Articles posted by Mary

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Want to Get Married Outdoors? No Sweat!

Posted by Mary of mywedding.com

There are lots of reasons to be married outdoors, and you don’t have to be limited to the hot summer months! With contingency plans, you can tie the knot in the great outdoors during any time of year (yes, even winter). Here are some things to consider:

 

  • Plan for inclement weather.
    They say that if it rains on your wedding day, it is supposed to bring good luck to the marriage. This is only true for those couples that have a backup rain venue, or a ton of umbrellas.

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  • Consider time of day.
    During the summer, an evening wedding might be preferable due to excessive heat during mid-day and even through the late afternoon. Also, the reception will then go into the night, when there will surely be some relief.

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  • Make your venue accessible and comfortable for guests.
    This means providing shade if it’s going to be hot, or a source of warmth if it may be chilly (consider a heated tent, although this isn’t exactly cheap; blankets are a cozy alternative and can be shared…how romantic). Give special consideration to elderly and handicapped guests, for whom the elements and terrain of the venue can present increased difficulty.
  • Don’t forget about the birds and the bees!
    I mean the real-live creatures here, people. Save the figurative ones for your honeymoon. Critters can be the most relentless wedding crashers, and will prove to be even more annoying than the drunkest guest at the reception. Plan to provide citronella spray or candles around the site, or handle the pests in some other way…but do plan for them.

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  • Will it be windy?
    This could greatly affect your guests’ ability to hear the ceremony. There are other factors that could affect the sound quality also, so be sure to visit the ceremony site during the time of day (and time of year) that your wedding will take place and make note of any external or environmental noise that will likely be present. Had I done this myself before my own lakeside wedding, I would probably have realized if you choose to get married in front of a busy marina, your guests are far more likely to hear the boat engines than your vows.

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  • Will your food survive the elements?
    This is an especially important consideration if it will be hot and particularly if there will be a buffet or other food set out. Talk to your caterer about timing and cooling of food in order to keep it appetizing and, most importantly, safe! Nobody wants to eat shrimp cocktail that’s been baking in the sun for four hours.

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  • Keep your guests hydrated.
    If you’re getting married during the warmer season, offer non-alcoholic beverages before the ceremony, such as water with lemon or iced tea. Alternatively, if you’re planning a winter outdoor wedding, you may want to provide hot cocoa or some other steamy beverage to warm them up upon their arrival.

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  • Are you breaking the law?
    No, I know you’re both consenting adults. I’m not talking about that. If you’re getting married at a public place, such as a park or beach, check to see if you need permits, especially for alcohol on the premises. Your guests don’t want to see the happy couple leave for their honeymoon handcuffed in the back of a squad car.

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  • Keep your guests informed.
    Provide information to your guests about environmental factors that you anticipate and that they can prepare themselves for. For example, if your wedding site will be soft and grassy, you may want to advise the women (and maybe some of the men, depending on your guest list) not to wear heels. This information should be included in the invitation rather than the welcome packets, so that they have the time and resources necessary to plan for the event.

    • Photo Credit: Matt Haas Photography

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    Be Prepared, Be Very Prepared

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    Jessica Strickland – see more at www.jessicastrickland.com

    You’ve chosen your photographer decided on the menu and completed your seating chart in a way that will keep your future mother-in-law’s cougarlicious divorced gal pals as far away from the young single groomsmen as possible (Hint: Seat them near the vodka and they’re less likely to stalk prey across the room. This particular breed of cougar is known for its tendency to stick close to its watering hole). Now the big day is quickly approaching, and you have a sneaking suspicion that there is still plenty to be done before you say, “I Do.” Guess what? You’re right. Here’s a list of things to take care of before you walk down the aisle. After this checklist is complete, feel free to breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy a celebratory glass of champagne…or four. You’re ready!

    Prepare for your Honeymoon
    Gather all of your travel documents, including passports (make sure they’re not expired!), plane tickets and itineraries, ahead of time. Pack these and your honeymoon wardrobe (this should consist mainly of bikinis and lacy lingerie, unless of course you’re the groom…in which case you are still welcome to pack bikinis and lingerie for yourself…no judgment big guy) well in advance, so that you don’t inadvertently forget anything during the last minute frenzy. Don’t forget to plan for incidentals such as pet care and mail pickup during your vacation.

    Purchase or Gather Wedding Day Accessories
    These include items such as toasting glasses, guest book and pen, unity candle, ring pillow, flower girl basket, cake knife and server, favors, etc.

    Gifts for Wedding Attendants
    It’s customary to get a special gift for your wedding attendants to show your appreciation for the role that they’re playing in your big day. These are traditionally given at the rehearsal dinner or bridesmaids luncheon.

    Take Care of Final Payments and Tips
    Make sure that any vendors who need to be paid and/or tipped are accounted for before the wedding day. You can put payment in envelopes to be distributed by the best man, or another trusted individual at the event so that you don’t have to worry about it.

    Gather All Your Wedding Day Attire Essentials
    This includes jewelry, hosiery, undergarments, shoes, etc. Also, make a plan for getting your dress to the ceremony venue.

    Put Together a ‘Bridal Emergency Kit’
    Unless, again, you’re the groom, in which case my best guess is that your emergency kit should include something along the lines of a flask of whiskey and a razor. Suggested items for the bridal emergency kit include bobby pins, hairspray, face powder, lip gloss and lipstick, hemming tape for last-minute repairs, traction pads for heels, a pair of nylons, an umbrella and a shawl, stain remover, aspirin, breath mints, tissues, nail polish, safety pins and a sewing kit.

    Get Your Marriage License
    Don’t forget to make it legal! Have somebody responsible and sober-ish hold onto the documents after the ceremony, so that you can file them with The Man in order to get everything finalized.

    Finalize Details with Wedding Attendants, Officiants and Vendors
    Include a timeline for the day in your discussions, so that everyone knows what’s expected of them. Also, be sure to have a party responsible for gathering the guest book, gifts, returning the groom’s tux (if necessary), and keeping your dress or taking it to be cleaned and preserved after your departure.

    Relax (well, try to) and Have Fun!
    You’ve earned it! Congratulations!

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    Registering for Gifts – The Real Way!

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    Photography by Pilster Photography – see more at www.pilsterphotography.com

    When my husband and I were engaged, a friend of ours told us to beware the wedding registry process because it has been known to cause arguments between couples. We had a good, condescending laugh at anybody that could let something as trivial as a gravy boat come between them, in the true ‘That-Will-Never-Happen-To-Us’ spirit that held us firmly in its grip. After all, we were young, in love, and about to go pick out a bevy of random stuff that people were going to give us for free! What’s to argue about? And off we went, into the sunset of the bridal registry department…where it got ugly.

    Within five minutes of meeting the lovely older saleslady in the fine china department, my husband (the abrasive New Yorker with a heart of gold that he does NOT wear on his sleeve) was telling her that we didn’t need any of this “random cr_p”, and that he couldn’t believe people pay this kind of money for “all this (bleep)” when it’s so readily available at a discount online. (I know, I know…ladies, he’s taken. Sorry.) Anyway, we left the store post haste without registering for diddly, needless to say, and we proceeded to have a very spirited discussion – if you know what I mean – on our way home. A couple of weeks later he was granted a do-over with a behavioral contract, and my mom in tow. He reformed, I compromised on the crystal doodads, and we ended up with some great loot. Anyway, here are a few tips to help you breeze through the registry process with (hopefully) less pain and suffering all around. Good luck!

    Make It a Team Effort
    In order to get the Happy Groom excited about the registry process, all you have to do is let him hold the gun. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you will.) Just tell him which barcodes to shoot at, and give him an arbitrary amount of points for each one. If he’s especially cooperative, let him spend 15 minutes alone, with the gun, in the electronics department.

    Do It Before Crunch Time
    Don’t let this fester on your to-do list. Complete your registry early in the planning process so that you can enjoy it stress-free, and also give your guests plenty of time to shop early. Remember to send prompt thank-you notes for gifts that you receive even before your wedding, so that your guests know you’ve received them.

    Register According to Your Lifestyle…You Don’t Have to Stick With China and Crystal
    If you two are more Backyard BBQ than Afternoon Tea, by all means let your registry reflect your style! There are so many stores that offer wedding registries; you certainly don’t have to feel confined by tradition! Want a new canoe for two? Register at your favorite sporting goods store! Need to fix up your fixer-upper? A surprising number of home improvement stores allow for bridal registry. How about a few props to keep things spicy in the bedroom? Um…no. You need to shop for those yourselves.

    Hit a Variety of Price Points
    Make sure that there are accessible items for all of your guests, from the struggling student to the established executive. You should include several smaller items for the budget-conscious (starting at $15 or $20), and also have some big-ticket items so that big spenders don’t need to purchase several things in order to reach their intended gift amount.

