It's been almost ten years since I performed the wedding for my sister and her husband. I remember flying in to Chicago the night before the wedding. The three of us created the ceremony in the car on the way home from the airport. Needless to say, it was a rather intense car ride! But both the ceremony and wedding reception went really smoothly. All the aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors and friends were appropriately moved by the event and by the vows we recited, it seemed as if the couple had a great foundation for a long and happy life together.
However, neither my sister nor her new husband really knew or understood how the other's values and habits would impact them as they lived together day by day, month by month and year by year. Many times couples, when writing their vows, don't think about the details. Wedding vows are promises that speak of our best intentions, and there are a few couples who vow put the cap back on the toothpaste tube, but most stick to bigger themes. Even if all the trivialities of life are covered in a thirty page vow, few couples will re-read their vows each morning and discuss how they can better live up to them. Perhaps that wouldn't be a bad idea. How about posting your vows somewhere to go over them regularly with your new spouse? Evaluate, discuss and re-write your promises as needed. Look at what your vows mean to you and your spouse. Let your vows guide you and help you get "good" at being married!
I Do adapts traditions and creates new options to help couples personalize their wedding ceremonies. by Sydney Barbara Metrick Buy The Book www.ChickenSoupCounseling.com
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