Articles posted by Lisa Nelson

Preliminary Conversations

Friends and Family – Are They as Much Help as You Think?

Posted by Lisa Nelson of mywedding.com

Photography by Anna Kuperberg
Photography by Anna Kuperberg – see more at www.kuperberg.com

Many couples are struggling with the fact that they want to cut down on costs, but still have the wedding of their dreams. How do you find the balance?

Through the years, I have seen instances of couples using friends or family members to take photographs, shoot video, DJ, arrange flowers, bake the cake/cupcakes, and plan/execute the wedding day. In all cases, the couple had unrealistic expectations of what the free, or reduced cost, help would get them. The work of family and friends do not substitute that of a professional, someone who makes weddings their business.

Weddings are large events that are very difficult to execute. This is why there are professionals to help you through the process. I said it before, and I will say it again – time is money, and stress is even more money. I have seen instances where the well meaning friend or family members have caused the Bride and Groom more undue stress and worry, not only prior to the event, but on the day itself.

I have seen instances where the Bride and Groom used a friend to DJ. The couple had to be concerned with getting the DJ equipment to and from the site, helping the DJ set up during the cocktail hour that they should have been enjoying, and then concerning themselves during the wedding because the DJ did not know anything about weddings. Then, there was the aunt who worked at a bakery and wanted to make the wedding cake. She got the cake into the site, but then it fell over and crashed into a million pieces when she was trying to set it up. In many other occasions, the couple had enlisted family members to help them with the day of events – with programs, guest book, place cards, etc. But, in many cases, those friends, assigned to those duties were no where to be found. Had we not been there to pick up the extra slack, I am not sure what the Bride and Groom would have done. Then, a traumatic incident was when the Bride hired a friend to take her pictures. In the beginning it was nice to think about saving a little money, but when she was crying over the outcome, a little money saved was definitely not worth it.

Should you have to worry about how your cake is going to make it to your reception? Should you really have to worry about how the flowers that your Mom’s friend put together will make it in time and whether you’ll end up liking them? No, you shouldn’t have to worry about that! There are wonderful vendors in all budget categories. You are sure to find a vendor that can service your wedding to your standards at your price range.

It’s really nice of well-meaning friends and family members to offer help and services on your special day. And since they are your friends and family, wouldn’t you want them to enjoy your wedding day too? So, that’s two strikes against the idea…why gamble?

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Home is Where The Heart Is

Posted by Lisa Nelson of mywedding.com
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Photography by Anna Kuperberg – see more at www.kuperberg.com

Each wedding venue presents its own unique and non-unique styles, advantages and disadvantages. Home weddings are different. Home weddings not only allow for the complete customization of the ceremony and /or reception, but they provide a venue rich in personal history and memories. We love planning home weddings because we can utilize the history and experiences to create an event that you will never forget.

We do a fair amount of home weddings. They are wonderful to plan and witness, but they present different challenges than a more established traditional site. Here are a few things to think about as you think about planning a home wedding:

  1. Site Fee – There is not a site fee, per se, but you may have to put some moneys towards beautification. For example, landscaping. Does this simply mean mowing the lawn, or would you have to do more? If you start far enough in advance, you can plant trees and shrubs that will be more established on your wedding day.On short notice, however, if you are getting married in the spring, plant tulips and daffodils in the fall. They are relatively inexpensive, gorgeous and abundant…even on the first flowering. Having a fall wedding? mums are the choice. They look great in numbers, you can buy them already flowering and you can get them anywhere. Marrying in the summer, and planning a year in advance? Hydrangeas are nice, and have nice deep green foliage. Whatever you choose, manicured trees and shrubs are great choices. Also, do not forget to treat for mosquitoes and ticks. If you have enough time, make sure you do a few lawn treatments so that you grass is in great condition.
  2. Weather – Unfortunately, as much as I would like to say that I do, I do not control the weather. Just like any outdoor affair, you have to be very comfortable with this variable. Make sure to plan appropriately, and be comfortable with your plan B.
  3. Rentals – A tent is an absolute essential. You want to protect your guests from the elements, and is essential for a rain plan. If you have your heart set on an un-tented affair, talk to rental companies about reserving a tent (make it your plan B). Is your ceremony/reception close to the house? Does your house have enough electricity for the band/dj, tent lighting, caterers and bathrooms, or do you need a generator? What about water? Are you going to run the water line off the house or do you need an external water supply?
  4. Facilities – A necessary evil. Make sure to budget for port-o-potties. They have very nice trailers available. I would not take the chance that the plumbing in the house will hold up. Here are just some of the items that you need to think about.