    Make Your Registry Accessible to Everyone
    Having your registry available online is the best way to do this, but remember that many folks (especially older generations) still want to go into the store, so that should be an option for guests as well.

    Can You Ask for Cash?
    Unless cash gifts are a known tradition in your culture, avoid directly asking for cash.  Be more discreet by having your family and bridesmaids quietly spread the word to those who ask.  Another alternative is to use a cash or honeymoon registry, but do remember not to print any registry information on the invitation.

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    Summer Wedding Plans? How to Beat the Heat

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    While most of us are still trying to cope with the relentless chill of winter (try a hot toddy or three!), it can be difficult to believe that spring is actually here – with summer hot on its heels. Don’t worry; I’m not about to start threatening you with the impending swimsuit season, so go ahead and dig into that lasagna like you’re wearing a scarf and trench coat for life, my friend…but do keep in mind that if you’re getting hitched this summer, it will be here before you know it. This means that it’s time to start figuring out how to keep your sizzling summer wedding as cool and comfortable as possible for you and your guests! Here are a few tips.

    Don’t feel like you have to get married outdoors
    While many couples do choose to get married outside, it’s not a requirement just because your wedding date happens to fall between June and September. Indoor venues can provide you with an elegant and sophisticated setting for your nuptials, and your guests will probably be thankful for the A/C!

    If you do get married outside, plan ahead for the elements
    Keep in mind that your unexpected guests could include wind, bugs, afternoon thunderstorms and your sketchy second cousin who brings his own flask and makes creepy googly-eyes at your bridesmaids (although he’s not just a seasonal hazard, unfortunately). Be sure to have provisions in place to deal with these intruders, including microphones (wind can make it difficult to hear), citronella candles, tents or other shelters and perhaps a bouncer.

    Get creative with your flora
    Talk to your florist about how to keep your flowers vibrant throughout the day. Consider options such as heartier blooms (think orchids and other tropical plants that are conditioned to survive high temperatures), and floating (translation: not-wilting) centerpieces.

    Keep your food fresh
    News flash: Nobody is going to eat the raw oysters that have been sitting outside all afternoon, working on their tan. And if they do, they are not likely to have fond memories of your wedding. Make sure your caterer has a plan – and the necessary equipment – to keep your food tasty and cool. This includes the cake, which will not make as lovely a display piece once the butter cream frosting has oozed to the floor.

    Serve festive, frozen cocktails!
    Nothing says summer like blended ice and booze! Whether you’re a traditionalist who prefers the classic margarita, or you want to break from the norm and try something new such as the Love Potion #9, a tropical frozen drink is sure to get your party rolling.

    Give the groomsmen a break
    While the most popular wedding dress styles are strapless and sleeveless, grooms’ attire isn’t usually as well-suited for the scorching summer months. One option is to go with the tuxedo muscle-T (how dreamy would your hairy guy look in one of those bad boys?). Another is to consider materials such as linen and silk that offer more relief than a polyester 3-piece suit with vest. And leave the top hat at home.

    Timing is everything
    If it’s likely to be uncomfortably warm on your wedding day, you may not want to have your ceremony take place at high noon. A late afternoon or evening wedding will still allow you to enjoy the beauty of the season, without all the sweat.

    Get Shady
    Provide your guests with some beautiful parasols. They can shy away from the heat a bit and focus more on your nuptials than that pounding sun. And while you’re at it, maybe throw in a couple of hand fans for a cool off option.

    Offer relief and refreshment to your guests
    Heat is dehydrating, and so is alcohol. If your friends and family are anything like mine, they’re sure to have too much of both before they realize that the combination is causing them to fall down on the dance floor. Be sure to provide both shade and water (or another non-alcoholic beverage) before and after the ceremony. Cheers!

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    Honeymoon on a Budget

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    Photo Taken From www.organize.com

    Given the current economic climate, many of us are buying less, taking fewer trips, and generally trying to tighten the old belt. In order to save money around the house, I have even stopped using organic lime juice in my margaritas, and I don’t feed the dog anymore. (She still gets her own margaritas, so don’t go calling the Humane Society or anything.) What it comes down to is: Times are tough. It can be especially challenging to plan your wedding – let alone the honeymoon – when you’re not exactly flush with cash. It usually costs a pretty penny to travel to a beautiful, relaxing location where you will spend a week basking in your post-nuptial afterglow…if “basking” is what the kids are calling it these days. However, it is possible to have a blissful honeymoon minus the hefty price tag, if you’re willing to think a little bit outside the box. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you plan your getaway:

    Travel During the Off-Season
    Most popular sunny getaway locales, such as Hawaii and the Caribbean, are more expensive during the winter months when everybody and their mother want to thaw out for a week. Try traveling during other times of year for some serious price breaks on airfare and accommodations. If your wedding happens to be during high season, consider taking an inexpensive mini-moon immediately after the event, (say a couple of days at a local hotel) and postponing the big trip until it’s no longer peak travel season.

    Register For Your Honeymoon
    This is an increasingly popular thing to do, and if you work with a travel agent they will help you figure out the logistics of it. Most people want to give you something that you will really enjoy, and a week on a tropical island is marginally more enjoyable than a gravy boat. Also check out Honeyluna.com, which is a great website that allows you to register for your honeymoon online.

    Book a Package Deal
    You can often save money by booking a package deal, such as airfare + lodging + transportation, or even going the all-inclusive route (find and read customer reviews carefully before committing to an all-inclusive). Ask your travel agent, or look online for package deals.

    Check out the Literature
    There are publications such as Budget Travel that are dedicated to the quest for affordable vacations. Ask at a local travel agency, library or bookstore for guidance when choosing one. Peruse for destination ideas and tips.

    Be Flexible (Last minute deals, alternate airports)
    If you’re willing to be flexible about your travel dates and the airports you use, you may be able to find a better deal that you would otherwise. Generally, it’s cheaper to fly out of larger metropolitan airports than local regional ones. Also, if you stay away over a Saturday night you can often save even more, as it weeds out the high-rolling business travelers. Perhaps if the CEOs of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had done more business travel on weekends, we wouldn’t be in such a mess. Because I’m sure they flew commercially all the time.

    Sign up for Online Travel Alerts
    Enter your honeymoon destination and travel dates with an online travel company such as Orbitz, Travelocity or Expedia, and have email alerts sent to you when there is a deal that corresponds with them.

    Hit the Road, Jack (and Jill)
    Now that gas prices have gone way down, a romantic road trip could be the way to go if you’re trying to keep spending to a minimum. If you’re really brave, you could also incorporate camping, but I don’t recommend this unless it’s actually suggested by the bride. Otherwise it will not turn out well…trust me.

    Get a Credit Card with Mileage Points
    You know your credit card will take a beating during wedding planning, and this is one way to assuage some of the associated guilt. If you sign up for a card with airline mileage awards benefits, you can get some satisfaction from the knowledge that each ka-ching you hear on your way to the altar (believe me, you’ll think your ears are constantly ringing) is getting you that much closer to that white sandy beach.

    Finally, remember that no matter where you go and when, and how frugal you have to be about it, it will be a perfect honeymoon in at least two all-important ways: You will be married to your sweetheart, and your in-laws will be far, far away.

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    Kid-Friendly Wedding (Part 1): Planning for Success

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com

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    If a good number of your guests are 18 and under, you may want to consider taking steps to planning a kid-friendly wedding. Having a lot of kids at your wedding can be fun and endearing, but in order for things to go smoothly you’ll need to get things in order. You’ll want to plan to keep kids occupied and make their parents feel welcome. Follow some of the suggestions below to make sure everyone is happy at your wedding.

    Offer On-Site Babysitting – Having a babysitter available to parents can be a godsend, for some. Many parents will want to take advantage of free childcare! Others will politely decline. Either way, hiring someone to keep the kids occupied and to supervise kid activities will not only make parents feel relieved, it will ease your mind as well.

    Organize a Children’s Processional – What’s the saying? If you can’t beat them, join them? Or at least ask them to join you. If you’d rather not say your vows over a screaming two-year-old, ask them to participate in the ceremony with you. Often when children are included in the fun, they’ll take matters more seriously and stay on their best behavior. Of course there is still no guarantee that they’ll act like little angels, but it’s worth a shot. If a large group of children will be at your ceremony consider having a children’s processional before the bridal party members walk down the aisle. You can have the children drop flower petals, hold each other’s hands, or carry a single flower. After the children walk down the aisle have their respective parents meet them at the altar and direct them back to their seat. They’ll feel proud that they were a part of the ceremony and your guests will get a kick out of the kid parade.

