Noodles and Company before some Charming Charlie browsing. Then MOH Bonnie and I met for the random errands our friendship seems to thrive on before enjoying another staple of our friendship, Mr. Goodcents’ turkey subs.

I was practically skipping out of the jewelry store as I just had my ring cleaned and felt all a fresh glow myself, when right there in the middle of treasure finding in Francesca’s Closet with the best friend, the rainbow collided with a thunder cloud in the form of a phone call from our vet.

In case you forgot or missed the part where there is nothing normal about me, let me refresh your memory – prior to living with the Shippmate, I lived with my parents literally up until the night before I said I do. And I know most people think I should be embarrassed by this, but most people don’t have parents like mine. I just don’t think I’ll ever look back and regret the extra moments or breakfast table conversations I had with them during the extra years I lived there. Anyway, this also meant that I had a cat still residing at my parents’ house.

And when the vet called, it was to inform me Romeo was very, very ill, and needed to be put to sleep. Bless my dad’s heart – he specifically tried to relay HIS phone number to the vet, so I wouldn’t be the one to take this hard phone call, but somehow it happened. Right in the middle of the jewelry section of Francesca’s, Bonnie watched with sympathy as I cried over the loss of our family pet.

Now, let me just say, I KNOW Romeo is a CAT. He can be replaced. This is not the end of the world. I am okay. But on that night, it didn’t all feel so okay. It took me a bit to want to call Ryan, because well, there’s just no other way to say this, but Ryan and Romeo never really were the best of friends. Romeo almost seemed to dislike my groom, and likewise, Ryan’s feelings toward him were neither warm nor fuzzy.

But with his disdain for that crazy black cat in the shadow of Ryan’s mind, he took my phone call with much empathy and kindness. For caring nothing about that cat, he mustered quite a sweet and soft tone to instantly make me feel better.

THIS IS WHEN MARRIAGE IS WONDERFUL.

When your cat dies and you know it’s embarrassing to care, it is beyond beautiful to find comfort in your husband. Ryan could have stopped there, but this is where I want to give a huge plug for PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING, because what happened next I attribute to some hard lessons learned in the many hours of pre-marital counseling we enjoyed (and sometimes hated) together.

There was a portion of the course where we talked about realizing what YOUR PARTNER NEEDS in specific situations and learning to react to him or her, NOT HOW YOU NEED TO BE REACTED TO, BUT HOW YOUR PARTNER NEEDS!

This is SO big. So important. I could blog from now until your wedding day about the importance of this. Because if Jewel, Ryan’s dog, died, Ryan would want me to care and be nice and not make fun of him for being sad. And then maybe leave him alone for awhile.

That is what RYAN needs, but is that what Ryan did for me?? Noooo. Because somewhere between proposing in front of the best snowman known to man and kissing me in front of a church full of our favorite people, we learned that we are DIFFERENT. VERY, VERY DIFFERENT. Just realizing that is AWESOME. Acting upon it is THE SECRET to marital bliss.

I came home (after stopping by my parents’ house for some shared tears and hugs) to grab my two little kittens and savor their sweet faces when all of the sudden I noticed they had wet paws?!

And then Ryan handed me a card that I opened to find this:

I looked at him just 9 months to the day after we said “I do,” and felt more in love with him than ever. That card, those painted paws in my favorite color, it was all what I needed.

Not what he would need or even want. But he knows me. As we shared this story with some friends, my friend’s husband teased Ryan for setting the bar too high for all guys everywhere. And if Ryan hadn’t already melted my heart to a million pieces, he said, “Well, actually it’s Erica’s dad that set the bar this high. I just try to keep up.”

Goodness gracious. The men in my life from my dad to my Shippmate to the crazy kittens that still have some blue on their paws… they’re simply the best.