To those that are most delightfully engaged: wedding season is surely full on upon us. The tree I printed out at Bed, Bath, and Beyond (eight registries–yes, you heard me right, with eight beautiful brides on my shopping list)this last weekend was surely proof of this!  Tis the season!

And what a sweet season it is, but let me tell you—the next one is just as sweet.  I remember during all that was happening during my own engagement wondering if I would miss being engaged after the wedding.  Miss all of the showers, all of the special gatherings, the planning, the anticipation, the talk of it all…  I even asked several of my married friends and I would say my answer aligns perfectly with each of theirs.  If ever you start to miss it, two things interfere that halt the missing—

1. You remember all of the stress and work and decision making that came with all of the planning.
2.  YOU ARE NOW MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!

 

 Number 2 is key for me.  Engaged was awesome.  I honestly don’t know of one more thing that could have possibly occurred during the five short months I was engaged that could have made them any more perfect, and even still… being married to my best friend and having our lives and home together wouldn’t make me want to go back to engaged for one minute.

 Now that was the kind of sweet preface I needed before writing this next part.  It’s done and known that I love my husband.  Moving on. 

To where love collides with life.   

You know all of those decisions you’re having to make right now—which font to use, what kind of plates to serve on, how to rank your best friends, where to honeymoon… I think those are put in wedding planning to prepare you for life.  All of the decisions to come.  Careers, bank accounts, insurance policies, boundaries, cleaning preferences, toothpaste removal practices.  

Enter my new theory on how marriage could be perfected.

I want to hire an ADMINISTRATIVE HUSBAND! 

The one who will talk to me about the budget and explain to me that while yes, it is sweet our kittens love the windows open to see outside, we’re losing money by air conditioning the outdoors.  The one that will make the chore wheel and monitor who actually loads more dishes. 

Because last week, Ryan and I just had one of those weeks where it seemed the little time we did get to see each other was spent either discussing something important (career decisions or banking preferences) or being annoyed at each other about the everyday stuff that just needs to get done.  (Or in our case, debating the definition of WHAT needs to get done and HOW OFTEN.  Ryan’s definition of “cleaning up” after we eat dinner:  putting dishes in the sink and brushing table crumbs to the floor.  Mine: Putting dishes in the dishwasher, using a soapy rag to wipe off all counters and table, and sweeping the floor.)

And really all I wanted to do when I had some free time with just him and me was LOVE him.  So one night when he walked in the door, I said- “Can we just forget about everything else and just be in love and excited about each other tonight?” 

And we did.  And it was wonderful.

And the applications are still out for my administrative husband. 

I’m totally kidding.  I’m not hiring another husband.  In fact, the more I thought about this theory of mine, I decided even if I could do hire someone, I wouldn’t.

The fact that Ryan and I do all of the “administrative” side of marriage things together and still come out on the other end of it holding hands really just makes us that much closer and stronger. 

I really do believe that.  To end with some wedding lingo for you brides-to-be…

I do.  I really really do.