    Performance/Song/Blessing – Similar to the children’s processional, having the kids perform a song or recite a blessing at the reception is a great way to include them into the day. Most often kids who are acknowledged and included in the event tend to have more fun and will more likely stay out of trouble. Not to mention how cute and entertaining it will be to watch your favorite kids sing a special song or play an instrument just for you.

    Plan a Kid-Friendly Menu – It’s nice to offer a kid-friendly meal to make sure the evening goes as smoothly as possible. Avoid food-related power struggles between parents and children by offering something that all kids will love to eat.

    Arrange a Kid’s Table(s) – Consider placing the older children together at a kid’s table. This is especially a good idea for teens. They’ll have fun together and their parents will welcome a nice dinner with adult company as well. But do place the table near a group of parents to make sure dinner is somewhat supervised.

    Play Kid-Friendly Music – Ask your DJ to intersperse the evening with kid-friendly music. This will get them all out on the dance floor and having fun.

    Plan Activities They’ll Like – Stay tuned for of this series for a list of fun activities to offer at your wedding. The more you have to keep them occupied the happier everyone will be.

    Offer a Separate Quiet Area – Designating a quiet area for nursing moms, parents with babies, and for tired, cranky children is a good idea. If possible, offer a comfortable chair, a changing station, and a comfy place for a little person to take a nap if necessary. This will help everyone have a better time. You’ll avoid having to deal with meltdowns in the middle of your big day, parents will spare themselves the embarrassment of their screaming child, and the kids will have a safe place to go to unwind and rest.

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    Don’t Pass an Open Grave on Your Way to The Ceremony and Other Historic Wedding Superstitions

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    As it turns out, even if you walk down the aisle wearing something old, something new, something borrowed (anything but your skivvies, please) and something blue, you’re not doing everything that you can do to ensure luck and happiness in your marriage, according to superstition.

    Who knew that you should also look for a chimney sweep on the way, and that if a pig happens to catch your eye before you tie the knot, you’re doomed. (I don’t know if you can even eat bacon on your wedding morning! But I think I’d just take my chances there.) I got curious about some of the lesser-known wedding superstitions that are out there, and when I overturned some stones (well, cyber-stones on the internet) I found quite a few interesting tidbits. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Ever wonder why there are so many June weddings? I always assumed that it was because the weather was beginning to cooperate consistently then. However, apparently there is a historical context for this trend as well: Romans believed that Juno, their goddess of woman, blessed marriages that took place in her month.
  • Pay attention to what you say when you open your shower gifts! Some believe that everything the bride says as she opens her gifts will be repeated on her wedding night. (Hint: Don’t exclaim that the new corkscrew you just unwrapped is “So cute and compact, how could it possibly work properly?”) Also, beware the gift-giving order: the first gift the bride opens should be the first gift she uses (open the champagne glasses!), and the person who gives the third gift to be opened will soon have a baby. It is supposed to be good luck to take all of the ribbons from the bridal shower gifts and tie them together to make a mock-bouquet to be used during the rehearsal.
  • Get out your calendar: Plan your wedding on a Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all. I don’t really know what most of this means, but I noticed that Sunday isn’t even included. My husband and I were married on a Sunday, which you would assume is either because we’re Heathens or Jews (there’s one of each in my marriage), but was actually because the reception facility was cheaper that day.
  • Hold onto the bling, butterfingers! If the groom drops the wedding band during the ceremony, the marriage is doomed.
  • The following are supposed to be good omens on your wedding day: Seeing a rainbow, rain, meeting a black cat, and meeting a chimney sweep. Ok, Mary Poppins.
  • Don’t get married at a zoo, or a cemetery. Bad omens on your wedding day include crossing paths with a pig, hare, or lizard. Also, seeing an open grave, meeting a nun or a monk supposedly mean that you will be barren. I would bring birth control on the honeymoon anyway.
  • They say that the spouse who goes to sleep first on the wedding day will be the first to die. Red Bull, anyone?
  • Why does the groom carry the bride over the threshold? So Mrs. Trips McClumsy doesn’t take a spill on her way in to her new home. This brings bad luck.
  • Get married when the hands of the clock are pointing upwards. Somewhere between half-past and the full hour. Or use a digital.
  • Back away from the thimble! It’s bad juju to make your own dress. Go ahead and borrow a gown from somebody else, but beware that misfortune will befall the lender.
  • Finally, don’t try on your whole wedding ensemble at once before the big day. Some sources say that you should not even try on the wedding dress in its entirety (have it fitted in pieces), but I think you’ll be safe if you just leave off the veil, or the jewelry until show time.

    • Good Luck!

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    Bridesmaids Gift Ideas!

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    Photography by Cameron Ingalls – see more at www.cameroningalls.com

    It is a daunting task to have to come up with a perfect bridesmaid gift that all of your leading ladies will appreciate, especially if you’re trying to think outside of the silver, monogrammed jewelry) box. But before you throw up your hands and resign yourself to ordering the standard engraved photo frame for everyone, stop! Put down the mouse, back away from the ‘ Useless−Monogrammed−Knickknacks−R−Us.com’ website, and consider one of the more unique options listed below. These ideas can be used specifically, or as a springboard for your own imagination. Also, keep in mind that there is no one−size−fits−all bridesmaid gift, so don’t feel like you need to give everyone the same thing. Your bridesmaids will appreciate the love and care you put into choosing something special that reflects their individual tastes, and there is no reason to break the bank in order to show your appreciation for their involvement in your special day. With a little creativity (and some helpful hints), you will be able to give your girls a gift that they might actually (gasp!) use.

    Gift baskets
    This is a great gift to tailor to your bridesmaids’ particular interests, especially if you have a small number. For example, if you have a yoga enthusiast in your wedding party you could put together a basket of yoga gear and a gift certificate for some classes in her town. A wine connoisseur might appreciate a couple of lovely glasses and a special bottle from the local area where you are getting married. If you have a larger number of attendants, or would just rather not figure out individual baskets for everyone, something like a movie night (think a wedding−themed DVD or two, plus a fun popcorn bowl and maybe even a snuggly blanket), or pedicure kit would work for everyone. I mean, who doesn’t like movie night and pedicures? Either one of these is sure to be a crowd pleaser.

    Interesting Jewelry
    I know, giving jewelry is not a revolutionary idea, but I am not talking about the same silver toggle bracelet that everyone has. (Even though I do love silver toggle bracelets…so much that I gave them to my own bridesmaids!) If you want to give jewelry, but are in the market for something original, look for artisan jewelers who create pieces that add interest to everyday outfits, but are also elegant enough for a special occasion (such as a wedding!). Check your local farmer’s market and craft fairs (now that they’ re coming into season) or poke around online to find a creative jeweler who fits your style. One of my favorites is Erin McDermott. She ships nationwide and takes custom orders for beautiful, unusual and reasonably priced pieces, and features a whole line of unique bridal and bridesmaid’s jewelry.

    Flasks
    Excuse me, but why do groomsmen get to have all the fun? This standard groomsmen’s gift is also a great idea for ladies who like to have a good time! You can find personalized flasks available online, and some companies, like such as www.weddingstand.com and www.americanbridal.com, even make them available in girly colors. How ladylike! Just a little word to the wise: If your bridesmaids are anything like my friends, and you plan to present them with fully loaded flasks, you might want to give these gifts after the ceremony in order to avoid an impromptu dance party at the altar.

    Girl−on−Girl Bondage −− I Mean Bonding (But Now I Have Your Attention!)
    Sometimes a little group QT is the best gift that you can give to your gals. This is especially true if you are including friends and family who don’t get to be together very often. Consider treating your bridesmaids to an activity that you can all enjoy together such as a group lunch, spa treatment, or cooking class. After all, a wedding is all about creating joyful memories, right? There’s no better way to do that than spending some pre−wedding quality time with your girls.

    Whatever you choose to give your bridesmaids, I have one final piece of advice: Don’t give anyone anything with your and/or hubby−to−be’s names or monogram on it. It may be difficult for you to recognize because of the thick wedding planning haze that’s blurring your vision (I know − I had a serious case of wedding goggles myself), but please believe me when I say that this is only the biggest day in the history of the universe for you. Chances are, your friends haven’t been dreaming about your wedding day since they were girls, and they probably aren’t going to celebrate your anniversary every year by watching your wedding video while drinking champagne. Here’s my point: Keep it in perspective. If you want to personalize their gift, whatever it is, make sure it’s with their information instead of your own. Happy giving!

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    Party Like You’re Getting Married Tomorrow!

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
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    Photography by Cameron Ingalls – see more at www.cameroningalls.com

    Before I get to the fun and original rehearsal dinner themes, I think it’s important to point out that while traditionally the rehearsal dinner is hosted by the Groom’s family, it is still a good idea to consult with the Happy Couple regarding their wishes here. Some may prefer a more traditional dinner, and therefore might be unpleasantly surprised to find out that the event had been turned into (for example) a cowboy-themed hoedown parody –oops, I meant party – without their consent. I speak from experience here, believe you me, partner. However, for those who like to mix it up a little bit, here are a few creative ideas to get you started. Giddyup!

