Articles posted by Sarah

Bridesmaids

How To Handle Conflict Between Bridesmaids

Posted by Sarah of mywedding.com

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There’s nothing like choosing a bridesmaid’s dress to bring about a catfight between otherwise friendly gals. There are a number of other issues of monumental importance to contend with during the wedding planning process, all of which will eventually lead to the same outcome: Conflict between bridesmaids, which will require your inner bridezilla to emerge in order to restore order. Nobody wants that, and in fact it is the job of the bridesmaids to do what they can to help the wedding preparations go as smoothly as possible for the bride so that she is able to enjoy the journey up to and through her big day. In other words, bridesmaids, simmer down and get along…or at least pretend to! Here are some tips to help avoid and alleviate tension between attendants.

Plan Ahead When Choosing Your Bridesmaids
The bride should definitely take temperament and history into account when choosing her wedding party. If two of your leading ladies are alpha females who won’t back down, or have had trouble getting along in the past, chances are there might be some discord over duties if they’re both involved. If you’re faced with this dilemma, the safest rule of thumb is that blood is thicker than water; meaning that if your sister doesn’t get along with your college roommate, your sister would take priority for a spot in your lineup. However, there are often extenuating circumstances and friends who act more like family than your closest relatives do, so you should definitely take your individual situation into account and remember: IT’S YOUR DAY, so ultimately you must make the choice that you feel most comfortable with, and nobody should second guess your decision. If you feel badly about leaving somebody out of your wedding party, consider asking them to perform another important duty such as cutting the cake, attending to the guest book, or convincing dear old Dad to show off his funky chicken skills on the dance floor (not as traditional, but definitely as memorable as the cake cutting!).

Maid of Honor is allowed to Pull Rank
If there is a dispute between bridesmaids and it includes the Maid of Honor, she is allowed the final say in any wedding or party planning decisions. That’s right, if Betty Lou Bridesmaid argues that the Bachelorette Party stripper should have hair on his chest and sport a porno moustache, while Molly McMaid of Honor believes that any respectable stripper should be waxed and oiled, then the bride should definitely enjoy some hair-free, glistening adult entertainment during her soiree. End of discussion.The other side of this decree is that with the rank comes responsibility. The Maid of Honor is ultimately in charge of the planning and execution of all things bridesmaid, and is also the bride’s last line of defense against planning-induced insanity. Therefore, her duties need to be taken seriously and performed with care.

The Squeaky Wheel Gets Her Own Road
If you know in advance that one attendant does not play well with others, and you feel as if she must be included in your wedding party (generally this should only be the case if she’s close family or has saved your life in combat), it might save everyone a lot of headaches if she is given individual responsibilities that do not require her to work with the group. For example, she might be asked to be in charge of Bridal Shower or Bachelorette Party invitations after important details such as place, time, theme and quantity of stripper hair have already been decided upon.

Keep it in perspective
At the end of the day, it is important to remember that the primary job of all of the bridesmaids is above all to make the journey up to and through the big day smooth, memorable and enjoyable for the bride. Her attendants should demonstrate their love for her by treating one another with fairness and respect, and trying to resolve differences without getting her involved. The less she knows about conflict between bridesmaids the better, so if there’s going to be a catfight try to keep the hissing down. Rawr!

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Don’t Play YMCA!

Posted by Sarah of mywedding.com
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Photography by Cameron Ingalls – see more at www.cameroningalls.com

Take it from someone who attends weddings on a weekly basis, your DJ may try to play “YMCA” and other severely outdated moldy oldies! If you have had enough of songs like “Brick House,” “We Are Family,” and “Love Shack” than I suggest a detailed music consultation with the Disc Jockey you are considering to oversee your event. This will save you a lot of grief when you hit the dance floor.

When hiring a DJ, thoroughly interview him/her before making any decisions. Ask him/her what type of music he/she typically plays at a wedding reception. If the DJ says the music choices depend on your taste and preference, this is a great sign! Hiring someone that can understand your style will make your wedding unique and fit your personality. Think of it as creating the soundtrack of your wedding. Since music is going to create and propel the mood and emotion of your entire day, choosing great music should be as important as choosing colors and flowers. If you are looking to create a unique musical background for your day than you really want a musical professional on your side, not just a guy who can play songs from an iPod.

