I love reading your posts, Erica. The way you tell stories….it makes me feel like I was actually there….which of course, I was not! I hope when I get married that I am half as happy as you and Ryan, seriously…..half would be enough! I don’t know that I could ever be AS happy as you two!

So this was a super-sweet comment I received a couple of weeks ago. This comment OBVIOUSLY made my day, but it also made me feel obligated to qualify those kind words a little bit. Because if you enter marriage thinking it is ALL happy and rainbows and sugar cookies, then I would honestly feel that I HAVE FAILED YOU ENGAGED PEOPLE.

And I just can’t have that.

Literally, moments prior to me reading those sweet words from a reader, this is what was going on in our HAPPY home:

Me: Hey, Ryan, will you wait to start that movie? I really want to tell you something.

Ryan: Okay.

Me: So, I’ve had this really exciting idea for how we can…

Ryan: (turns off the only light source in the room, a lamp between our two chairs)

Me: Umm. Okay. I’m so sorry. Were you done listening?!

Ryan: What? No? I’m listening. What?

Me:  You just SHUT THE LIGHT OFF IN MY FACE. Is that really what you do when you are EAGER to hear someone’s story? You can’t even see me now!!!!

Ryan: No, I kind of can. And I can still hear you?!

Me: Really? I didn’t even know you had night vision eyes like a cat. Awesome.

Ryan: (rolling his alleged cat eyes at my rude comment)

I’ll just stop there with that moment and take you back a weekend to another night in The House of Shippmates that was two fries short of a Happy Meal.

Night #2

I come home from being gone all day SO EXCITED to hear what Ryan has planned for us, because the night before I had asked him to plan our evening (about 99.6% of the time I am the one that plans our dates). The sheer fact HE was planning it had me all sorts of excited, so much so I’d even purchased him a fun, little surprise to present to him on our date!

I walk in the door, greet him with a kiss, and before I can even inquire about our plans, Ryan lets me know that some guys asked him over to smoke cigars. BUT – oh, don’t you fear my DE friends – BUT he made sure to tell them he wouldn’t be there until 8:30, instead of 8:00 so he could “eat something quick with me.”

WHAT?!  First of all, where are we? On the Titanic and all of the men are off to the parlor to talk about their assets while smoking cigars!?

Second of all, WHERE ARE OUR SPECIAL AND AMAZING PLANS?

And third, I have many, many times expressed my serious dislike towards changing plans at SEVEN PM on a Saturday night. Not only do I live several zip codes away from all of my best friends, but GIRLS MAKE PLANS FOR SATURDAY NIGHT ON TUESDAY MORNING.

BOTH of these nights were NOT fun. Following the shared dialogues were arguments that were annoying, repetitive, loud, and FRUSTRATING.

Because, sometimes, THIS is marriage.

Now, both of those nights did end happily (MUCH LATER) but I’m not even going to elaborate on that, because rather, I want to be clear – MARRIAGE IS NOT ALWAYS HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

No matter what a crazy-amazing husband you marry, he WILL disappoint you. He WILL forget you need him to listen with his eyes. He WILL go all Titanic on you and want to smoke cigars instead of planning something sweet for you. And you WILL over-react when he forgets to listen with his eyes. And you will be hurt and say mean things when you’re being ditched for cigars in the parlor.

Sometimes, THIS is marriage.