    1. Hoe Down
    I thought we’d start here, because it actually is a great idea if the bride and groom are down with wearing chaps and cowboy hats to their rehearsal dinner. If so, don’t forget to include line dancing in the festivities! This is the best part, and gets everyone into the spirit of the party.

    2. Casino Night
    This is a great way to get people to mix and mingle. Set up different gaming stations around the venue, (or hold it at an actual casino if there’s one in your area) and provide a buffet dinner for the guests. Whether you’re getting married in Vegas or Cleveland, casino night is money, baby!

    3. Bowling
    Rent out a local bowling alley, and enjoy a little friendly competition over pitchers of beer. The bride and groom should definitely have custom made tacky bowling shirts if you go with this option. Crowd-pleasing fare such as pizza and nachos are perfect for bowling night – which makes this a fun and affordable party! Double whammy!

    4. Honeymoon Theme
    If the Mr. and Mrs. are going somewhere exotic on their honeymoon, this is a way to give guests a preview of the flavors and ambience that await them. For example, if they’re going to get leid in the Hawaiian Islands (had to do it, sorry), throw a rehearsal dinner luau complete with hula dancers and traditional Hawaiian cuisine.

    5. Softball
    This is another active and affordable option. Throw the rehearsal dinner party at a local park with baseball fields. Divide up teams any way you like (for example, Groom’s side vs. Bride’s, or Guys vs. Girls) and play a couple of innings before enjoying a barbecue or other easy, park-friendly fare. Batter up!

    6. Clambake
    If you’re getting married in a shellfish-producing locale, this is a great way to celebrate the flavor of the region. It’s also a laid-back affair, and as an added bonus, it’s the only situation (don’t argue with me here) where it’s ok for guys to wear man-capris.

    7. Pool Party
    This is obviously a seasonal option, and you have to be pretty sure that your weather will cooperate if you decide to have a pool party rehearsal dinner. But if these factors align, your single groomsmen will be forever grateful to you for throwing a party where the bridesmaids are encouraged to wear bikinis. Although I’d suggest avoiding the idea of water polo at all cost. We all remember that scene in “Meet the Parents.” Not pretty!

    8. Bottoms up
    Nothing gets a party rolling like a little social lubricant…so why not make it the focal point of the evening? I usually do. Anyway, take the group on a tour or wine tasting at a local vineyard, which most provides beautiful ambience as well. Often small tasting menus or hors d’oeuvres are offered for tour groups, or you can find out about having it catered.

    9. Let the games begin
    In my family, we often have a “game day” during family reunion weekends. I like to call this the ‘Special Olympics’, for reasons that would be obvious if you saw my brothers try to keep a hula hoop afloat on their hips. Anyway, organizing an evening around different family-friendly competitions such as horseshoes, sack races, etc. is a nice alternative to the traditional rehearsal dinner formality, and lends itself nicely to casual cuisine such as grilled burgers or a spaghetti feed.

    10. Take a ride
    If you’re going to be near a body of water, a dinner or sunset cruise is a great way to show off the area to out of town guests. If you’re landlocked, there are dinner trains available in many cities around the country that also provide unique group dining experiences.

    Bon Voyage!

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    Fish, Beef or Chicken Nuggets? How to Accommodate your Pint-Sized Guests!

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12489115
    Photography by whitebox weddings – see more at www.whiteboxweddings.com

    Whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be a dilemma of unforeseen magnitude. Everyone, it seems, has an opinion and is not afraid to voice it. Loudly. Including kids in your celebration can provide relief for their parents, who would otherwise have to deal with childcare (this is especially difficult if traveling for the event). However, as a parent myself, I can say that sometimes I secretly like not having the option to bring my kids to an event. It forces me to enjoy some adults-only time, rather than spend the evening constantly reminding people that we do not throw our partially chewed food at the bride (that’s just not polite). The most important thing to keep in mind when you choose whether or not to invite kids to your wedding, as with all aspects of your day, is that the two of you must make your decision regardless of outside pressure.

    With that being said, this collection of tips is for brides and grooms who have decided to roll the dice and invite guests of all ages and impulse-control ability levels. Now what, aside from announcing mid- ceremony at the top of their lungs that they need to go to the bathroom and EXACTLY what they plan on doing in there, will they have in store for you on your big day… and how can you exercise some damage control?

    Don’t expect flower girl and/or ring bearer to stay with you at the altar
    This is a long time for kids to stand still with people looking at them. After they’ve completed their dutiful walk down the aisle, provide a chair for them in the front row or off to the side, and seat at least one of their parents there to receive them. You may want to suggest that their parents provide them with a quiet toy or book once they’re seated.

    Busy is Better
    It’s all about keeping them occupied. If there will be more than a handful of children at your reception, and your venue and budget will allow for it, provide a kid-friendly area in an adjacent room. Games, movies, and even special entertainment such as a magician will help keep the little ones happy and busy. Consider hiring a babysitter or two to supervise the area so that parents don’t have to monitor constantly.

    Kid Food
    The most compelling reason to offer simplified fare to your young guests? Cost. Why should you pay for all of those extra servings of beef tenderloin that will be ill received “Ewww…Gross!” when chicken nuggets cost a fraction of the price and are sure to be a hit? You may even want to provide a kid buffet, with delicacies such as a pizza tower, macaroni and cheese, and fruit. Also, seating children together at specified “kid tables” will be more fun for everyone. They get to put their veggies up their noses without those pesky parents spoiling the fun, and said parents get to wine and dine in peace. Hint: be sure to have your photographer capture some of the mayhem at the kids’ table.

    Don’t Stress
    No matter what you plan for, kids will be kids. There is sure to be some measure of chaos surrounding them, and the best that you can do is to see the humor in it. After all, while the three-year-old streaker on the dance floor may be an unexpected addition to your first dance as husband and wife, it will surely create a moment that you and your guests will remember forever. And that’s what it’s all about, right?

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    Let the Good Times Roll…and Roll, and Roll: A Guide to Extended Wedding Celebrations

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488932
    Photography by Cameron Ingalls – see more at www.cameroningalls.com

    After the knot is tied, when the toasts are over and the dust has settled back on the dance floor, many newlyweds feel like they blinked and missed the party. Their wedding celebration flew by in a whirlwind of champagne and chiffon, and they hardly got to visit with anybody or enjoy the festivities.

    For many engaged couples, the hopeful solution to this common problem is to extend their wedding weekend into a mini-vacation, in order to maximize the time that they have all of their friends and loved ones together.

    Mathematically, it’s a pretty simple equation: more time = more parties, more opportunities for people to visit with one another and with the bride and groom, and more chances for your sketchy uncle to get a little tipsy and hit on your bridesmaids. Is it a good idea to prolong the nuptial festivities? Well, if you don’t have a creepy uncle, or if you do but one of your bridesmaids is into dirty old men, I say go for it. Three or four days is probably the maximum amount of time that you want to plan for, otherwise it starts to feel a little like summer camp with cocktail hour. (Sign me up, Mom and Dad!) Here are a few ideas to help you plan a long and lively wedding weekend.

    Welcome Wagon
    It’s nice to start off with a casual welcome party. This can take place a night or two before your rehearsal dinner, depending on when most guests will be arriving. There are really no rules for this gathering; it’s simply a low-key way to get everyone together and get the revelry rolling. It can include food (keep it simple) or be limited to cocktail hour at a local bar. You can even hit the ground running, literally, with a softball or kickball game and barbecue at a local park. Anyone can host this event, including the happy couple, and you should invite all of your guests that will be in town – especially if you’re having a destination wedding.

    Plan Daytime Activities
    Make information available to your guests about daytime activities in your wedding area. Think along vacation activity lines: golf, hiking, tours, shopping, etc. You may want to schedule a couple of optional excursions and include this information in welcome packets. For example, if you’re being married near a body of water, make a reservation for a boat tour one day, or if you will be in a large city plan a group museum outing. It’s all about local flavor: choose activities that will showcase your wedding locale, and don’t feel like you need to foot the bill here.

    Holiday Weekend? Plan Ahead
    There are pros and cons to planning your extended wedding celebration over a holiday weekend. On the positive side, guests are less likely to have to take time off of work in order to stay for multiple days, and therefore are more likely to turn it into a mini-vacation. However, holiday weekends can mean more expensive travel and conflicting plans. If you’re planning to get married over a holiday weekend, let your invitees know as soon as possible. For especially busy weekends such as Memorial Day, you may want to send out save-the-dates up to eight months in advance.

