We live in hawaii and are having our wedding here and paying for it ourselves. we want to keep it a small ceremony and have a little larger, more casual reception…is it ok to invite out of town guests to just the reception?? and also my family is already telling me if i dont invite certain people i will hurt their feelings (even if they dont come) where do you draw the line if you want to keep it small and within budget?? -Lauren Solomon

Dear Miss Solomon,

Having a private ceremony is very appropriate if you decide this is what you would like and a large casual reception can be a perfect way to include more of you loved ones. Who you invite is ultimately up to you, however, consider the following when forming your list:
-Do invite everyone you and your groom would like to share your day with.
-Do not invite anyone just because you feel they will be offended if they are not invited.
-Ultimately, you should only invite people you would truly consider spending time with any day of the week. If you wouldn’t consider having dinner or coffee with someone outside of your wedding celebration, then they should not be on your list.

Is it ok to invite people to your wedding ceremony but not the reception? for financial reasons.. -Kea TheBride Lane

Dear Miss Lane,

Unfortunately, you should not selectively invite guests to your ceremony and not your reception (although as I addressed in the previous question, an invitation to only your reception is considered appropriate). Consider a less extravagant reception so that you can be more inclusive of all your guests.

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Photo by AreGrayLine Photography. See the rest of Megan and Chris’ wedding.