Warning: Wedding expert exposes her true feelings. (aka: a rant)
Crystal vases, bone china, real silverware--all items you use reguarly, right? My guess: probably not. If you own china it's most likely collecting dust in your attic. My mother-in-law might be the last person I know who uses her china for dinner. Maybe it's a generational thing. As for me, I don't have the time to wonder which dish can or cannot be placed in the dishwasher. My husband and I have one set of dishes that we love and use for all occasions. Simple and easy.
And I don't think my husband and I are alone. More couples are thinking outside of the traditional registry and asking for things like: home improvement items, camping gear, handmade ceramic dishes, payment toward their honeymoon or a down payment on a house, and the list goes on. Critics say this is tacky, but… how should I say this nicely…you've got to be kidding! In my opinion, crystal bowls and picture frames are tacky. These items are often given as a formality lacking personal meaning, and are wrapped up in rules of social etiquette and status. We're finding today's couples are deciding not to register for what society says is right, unless it's what the couple truly wants and can use. Many couples say if Aunt Betty has a problem buying a tent instead of a toaster well, they'd rather not receive a gift at all!
And while we're at it, I'd also like to point out that we seem to be one the few societies in the world who have a problem giving cash to newlyweds as a gift. Many cultures flood newlyweds with the green to help them start their marriage off in the black. For many, it's seen as an act of goodwill to help loved ones buy a house or to have an actual savings account. What a concept.
When are etiquette experts going to update their tired-out, obligatory rules and adjust to the modern couple? My advice? Register for items that are beautiful and useful to you. Period.
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