Wedding Blog

This 1955 Good Housekeeping Article (which is currently under debate of it's authenticy) is obsolete at best, insulting at worst, and pretty darn funny altogether. The truth of it is, however, that many of our grandmothers lived with (and up to) these expectations as wives. We may wonder how (or if) anybody actually adhered to such ridiculous guidelines; for example, I know that if my husband expected me to take off his shoes at the end of the day it had better be because he’s suffered some sort of injury or paralysis. While gender roles and marriage have changed drastically over half-century since this article was written, it still has relevance today in that it reminds us to work toward defining our expectations of one another as we embark upon the journey of marriage. From laundry duty to debt, it is important to lay it all out on the table before you rendezvous at the altar; this way there will be fewer surprises in store along the lines of, “What do you mean you never unload the dishwasher?” (This is a direct quote from my honeymoon, I’m not kidding). Here are a few issues to springboard the discussion with your bride or groom to be.

Finances
Even though talking about money can be kind of a downer, it is one of the most important topics to discuss before you tie the knot. These days, most of us have a dowry of debt to bring into marriage, between student loans and those nasty but glorious little plastic cards that disguise themselves as free money (until the bill arrives, that is). Between the two of you, you need to come up with a plan for paying off debt, saving, and for tackling household finances.

Household Tasks
Maybe you’ve agreed to divide household responsibilities fairly (this doesn’t necessarily mean equally), based on available time and work schedules, like the mature 21st century adults that I know you are. However, some people have little quirks that are best brought to light before they cause friction. I, for example, am admittedly a control freak when it comes to laundry. Somewhere along the way I became convinced that nobody can fold as well as I can, and I never even worked at the Gap. For this reason, my husband gets himself into some real trouble if he tries to help with the laundry. However, I would not argue if he actually tried putting a sock or two in the hamper.

Family Obligations
Juggling holidays and family visits can become complicated in a marriage, since all of a sudden when you create your own family—you each join another family altogether! Dealing with these obligations can be especially difficult and time consuming if either or both of you have divorced parents, live far from (or too close to!) family members, or have any strained relations to contend with. This can take its toll on a marriage, so set out a plan for visits and holidays that will leave you plenty of time to enjoy your own family time as a newly formed unit as well.

Making time for one another
This is also known as being intimate, making amore, or as I like to call it a few years and a couple kids into wedded bliss: Giving it up in time to watch Jon Stewart. Romantic, huh? The point is that once you get settled into marriage it’s true that certain things can become a little routine. However, I am not one for wrapping oneself in Saran Wrap and waiting at the front door for your hubby; instead, my advice is to simply decide how you will make one another’s company a priority, and do your best to stick to it. But hey, if you want to prioritize in a Saran Wrap nightie, more power to ya! I think that these guys sum up marital romance nicely with the power of song.

So there you have my two cents. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put a bow in my hair and whip up a gourmet meal in my pearls as my husband’s on his way home.