    Farewell Brunch
    Give your guests an opportunity to reflect on the weekend while they cure what ails them with a little “hair of the dog” in the form of Bloody Mary’s and Mimosas. Oh yeah, and you should also provide food. This is a pleasant way to wrap up the festivities, and send your loved ones on their way with full bellies and pleasant memories. You and your new spouse do not necessarily need to attend the brunch; if you decide instead to be on an airplane halfway to Bermuda during this time, sipping champagne cocktails and talking about anything other than seating arrangements and centerpieces, more power to you! Bon Voyage!

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    Setting the Scene with a Wedding Program

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488738
    Photography by The Wiebners – Joel and Rita Wiebner – see more at www.thewiebners.com

    I have one regret about my wedding day, besides the fact that my dress fell down at the altar (thank goodness for flesh colored undergarments): That I decided that I could do without wedding programs. Well, that our guests could do without the programs. I don’t really know what I was thinking, but I refused to budge on the issue. At the time I used some excuse about not wanting to use up all that paper for such a temporary purpose, but in reality I just did not want to try and sort out all of my (now) husband’s half-ex-step familial relations (it’s complicated, sprawling and inter-continental), in a way that would make sense in print. In retrospect, this was a big mistake. There is a time and a place to use paper that you know will be left behind, forgotten under chairs and on reception tables (not by everyone; some people like Dear Old Granny will cherish it as a keepsake), and this is it. The program sets the tone for your ceremony, and make guests feel involved and informed. If you’re unsure about where to begin and what to include in your wedding program, here are a few tips to get you going:

    Include Basic Information such as your full names, the date and location of the wedding ceremony. Also list the names of the parents of the Bride and the parents of the Groom, the name of the Officiant, names of the Wedding Party members, and anybody else who will participate in the ceremony (such as Readers and Musicians).

    Give Them a Play-By-Play of the order of the ceremony, including the names and origins of the musical selections. Here is a sample of the sequence of events, as listed in the program:

    • Prelude (“Macarena” by Los Del Rio)
    • Processional (“White Wedding” by Billy Idol)
    • Opening Words
    • Readings (include titles)
    • Wedding Vows
    • Exchange of Rings
    • Pronouncement and Smoocheroo
    • Blessing or other Final Words
    • Recessional (“Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye)

    You May Also Want to Incorporate a few other things to further personalize your program, such as:

    • Details about each member of the wedding party such as how you know them, where they live, and how many speeding tickets they’ve gotten. Feel free to include a really embarrassing photo of each attendant from his/her awkward years, too, just for fun. Hey, it’s your day.
    • Explanations of ethnic or religious customs or rituals that are will take place during the ceremony
    • A note of gratitude to guests, parents or both
    • A memorial to deceased loved ones in the form of a photo, quote, or simple statement

    To DIY or Not?
    Many couples decide to make their own wedding programs using kits and supplies from a stationer, and/or computer programs designed specifically for this task. This can save you valuable money, but it can also be a burdensome “to do” on an already lengthy list. If that’s the case for you, or your creativity is limited, you may want to have somebody else make your programs (you can usually use the same company that does the invitations).

    Get them Into the Hands of Your Guests in one of several ways. Place them in baskets (or some other container that fits your wedding décor) at the ceremony entrance so that guests can grab one when they come in, or simply place one on each chair (beware the wind, if you’re having an outdoor ceremony). Alternatively, you could ask somebody to pass them out to guests as they arrive; this is a great way to include somebody who didn’t quite make the wedding party cut!

    Final Tip: Save a program for yourselves! It makes a great addition to your wedding album.

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    Bridal Boot Camp – Get in Shape Before the Big Day!

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488993
    Photography by Cameron Ingalls – see more at www.cameroningalls.com

    Want to look and feel your very best on your wedding day? Just follow these simple steps to a healthier, stronger you…and look gorgeous in that gown.

    Step 1: Drink More! (Do I have your attention now?)
    I mean water, here. Water helps flush the toxins from your body, and keeps you full between snacks and meals. Staying hydrated also boosts your energy and makes your skin glow. Keep a water bottle with you so that you can sip throughout the day, and if you want a twist try squeezing a little lemon in there. The amount of water that you should drink depends on your weight: Divide your body weight by two, and aim to drink that many ounces per day. (For example, if you weigh 140 pounds you should try to drink 70 ounces of water daily.)

    Here’s some bad news on the beverage front: Booze is not slimming. Not even if you drink it on the treadmill. (I misunderstood the purpose of the cup holder, apparently, until the gym staff enlightened me.) So you’re going to want to limit your consumption of alcoholic beverages as much as possible. And while you’re at it, lay off the caffeine as well, which can be dehydrating. Believe me, I know how difficult it is to imagine starting your day with anything other than your usual double espresso doctored up with a shot or two of Baileys, but you’ll be better off without it in the long run.

    Step 2: Eat More…Often
    In order to avoid over-indulging at mealtimes, snack smart throughout the day. If you fill up on healthy foods such as fruits, veggies and nuts, you will have more energy during the day and you’ll have less of an appetite for the fattening stuff that’s likely to be available at mealtimes. Keep healthy snacks with you wherever you are, so that you’re not tempted by a quick and unhealthy hunger fix.

    When it is time to sit down for a meal, exercise portion control. Take small servings to begin with, and refill only if you are still hungry. Also, a general rule of healthy eating is the fewer ingredients a food has, the better it is for you. Fresh, simple food is best for you and better for your waistline.

    Step 3: Get Moving
    I don’t need to tell you that it’s important to exercise. However, I know that it can be daunting to begin or change a workout routine. Don’t worry: Even if you haven’t been to the gym since before legwarmers were in fashion (the first time around), you can whip that booty into shape before you hit the aisle. You just need a little creativity in your approach. Going dancing with your girlfriends, walking to work, or taking a bike ride with your fiancé are all fun and effective forms of exercise. Now if only there was an aerobic activity that you and your honey could do in the bedroom…hmmm…let me know if you think of one.

    Step 4: Catch Some Z’s
    How in the world can snoozing help you lose weight? Well, you can’t eat a Big Mac in your sleep. I hope. Also, getting enough rest (adults should aim for 7 to 8 hours per night) rejuvenates you so that you have the energy to be active during the day, and helps strengthen your immune system so that you don’t get sick. Also, you are more likely to give in to unhealthy cravings when you’re tired. Now get to bed young lady!

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    Drink Before You Speak! And Other Unwritten Laws of Wedding Toasts!

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12489107
    Photography by The Wiebners – Joel and Rita Wiebner – see more at www.thewiebners.com

    Some people are lucky enough to be able to speak candidly in front of a group, with grace and wit and impeccable timing. I hate them. I count myself in the miserable majority of reluctant public speakers, who freeze up and immediately lose 30 IQ points when faced with a microphone and a crowd that exceeds three people. If you’re with me, the greatest advice that I can offer you is this: Make sure to hit the bar before the stage. This is the intended order of things, and you should not try to interfere with nature’s course. With that being said, I have gathered up a few other hints for those of you who are dreading an impending toast that you must give, or planning for toasts at your own wedding. Here is a ‘Who, What, When and Where’ of Wedding Toasts, that I hope will be helpful.

    Who: Anyone should feel welcome to give a toast, but nobody should feel pressured to do so. Traditionally, toasts are given by the Best Man, Maid of Honor, and the fathers of both the Bride and Groom. Today, many brides and grooms also offer a toast to one another, and/or their families and other wedding guests. Often, other guests want an opportunity to offer their wishes to the happy couple; and as the evening wears on, some people who didn’t initially wish to speak will feel compelled to do so after an extra helping of the bubbly. Trust me: The path to the microphone is paved with booze, so keep it flowing if you’re in the market for some memorable moments.

    What: If you’re planning to give a toast, keep it brief and sincere. There is no need to be in the hot seat for more than a couple of minutes. Also, while it’s good to be candid, don’t be afraid to write down a few key points that you can glance at if you think you’ll be nervous. Introduce yourself in simple terms, (“Hi, I’m Mary. I have been friends with Karen since elementary school.”), without offering TMI for your general audience: (“She threw up in my car when we were 17, after drinking too many strawberry wine coolers”). Then offer a personal anecdote that illustrates the sentiment you’re trying to convey, and wrap it up with a wish for the couple’s future. Using quotes or song lyrics works well. Humor is welcome, but if you feel forced or unnatural when trying to be funny, it will show. It is best to simply be yourself, and to say something genuine and kind. I am not a big fan of the public roast, unless it is so well executed that it actually paints its victim in a flattering light. Otherwise, embarrassing stories should be shared at the stag parties or somewhere else that’s out of earshot of everyone over sixty or under twenty. Finally, DON’T bring up past romances, or inside jokes. Nobody will appreciate it; least of all the Bride and Groom.

