Wedding Blog

It is absolutely normal to have a case of "nerves" before you walk down the aisle. Chances are that your anxiety (or his) will have a temporary chilling effect on your relationship, or even cause some uncomforting doubts. In most cases, cold feet are nothing more than a reflection of this tension, and the following suggestions should help you heat things back up before you say, "I do".

• Recognize pre-wedding jitters for what they are, and try not to overreact.
  If you find yourself wondering whether you can really spend the rest of your life with a man who answers the phone by saying "yeah" rather than "hello", or something of equal (un)importance-relax. Chances are, his telephone etiquette (or snoring, chewing loudly, etc.) is not what caused you to fall in love with him, and it will not lead you to fall out of love with him either. Habits that went from "cute" to "quirky" during your courtship can quickly escalate to the level of "highly irritating" when you're getting a little anxious about your big day. Unless the issues that are chilling your feet are things that detract from his innate character or lessen the quality of your relationship, trust yourself enough to know you wouldn't have said "yes" to the million-dollar question if he weren't the one.
• Talk to your fiancé before tensions escalate.
  If one of you has cold feet, it's a good bet that the other senses something is up. Now is not the time for guessing games--so spill it sister! It is important to talk before more unnecessary tension and distance is created between the two of you. Also, it will help you figure out if there's a problem with your relationship that really needs attention. Unspoken anxiety is a dangerous breeding ground for petty arguments, and these can lead to hurtful comments and other relationship downers before you know it. By voicing your concerns outright, you and your fiancé can work at putting the problem into perspective. It's possible that he is also nervous, and would welcome the opportunity to talk about it with you. This could even be an opportunity to further strengthen your bond!
• Beware of outside influences.
  You are the only two peas in this pod, even though it can certainly feel more crowded as you near your wedding day. In order to restore some semblance of peace and harmony to your wedding planning period, it may be necessary to insist that certain family members or friends…how do you say it politely…back off. When a helping hand starts to feel more like a tightening handcuff, it's time to let that person know that while you're sure their intentions are pure gold, you will be happy to take it from here. I speak from experience: During the final month leading up to my wedding, I had to issue an unofficial "restraining order" against both of my fiancé's divorced parents who began coming to me with their personal problems. I started to wonder why I was willingly joining this crazy family, and my toes began to itch with frostbite. Thankfully I remembered I was going to stand at the altar with one person, and I had chosen wisely.

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