I love helping couples create a ceremony that reflects their personalities and their wishes. The challenge for me is when a couple has no vision, wishes or ideas for their ceremony. In this case, I start to uncover their desires with a standard interview that asks how they met, why they wish to get married, what marriage means to them, etc. The specifics include suggesting things they may wish to fold into the ceremony, like candle lighting, a wine ceremony, hand washing, honoring family, receiving blessings and a list of others.
It's great when the response goes something like, "Yes, I love that," or "Perhaps we could do the same kind of thing, only with…." Other times both members of the couple know what they don't want, but are very vague and non-committal about what they do want.
There are no rules about what your ceremony must include, other than saying you choose each other in front of a witness. If you are not having a traditional religious ceremony you can basically do whatever you want. So think about what you would like. What interests do you share? What is the same and what is different about how you grew up? What is meaningful to you in your lives? What is special to you in music and food tastes, friendships, family, community, cultural activities, and your work? Anything that is important to who you are as individuals and as a couple can be used to personalize your ceremony. One couple who were both caterers gave little bags of herbs to their guests and talked about the “spice of life.” Another couple, both golfers, used the metaphor of a golf game in their ceremony. A Chemist couple made a home brew that they shared in the fashion of a wine ceremony.
Be creative, have fun, and make your wedding memorable.
I Do adapts traditions and creates new options to help couples personalize their wedding ceremonies. by Sydney Barbara Metrick Buy The Book www.ChickenSoupCounseling.com
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