    When: It’s up to the Bride and Groom whether the toasts occur during the rehearsal dinner or the wedding reception, or both. My advice when making this choice is: If you think that there will be quite a few toasts beyond the traditional ones listed above, it might be better to have the majority of them at the rehearsal dinner so that there is more time for everyone to mingle and make fools of themselves on the dance floor during the reception. You may want to leave just the Father-of-the-Bride toast and the couple’s toasts for the wedding day and have everyone else speak the night before. Either way, they should happen during a natural gathering time for the group, such as before or after the cake cutting or at mealtime. If you’re not having a sit-down meal, it’s a good idea to choose a time for the champagne to be served, at which point the appointed person (often the Best Man) will signal the beginning of the toasts by tapping his glass, and start with his own.

    Where: If there will be a microphone available at your toasting venue (and I strongly recommend having one, if only for dear old Granny’s sake so she doesn’t have to keep yelling, “WHAT? Speak up Sonny, and talk into my good ear!”), it should be placed in a central location in the room where everybody will be able to see it. If there is a stage, that works nicely although it can be intimidating for those guests who want to say something but hate being on stage (I can relate). Alternatively, if you are having toasts during a time when the group is seated, people can stand up at their tables and speak from there if the layout lends itself to this system. This can offer a welcome change of perspective throughout the party.

    For more additional tips on handling Wedding Toasts, check this out!

    Cheers! (clink)

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    Extreme Bachelor Party Adventures: Beyond the Strip Club

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488916
    Photo from www.buytaert.net

    For guys, there are a few fundamental bachelor party basics that are universally understood: Either the participants should be in great danger of becoming seriously injured, small animals should fear for their lives, everybody should end up wasted, or all of the above. These parameters come into effect sometime during high school, and apparently never expire. Therefore, if you are one of the many bachelors who are looking for an alternative to the traditional drink-till-you-puke-on-the-stripper stag party, consider these options that incorporate some or all of the aforementioned rules.

    Head for the great outdoors.

    Choose your adventure: Camping, ice fishing, kayaking, bear wrestling…nothing says “macho men bonding” like returning to nature, even if the closest you’ve been to a lake recently is the rowing machine at the gym. So grab your closest metro-sexual buddies and leave the urban comforts of home behind in favor of the rugged charm of the wilderness. It will be an unforgettable experience, and at the very least your friends will never again take their Charmin for granted after using damp leaves in its place. Combine your adventure with booze, and you won’t even feel the effects of the elements.

    Paintball!

    Guns, camo and pure testosterone…what’s not to love here? There is really no better way to bid farewell to bachelorhood than playing war games with all of your buddies. And since guys everywhere have never collectively outgrown their desire to shoot stuff, there is probably a paintball facility near you.

    Jump out of a perfectly good airplane or off of a perfectly good bridge.

    The great thing about skydiving, bungee jumping, and other activities that require serious cojones is that somebody in the group is guaranteed to chicken out. This provides hours of entertainment for the rest of the participants at his expense, which is really what it’s all about. If the groom doesn’t go through with it, feel free to use that information as artillery during rehearsal dinner toasts.Also, if you’re really feeling manly, you can turn two adventurous feats into one really impressive accomplishment like this dude.

    Get edu-mucated in a new field.

    Bond with your buddies by learning something new together. I’m talking about fly-fishing or archery here, not ballroom dancing or French cooking. You have the rest of your life to pursue anti-macho endeavors like those with your sweetheart, and if you were to suggest something along those lines to your friends they might question your manliness even more than they already do behind your back. In other words, your male bonding should look more like this:

    Than this:

    Get behind the wheel.

    The essentials for this type of bachelor party event are: A steering wheel, a gas pedal, and amateur drivers willing to go way too fast for their own good. All-terrain vehicles, snowmobiles, jet-skis, and go-karts are all excellent options here, so there is sure to be a potentially life-threatening vehicle in your area available for your enjoyment. Perhaps it’s best to save the brewskis until after your exploit if you choose something in this category…although I’m not sure this guy heeded that advice.

    Play card games!

    It’s not exactly original

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    Dressing the Bridal Bump: How to Find Your Ideal Maternity Wedding Gown

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488781

    Bridey and Groomy sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g; first comes love, then comes…marriageandababyinababycarriage.

    If steps 2 and 3 are happening in rapid succession for you, congratulations! You have two life-changing events to celebrate and prepare for. It is becoming more and more common and accepted for brides-to-be to also be moms-to-be. The way I see it, there are several pros to being pregnant at your wedding: That gorgeous pregnant glow (having been there, I can say that it’s usually sweat but don’t tell), not being the “tipsy bride” due to too much bubbly, and no panic attacks about forgetting to pack your birth control pills for your honeymoon. However, there are also cons, of course: No champagne (well, maybe just a little glass for toasts), the possibility of vomiting or your water breaking at the altar, depending on your stage of pregnancy, and again, because this is the real heartbreaker if you ask me, no champagne. If you’re going to be smuggling a little bundle of joy under your wedding gown, here are a few hints to help you find the perfect fit.

    www.maternitybride.com
    This company specializes in maternity wedding dresses, and has a wide variety of styles to choose from. Prices range from approximately $400 to $900, and they guarantee shipment within 28 days.

    Ebay
    Never underestimate the treasures (and horrors!) that you can find in this bidder’s paradise. As of today, there are over thirty dresses available when you search “maternity wedding gown.” I will not vouch for the products or the sellers, but I will promise you at least an hour of solid entertainment should you choose to peruse the available gowns. Be SURE to check the seller’s feedback rating on the website if you are considering purchasing a gown here. Ebay is a gambler’s paradise, and if you hit the jackpot you will never look back.

    Designers
    If you are interested in a certain designer, check to see if they create maternity gowns; many do, so you might be pleasantly surprised!

    Choose a non-maternity style wisely
    Empire waist, anyone? Depending on where you are in the pregnancy, you might be able to get away with a regular gown or dress if it has extra room in the torso.

    Have a dress made
    This can be a pricier option, depending on where you live. However, it is also a great way to make sure you end up with the gown of your dreams, with room for two. When you consult with dressmakers in your area, be sure to have ideas and photos of styles that you love, both non-maternity and maternity.

    With those suggestions in mind, here are a few tips for the expectant bride: Remember to have your alterations and final fitting as close to the big day as possible, since your shape will change rapidly, have sparkling cider on hand at the reception so that you can enjoy a little bubbly with the rest of the crowd, and for pity’s sake don’t wear sky-high heels down the aisle!

    Enjoy your Big Day…and your Tiny Treasure.

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    Beyond the Limo: Alternative Wedding Transportation

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12489042
    Photography by altf – see more at www.altf.com

    Your wedding transportation needs are going to be determined by the locations of your ceremony, reception, and accommodations. If you’re having a destination wedding, for example, where everyone will be staying in the same resort and the ceremony and reception will take place there too, you don’t have a lot to worry about in terms of transportation. However, for most couples, figuring out how to get themselves, their wedding party, and sometimes their guests from point A to B is high on their list of planning priorities. If you want to travel in style on your wedding day, consider some of the following alternatives to the traditional limousine:

    Here comes the Bride…Yeehaw!
    Given the cost of fuel these days, horse-drawn carriages are a pretty attractive option! In fact, horses actually produce their own gas…but you’re bound to figure this out for yourself if you end up riding behind one. That factor aside, this is a very romantic and old-fashioned option for the bride and groom’s arrival and departure from the wedding ceremony and/or reception. If you’re planning a snowy winter wedding, you could even use a sleigh! How picturesque.

    Party Bus!
    If you have to move a large group of people, this is an especially good choice. It might not be as glamorous as a sleek white limo, but what could be more fun than having all your friends and loved ones together, full of bubbly social lubricant, riding around in a bus with a designated driver? I say that this is a guaranteed good time, and a very safe and efficient people mover.

    Two If By Sea
    If you are getting married near a body of water, there are plenty of creative ways to get to and from the wedding site. Consider sailing in, rowing with dear old dad, or even jet skiing for the extreme wedding couple…but be logical with your sporty ideas. When I was planning my lakeside wedding, my little brother thought it would be “totally awesome” if I water-skied into the ceremony site. While I do love to water ski…did he have any idea what that would do to my dress and hair? Men.

    It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane…It’s the Bride?
    It’s not the most economical option, but if you want to make a dramatic statement you could use a hot air balloon or a helicopter to whisk you to and fro on your wedding day.

    Classic Cars
    This is an original and interesting alternative to the limo, and logistically it’s just as simple. Look on mywedding.com for a classic car company in your area, to provide fun and fancy transportation on your big day.

