I've encountered many grooms today who are taking a more active role in the wedding planning process. Gone are the days when a bride and her mother float from vendor to vendor booking whatever they desire. Sure, for many, weddings are a bride’s childhood fantasy, but that doesn’t mean that the entire wedding has to be all about the girl! It’s time Prince Charming stands up for what can make the biggest party of his life the most awesome party of his life. Here are some examples of some creative ideas that I have seen from recent dudes I’ve photographed over the past year.
Style. There are all sorts of ways that a groom can incorporate his style into the wedding while still keeping it the wedding of her dreams. Many dudes are ditching the stuffy penguin suits in exchange for classy button down dress shirts and sport coats. It makes sense to dress cooler when most weddings occur in the blazing heat of the summer months. A clever idea is alternative shoes. Instead of the black polished dress shoes of our parent’s generation a lot of grooms are decking out the groomsmen with matching vans or converse. What results is a much more comfortable and thus happy group of guys who feel like they are dressed up for a formal party rather than a funeral.
Reception activities. Personalize the way you party. Who says the reception has to be just eating, drinking, toasting and dancing? The sky is really the limit as I discovered recently when a groom hosted skeet shooting and a motocross race in his parent’s backyard just following the ceremony. This particular groom insisted that he wanted his wedding to be a party. It was about the time I was finishing up pictures of the bride and groom when I heard shotgun fire. A couple dozen guests were lined up under the ceremonial arbor blazing their shotguns hoping to hit a flying clay pigeon. As soon as the guns cooled down a swarm of miniature dirt bikes raced around the homemade backyard track. The groom shouted orders over a walkie-talkie to the guy waving the checkered flag. As I dusted off my camera on the top of the hill overlooking the racetrack I overheard a groomsmen on his cell phone shouting, “This is the coolest wedding I have ever been to! First there were chicks shooting shotguns and now there are dudes racing motorcycles!”
Just last weekend I photographed a wedding where the bride’s mother explained that the groom had only one request for his wedding day; a cigar bar. She happily gave it to him! Sometime after dinner the DJ announced that the cigar bar was in full effect. Guests lined up and crowded around a table where an old man sat rolling fresh tobacco leaves into cigars. He rolled, pressed and wrapped at least a hundred cigars. A man in a black suit stood by to distribute and light the guest’s smoky treats. It was an unexpected surprise that left the guests and groomsmen feeling manly and really cared for.
Photography. You wouldn’t believe how many grooms I meet that tell me flat out that they are just not photogenic. In my opinion this whole ‘photogenic theory’ is simply a lame excuse for being camera shy. There I said it. Alert the press. The groom should have just as much input when choosing the photographer as the bride. If you both don’t like your photographer’s style you probably wont be 100% satisfied with your wedding pictures. It is important that the photographs are romantic and feminine at times, but it is equally important that they be rock-n-roll! Make the most of this once in a lifetime opportunity to be photographed with your best mates. To do this you and your photographer will have to think outside of the typical lineup. Help your photographer out by suggesting things that define you and your group of men. A recent groom I worked with manages a Vans store so naturally we shot all of the groomsmen pictures at the local skate park. And as you probably guessed his men were wearing black and white checkered vans.
So dudes, there is absolutely no excuse for your lack of participation in your wedding plans. Remember it is your wedding too. Be creative and think about what things you bring to the relationship to make you as a couple unique. You might not be able to pull off shot guns and motor bikes, but if there is something that you really care about I’m sure your wife-to-be will happily indulge you as you take an active role in dreaming up your most awesome day.
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