There are others, but this will give you a good starting off point. Before you start planning, make sure you invite a caterer, tent company and event planner out to your home.

People with experience can give you a good idea of what you can and cannot do with your space.

Best of luck!

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Choosing a Photographer That Fits You

Posted by Lisa Nelson of mywedding.com
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Photography by Jeff Newsom – see more at www.jeffnewsom.com

Next to saying your “I Do’s” with your spouse; your photographer will be one of the most important parts of your day. In many instances, the planning takes place nearly a year or more in advance and when the day is through it’ll seem like it only took a moment to live through.

But, when all the food is gone, the flowers are long dead, and the dress preserved – your pictures will serve as the memories you remember, have forgotten or never experienced. I cannot express how important it is to choose the photographer that fits your style and personality, because it’s through this medium that you will remember your special day.

If your preferred style is formal/posed, than you should commission a photographer that excels with this type of portraiture. If you like a fine art approach, then you should commission a photographer who excels at a fine art approach. To ask one photographer to duplicate the style of another is pointless because you will not be happy with the final result or with the photographer.

Since I live in the real world, I know that budgets come into play. There are great photographers in all budget categories. You just have to do your research. Does your style not match the style in most “traditional” wedding photographers? Are you budget challenged? You may have to go outside your comfort zone and seek out freelance photographers who would fit your budget and/or style preferences.

Let’s review the 4 most common styles of wedding photographers.

  • Traditional – These photographers are proficient at capturing posed shots so that they do not look posed.
  • Documentary – These photographers tell a story from beginning to end. They will often take a picture of a shoe, or an earring. They will capture the entire story from beginning to end.
  • Photojournalist – A true photojournalist excels at capturing emotion on film. It’s a newspaper style. They are able to get emotion out of the moment. The style is very hands off.
  • Fine art – These photographers often have the option of taking some or all of your wedding on film. These photographers often have their own dark room, and can offer options; such as, hand painting and custom printing.

    • Along with the style, the personality of the photographer is extremely important. You and your new spouse will be spending the entire day with him/her. Liking and feeling comfortable with your photographer is of utmost importance, not only for great pictures but also for a good experience.

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    Reasons to Have a Wedding Planner

    Posted by Lisa Nelson of mywedding.com

    Photography by J May Photography

    In my last blog post, I spoke about the importance of the “day of” coordinator to your wedding planning team. Now, I want to talk about the benefits of hiring a planner – not necessarily to plan every single detail of your wedding – but at the very least, to give you advice and guidance throughout the entire planning process. The only way I know to tell you about the benefits of having a planner, is to tell you the value I bring to my own couples.

    I have the ability to make magical things happen with just one phone call or email – like a super hero! It’s pretty funny that some people will not respond to a bride for a week, but will respond to me right away. I often wonder why that is – since the bride is their actual client. I think it’s probably because I bring more repeat business. Whether it be good or bad – it’s true.

    It’s totally not my style to push people around – however, when someone doesn’t respond to one of my brides…they know it. Plus, if people want my business, than they have to show me how they will go above and beyond for my couples.

    I have no alliances to anyone, with the exception of the two people that hire me – the bride and groom. It’s my job to get you what you want. I had my wedding years ago. It was wonderful, but it’s over. It’s not my job to plan my wedding, but to take your vision and make it a reality. We are here to advocate for you. We negotiate with vendors, whether they are our suggestion or yours. We help to smooth things over with your family and friends.

    A few of my couples have asked me to talk to vendors when they are having a difficult time getting their points across. They ask me intervene.

    One advantage of having a planner throughout the entire process is that you are able to take advantage of their hard-earned networking. A good planner will have many connections within the community – which allows you access to the best vendors in the area. If the planner is well-respected in the community, the vendors will want to go above and beyond to impress you and your family – thereby impressing the planner which helps ensure repeat business.

    At one of my recent weddings, the bride and groom contracted a videographer and opted for associate coverage (no assistant). On the day of the wedding, the owner showed up with an assistant. Not bad! Above and beyond!

    Experience is one of the most important aspects. A good planner will have years of experience. Having done umpteen more weddings than the bride and groom – they know the ropes and know how to avoid the pitfalls of wedding planning. The wedding planner will ensure that your process is smooth and stress free. They will make sure all the nuances of wedding planning are taken care of with professionalism.

    Additionally, I totally believe that time is money. A planner will save you time and stress which will be worth their weight in gold.

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