    Let Your Individuality Guide Your Ride
    If you and your partner have a particular interest that lends itself to a creative transportation option, go with it! If you’re bikers, consider riding a tandem off into the sunset. Motorcycle lovers? Have the groom squire his bride away in a vintage sidecar (or vice versa!). Naked rollerblading enthusiasts? Put your clothes on and take a limo, for Pete’s sake.

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    Return to the Altar: Planning Your Second Wedding (or Third, or…)

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488979

    Whether you’re divorced or widowed, if you’re getting married for a second time (or more) you probably feel like you’ve been blessed with a new opportunity for life-long love and happiness. Congratulations! Now before you cue the band to play ‘Second Time Around’(it’s a great first song for non-first-time couples), you’ve got some planning to do! Here are a few tips to help your return to the altar be as special and beautiful as possible.

    Dress
    Get your white on, girl! Yes, you can still wear that universal symbol of purity, even though the jig is up with the whole virginity thing. Actually, while white used to symbolize innocence during the Victorian age, it is now perfectly acceptable for brides of every age and degree of wholesomeness. Let’s be honest: If white were reserved only for virgin brides these days, everybody that I know would have worn hot pink down the aisle. Ivory, cream or any other shade you choose is also just dandy. Don’t think you need to “tone down” your dress to be more simple since it’s the second time around. The length and style of the dress should reflect the formality of the ceremony. If you would rather something simpler, you may want to consider cocktail length, or even an elegant pantsuit if that’s more your style.

    Invitations
    Your invitations should be worded like any other wedding invitation, depending on who’s hosting (translation: paying). With second marriages, there is a greater chance that the couple is hosting the event themselves since they’re presumably a little bit older and more financially equipped to do so. If you are hosting, the good news is that second or subsequent weddings tend to be smaller and less formal. If a couple is more mature, there is a chance that their grown children would even host the affair…that is in the unlikely event that they have chosen to get a job instead of claiming rent-free residence in Mom or Dad’s basement while they “take a break” after graduating from college a mere eight years into their diligent studies. Kids today.

    Vows
    These will probably be worded a little bit differently than original wedding vows. Click here for some ideas. Alternatively, this is a great opportunity to write your own vows, since you probably have a clearer picture of what marriage means to you than many first time brides and grooms do.

    Involvement of Children
    Depending on the ages of the children, they can be intimately involved with wedding preparations from centerpiece construction to music selection (teens will love this, but you may have to lay some ground rules so that you don’t end shaking your booty to “Get Ur Freak On” during your first dance). There are several ways to involve the children in the wedding ceremony, including having them serve as attendants, flower girls/ring bearers if they’re young, or reading a special passage or blessing. Some people include vows for children in the ceremony, but I believe that you need to tread very lightly here regarding what children of any age are asked to promise to their new step parent or step siblings. A unity candle ceremony or a sand ceremony involving all immediate family members might be more appropriate.

    Registering
    If you choose to do a wedding registry (this is perfectly acceptable, by the way), do it as you would for a first marriage and include registry information on your wedding website. However, many couples choose not to register for a second or subsequent wedding because they feel like they already own the items that they need for everyday life, or that many friends and family members already bought them gifts for their first marriage. If you choose not to register, it is still not appropriate to include that (or any) gift-giving information on your invitations. Simply use your website, or word of mouth, to spread the word that you do not wish to receive gifts.

    ‘I Do Take Two’
    IDoTakeTwo.com is a website devoted entirely to re-marriage advice and tips. You will find a wealth of useful information there. Happy planning!

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    Changing Your Name–Where to Start?

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488774

    Photography by Milton Gil Photographers – see more at www.miltongil.com

    These days, there are so many versions of the marital name-game that it can be dizzying to consider all of the possibilities. Should the bride keep her maiden name or just use it professionally? Should both husband and wife hyphenate-for-the-heck-of-it-even-though-their-future-children-will-hate-them-for-it? Do you want to stick with convention and share the groom’s surname, or totally buck tradition and have him take the bride’s? Whatever you choose, if it requires either or both of you to change any part of your name you will be required to jump through several logistical hoops in order to satisfy The Man. The whole process can be a bit overwhelming, so I have laid out a few key steps to get you going. Also, I’ve provided information about a couple of websites out there that are set up to help you get the job done efficiently. And don’t worry, because even if both of you change your first and last names to “Agent X” and move to Siberia, your Siberian Eskimo postman will have to tromp through the snow in his mukluks every day to deliver at least eight pieces of junk mail addressed to your former name. It will always be out there, and it will be offered several new credit cards daily.

    Step 1: Get married! Or not!
    You don’t actually have to fill out a marriage license to change your name, but since you’re presumably headed down the aisle anyway (or just like reading wedding advice), this is an easy way to go. For the bride, there will be a place on the marriage license to write in her new name. Depending on where you get married, there may be a place for the groom to do that also. Otherwise, he should contact a local attorney or courthouse to find out about legally changing his name.

    Step 2: Get A LOT of copies of your marriage license
    Seriously, this is going to have to be mailed out or shown to practically everyone that you’ve ever met (including most of the agencies and companies listed below) in order to get things straightened out.

    Step 3: Contact The Agencies of “The Man” This includes the Social Security Agency (1-800-772-1213), the Passport Agency, and the Agency of Waiting In An Uncomfortable Chair For Three Hours Only To Be Told Condescendingly That You Didn’t Bring The Right Paperwork With You (otherwise known as the DMV). You can change your driver’s license, car registration and often voter registration records there. Be sure to call the agencies before you show up, to make sure you bring along everything you need. (Hint: this can include birth certificate, marriage license, social security card, passport, and I always throw my 5th grade class photo into my purse for good measure…you just never know).

    Step 4: Contact anyone else who you’re involved with financially
    This includes your bank, credit cards, insurance providers, utility and mortgage companies, loan companies, frequent flier programs and, your employer or school.

    Step 5: Get in touch with Family and Friends
    You can send out a group email, especially if you’re changing your email address to reflect your new name, or you can send snail-mail cards indicating your name change. Kill two birds with one stone and include the information in your thank-you cards for wedding gifts. If you’re also changing addresses after marriage this is a good time to let them know that information too. Also, all of the above government and financial agencies will need that information as well.

    Step 6: Keep an eye on your mailbox and your inbox for the next year or so
    There may be other people or companies that come up along the way that you need to notify. Decide for yourself if you want to change magazine subscriptions (My important news magazines with headlines such as ‘Hollywood’s 100 Hottest Hotties’ still come to my maiden name…that way I can claim to the neighbors that they were delivered to us by mistake) or other mailing lists. And, as I mentioned above, the junk mail will keep rolling in to your former name until the end of time.

    Step 7: Get Help
    The website MissnowMrs.com offers a name change service that will do a lot of the legwork for you, for a small fee. Also, the steps that you need to take are laid out on ehow.com, in a much more detailed and organized way than I have done here. Finally, you can download name change forms for each state on the following website.

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    Aloha Spirit 101: An Intro to Hawaiian Wedding Traditions

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12488835
    Photography by Joshua Fletcher – see more at www.fletchphotography.com

    If you like the idea of getting lei’d at the beginning of your wedding ceremony, then a Hawaiian wedding may be right up your alley! Aside from providing infinite opportunities to make punny references to the word “lei,” there are many wonderful reasons to incorporate Hawaiian wedding customs into your ceremony, whether you’re getting married on the beach in Maui or in a Presbyterian church in Cleveland. Central to the Hawaiian culture is the Aloha Spirit, which can be loosely defined as a commitment to treat oneself and others with kindness, respect and love.

    After having lived in the Hawaiian Islands for some time, I can tell you that the Hawaiian people as a whole truly embody these sentiments, which makes the islands a magical and romantic place to celebrate your love. The pristine beaches and awe-inspiring sunsets don’t hurt, either, but the price tag can be hefty. (That’s why I got married in Montana, land of the discount all-you-can-eat meat lovers wedding buffet. “If it had a face it will be on your plate” is the state motto, I think.) But I digress.

    Here is a quick guide to some traditional Hawaiian wedding customs that will lend meaning and originality to your ceremony:

    Flowers
    The traditional Hawaiian flower lei, signifies love and respect. They are worn by the bride and groom as well as members of the wedding party. Usually there is a lei exchange between bride and groom at the beginning of the ceremony, along with an explanation of its significance. Like a wedding ring, the lei is an unbroken circle that represents your eternal commitment and devotion to one another. The beauty of each individual flower is not lost when it becomes a part of the lei, but is enhanced because of the strength of its bond. Additionally, the bride often wears a garland of flowers in her hair, rather than a veil.