Many disc jockeys allow their clients to create a Do Play/Don’t Play list. This guarantees that the songs you want to avoid will be blacklisted and the music you want to hear will definitely be played. Be careful if the DJ you are interviewing does not mention this option or he appears reluctant when you suggested it. I have witnessed too many brides become frustrated on their wedding day because either their requested music wasn’t being played or because DJ Disco decided that a string of “the classics” would get all of the guests on the dance floor. Once you are in the middle of your party, the last thing you want to do is approach the DJ with complaints. After you prepare your lists, sit down with your DJ and allow him to give suggestions for what music would be classified under dinner or dance music.

Photography by Cameron Ingalls – see more at www.cameroningalls.com

Another important element to consider is whether or not your DJ is a true musician. If you are looking for someone who can mix beats for your reception than you want a DJ who doesn’t just push play off a song list but has some experience inventing and mixing music. Hiring a musician that can DJ can make all the difference in creating a wedding soundtrack that is completely unique to you and your spouse-to-be. Not only will they play the tunes that are guaranteed to get you on the dance floor, but they will play them in an order, mix, and blend that will keep you there until the very last song. A DJ that can flawlessly guide an event smoothly from beginning to end is truly talented and greatly desired for your wedding.

Finally, it is a good idea to decide beforehand what kind of personality you want your DJ to assume. Do you want a traditional wedding personality who cracks jokes and talks in between most songs? Or do you want someone who smoothly runs the events of the reception without asserting his personality over the music? When you interview your DJ ask questions to aid in determining what kind of MC he will be. Hiring a DJ can make or break the atmosphere and flow of your reception so it is important for you to know exactly what style of DJ you are looking for.

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I (Still) Do!

Posted by Sarah of mywedding.com
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Photography by Anna Kuperberg – see more at www.annakuperberg.com

Beautiful flowers, elegant music, heartfelt vows, the gathering of friends and family to witness the joining of two people. Are you thinking of a wedding? Although it does describe the elements often part of a wedding ceremony, we are in fact describing a “recommitment ceremony.” Commonly misunderstood as an anniversary celebration, a recommitment ceremony is much more meaningful and unique.

Everyone knows that people change. The person you marry will not be the same 20 years from now. After all, neither will you. What makes a recommitment ceremony so meaningful is that it is the public declaration that, “If I could do it all over again, I’d still choose you.” You’ve both grown up, grown into the people you were destined to be, enjoyed good times and endured bad times together. This event says that it was all worth it. The reasons you want to spend the rest of your life together have certainly changed since you said “I do” the first time because you both have changed as people. But the important thing is you still choose each other to spend the rest of your lives with.

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Considering a Civil Ceremony? What You Need to Know.

Posted by Sarah of mywedding.com
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Photography by Whitebox Weddings- see more at www.whiteboxweddings.com

Some folks consider it the “Fast and Easy” option, but the civil ceremony wants you to look past its short skirt and recognize that there is a lot more to it than its tarnished reputation. Couples are choosing to be married in civil, rather than religious, ceremonies for a wide variety of reasons these days. Many come from different cultural and religious backgrounds, and opt to “keep it civil” rather than wade through the host of complications that can occur when planning an interfaith wedding. Some couples don’t subscribe to a particular organized religion, or want to use its template for their wedding ceremony. Still others wish to incorporate many different spiritual, religious or secular details into their ceremony, and a civil ceremony allows them the freedom to be creative. If you’re considering a civil ceremony, for one of the aforementioned reasons or simply because you want to get hitched at City Hall without all the fuss so that you can skip straight to the honeymoon, here are a few tips to help you plan your big day.

Get an Official Officiant
In order to make it legal, you need to check with the marriage license bureau in the state where you are to be married, to see who can legally perform a wedding ceremony. Common officiants include a justice of the peace, judge, magistrate, county or court clerk, mayor, or notary public. However, there are many other options available depending on your location, so do your research. Who knows…maybe your favorite pizza delivery man can pronounce you husband and wife.

Plan Your Ceremony
When planning a civil ceremony, the order and substance of events is up to you. For the most part, people still maintain the traditional structure that includes procession, opening remarks, vows (you may want to write your own, in order to truly reflect what marriage means to you), ring exchange and other unity gestures, pronouncement, smoocheroo, closing remarks, and recession. You should feel free to incorporate as many different readings, musical interludes or other details as you like, or just cut to the chase and head for the bar.

Location, Location, Location
Just because you’re having a civil ceremony doesn’t mean that you have to get married in Vegas, or at City Hall. In fact, you have a lot more freedom here than you do with a religious ceremony, so choose a location that reflects the two of you, and will be a special setting for the occasion.

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