I am the mother of the bride, and we are having a small wedding.  We are limiting the guest list to immediate family and only the very closest of friends. The groom is inviting his aunt and uncle, but because they are unable to travel, he believes they will end up sending their son in their place.  But we aren’t inviting cousins.  How do I explain this is simply not acceptable?—Janice, Dallas, TX

True, the only people who should ever attend a wedding are those who receive an invitation either with their specific name, or the use of “and family” or “and guest.”  Unfortunately, not everyone follows the rules and you have to decide between being right or potentially offending the groom and his family.  And although you may not have to deal with the groom’s family much after the wedding, your daughter will.  If there is another issue with this particular family member and why he is not invited, that may be another issue.  Talk to your daughter about it and see how she feels.  But if I were you, unless there is a major problem, I’d let it slide.