    Attire
    In traditional Hawaiian weddings, both the bride and groom wear all white, and the groom wears a colored sash around his waist. It is also common these days for the groom and groomsmen to wear aloha shirts with light colored pants; while this is not traditional protocol, it is certainly acceptable and festive island attire. Let’s not lean too far in the vacation-wear direction, though: Ladies, while island style is casual, I recommend waiting at least until the reception gets going to don the coconut bras and grass skirts.

    Music
    The Hawaiian Wedding Song, Ke Kali Nei Au, is usually played during the ceremony, although it would work nicely as the first dance at your reception as well. It was originally written in Hawaiian in1926 by Charles King, and has been translated into English and covered by several artists; most notably Elvis Presley in the movie, Blue Hawaii.

    Rings & Rings Blessing
    Native to the Big Island of Hawaii, the Koa wood and Ti leaf ring blessing has a lovely meaning, and is beautiful in its simplicity. Koa is a treasured and valuable hardwood that represents integrity and strength, which are foundational qualities of a marriage. The Ti leaf represents prosperity, health and blessing of body, mind and spirit. The officiant begins by dipping a Koa wood bowl into a body of water. The leaf is dipped into the bowl, and the water is sprinkled three times over the rings while the following chant is recited: “Ei-Ah Eha-No. Ka Malohia Oh-Na-Lani. Mea A-Ku A-Pau,” means: “May peace from above rest upon you and remain with you now and forever.”

    The water signifies two things: First, washing back into the ocean, symbolically, any hindrance to your relationship. Secondly, it represents a brand new beginning as husband and wife.

    Ti Leaf and Lava Rock Ceremony
    This is another significant and beautiful part of the traditional Hawaiian wedding. The lava rock is symbolic of the moment you made a lifetime commitment to one another. It is wrapped in a Ti leaf and left at the ceremony cite as an offering, prayer and blessing which remains steadfast at the place of your marriage, marking the birth of your union, while your rings are a symbol of that commitment that travel with you wherever you go.

    Remembering Deceased Family Members
    When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we had trouble figuring out how best to honor the memory of family members who were no longer with us. I think that this is a lovely, and subtle, way to pay tribute. The Hawaiians contend that when the wind stirs at a wedding, it is the presence of their Ohana (family) who are physically absent but surround you at this moment with their love, support and blessing. This draws attention to the dearly departed with its explanation, and can serve as a pleasant and casual reminder throughout the ceremony. This method is most prudent if you’re having an outdoor ceremony or using a temperamental fan.

    The Aloha Spirit essentially begins from within, and is one tradition that can be captured whether your special day is going to take place in Hawaii or on the mainland.

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    Bachelorette Parties In Your Own Backyard

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12489055

    The Bachelorette Party, otherwise known as a “Hen’s Night” or “Stagette” or “Kitchen Tea” (this one comes from South Africa, where apparently the brides-to-be are demure and refined), is an evolving tradition during which the bride gets together with various female friends and family members to celebrate before her wedding day. For some gals, this means traveling to Vegas with 25 of her closest sorority sisters, drinking pink cocktails out of straws shaped like male genitalia, wearing a bridal veil decorated with condoms and stuffing dollar bills into the spandex g-strings of male strippers until the break of dawn. If this is your preference, more power to you; I can respect a lady who simply wants to ogle an oiled up “Officer Naughty” in Sin City before she ties the knot. On the other hand, some women are looking for local, original alternatives to the Vegas-Free-For-All. Here are a few ideas, from naughty to nice (but not in that order).

    Slumber Party!

    Remember when you and your girlfriends used to gorge on popcorn and candy while you painted each others toes and gossiped about boys all night long? I don’t, because I always fell asleep first and therefore was an easy target for the old “hand in warm water” trick. But I digress. For some of you with fonder memories of slumber parties, this is a great way to reconnect with your bridesmaids, and a chance for them to bond with one another. Think girly cocktails (penis straws are optional), plenty of sinfully delicious munchies, home spa treatments and movies that are so bad they’re good (‘Bring it On,’ anyone? Oh, it’s already been, ahem, BROUGHTEN!). The best thing about this type of soiree is that the indulgences of the evening won’t be reflected by a hefty price tag.

    Take a Class

    Novelty is a great common denominator, so this is an especially good idea if your bridesmaids don’t all know each other very well. Whether your interests sway toward cooking, wine tasting, or even pole dancing (hey, it’s a great workout) there is sure to be an interesting and fun class in your area that will be fun for your group.

    Casino Night

    I am thinking an in-house Casino Party here, but you’re more than welcome to take it out on the town if this activity is available where you are – but beware: You are much more likely to run into dirty old men if you take the Bachelorette Party out to a real casino. For some, that’s part of the fun. If you set up the party at someone’s house, try to have a few activities available (perhaps Blackjack, Roulette and Texas Hold ‘Em for starters…rules all available at eHow.com) and have guests try their hand at dealing as well as playing. This is a great idea for combined Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties too, because guys love it. The greatest part about an in-house Casino Night is that you can play with fake money. Come on, big spender!

    Lingerie Party

    For any men who have read this far into an article about Bachelorette Party ideas: No I don’t mean that the ladies spend the evening having pillow fights and jell-o wrestling in their skivvies. Sorry, go ahead and cancel that Peeping Tom session that you had started planning in your head. Actually, this is a fun way to combine a Bachelorette Party with a Bridal Shower, where the guests come bearing gifts of lingerie for the Bride. The real winner here is the Groom.

    Go Outside!

    Who says girls don’t like to get dirty? Whether it’s kayaking, camping, skiing or any number of other high-octane activities, there are plenty of ladies out there who would rather wear sneakers and chug Gatorade than sport heels and sip cosmos. (And there are some that like to do both, so feel free to hike in your Manolos, gals!) If your group is more sweat than sweet, consider taking the ladies on an outdoor adventure in your area that will bring the group together…and feel free to put whatever you like in your water bottles.

    Old Fashioned Ladies’ Night on the Town

    Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. You know what to do.

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    The Role of Roles in a Modern Marriage

    Posted by Mary of mywedding.com
    12489205

    This 1955 Good Housekeeping Article (which is currently under debate of it’s authenticy) is obsolete at best, insulting at worst, and pretty darn funny altogether. The truth of it is, however, that many of our grandmothers lived with (and up to) these expectations as wives. We may wonder how (or if) anybody actually adhered to such ridiculous guidelines; for example, I know that if my husband expected me to take off his shoes at the end of the day it had better be because he’s suffered some sort of injury or paralysis. While gender roles and marriage have changed drastically over half-century since this article was written, it still has relevance today in that it reminds us to work toward defining our expectations of one another as we embark upon the journey of marriage. From laundry duty to debt, it is important to lay it all out on the table before you rendezvous at the altar; this way there will be fewer surprises in store along the lines of, “What do you mean you never unload the dishwasher?” (This is a direct quote from my honeymoon, I’m not kidding). Here are a few issues to springboard the discussion with your bride or groom to be.

    Finances
    Even though talking about money can be kind of a downer, it is one of the most important topics to discuss before you tie the knot. These days, most of us have a dowry of debt to bring into marriage, between student loans and those nasty but glorious little plastic cards that disguise themselves as free money (until the bill arrives, that is). Between the two of you, you need to come up with a plan for paying off debt, saving, and for tackling household finances.

    Household Tasks
    Maybe you’ve agreed to divide household responsibilities fairly (this doesn’t necessarily mean equally), based on available time and work schedules, like the mature 21st century adults that I know you are. However, some people have little quirks that are best brought to light before they cause friction. I, for example, am admittedly a control freak when it comes to laundry. Somewhere along the way I became convinced that nobody can fold as well as I can, and I never even worked at the Gap. For this reason, my husband gets himself into some real trouble if he tries to help with the laundry. However, I would not argue if he actually tried putting a sock or two in the hamper.

    Family Obligations

    Juggling holidays and family visits can become complicated in a marriage, since all of a sudden when you create your own family—you each join another family altogether! Dealing with these obligations can be especially difficult and time consuming if either or both of you have divorced parents, live far from (or too close to!) family members, or have any strained relations to contend with. This can take its toll on a marriage, so set out a plan for visits and holidays that will leave you plenty of time to enjoy your own family time as a newly formed unit as well.

    Making time for one another
    This is also known as being intimate, making amore, or as I like to call it a few years and a couple kids into wedded bliss: Giving it up in time to watch Jon Stewart. Romantic, huh? The point is that once you get settled into marriage it’s true that certain things can become a little routine. However, I am not one for wrapping oneself in Saran Wrap and waiting at the front door for your hubby; instead, my advice is to simply decide how you will make one another’s company a priority, and do your best to stick to it. But hey, if you want to prioritize in a Saran Wrap nightie, more power to ya! I think that these guys sum up marital romance nicely with the power of song.

    So there you have my two cents. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put a bow in my hair and whip up a gourmet meal in my pearls as my husband is on his way home.

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