There are few brides that enter a marriage without some concerns about their new husband’s mother. The dreaded mother-in-law stigma is all too common but there are a few simple things you can avoid that will save you from repeat mother/daughter zingers that we all experience from time to time (some of us more than others!). Although these exercises started off as a tongue-in-cheek coping mechanism, once I began putting a few of these strategies into practice, I noticed that my mother-in-law’s attitude started to shift (as did my own) and a true friendship began to form. Now remember this will not happen over night. Changing the cycle takes time and effort. The bottom line is while you’re correcting these mistakes, really and truly try to learn to appreciate your mother-in-law and she will learn to appreciate you.
Mistake #1: Forget to Call Your Mother-in-Law Regularly
It’s amazing the power a phone call can have. It can do wonders or the lack of one can cause the most damage. I know it sounds like a harmless thing to forget, but you will be amazed at how much she will appreciate it when you keep in touch with her. And your husband phoning her up doesn’t count even if you end up talking to her. The goal here is to strive to have an independent relationship with her, all on your own.
Solution: If it isn’t already obvious, call your Mother-in-Law!
Call her at least once a week (pick a day, such as SUNDAY and mark it on your calendar so that you won’t forget.) You can call her more frequently such as during the week if something comes up that she might appreciate hearing about. You’re allowed to keep it short. After all, this is the beginning and beginning something new always starts slow. But don’t skip calling her if you’re super busy. Instead, aim for getting her machine, like when you know she’ll be out. That way at least she can see you’re making an effort. And effort is key.
See you next week...when I go into Mistake #2...
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