Long−term committed relationships are as common for gay and lesbian couples as they are for heterosexual couples. Over the years, I've performed a number of commitment ceremonies for same−sex couples. With the legalization of same−sex marriages in California, this is a new era for homosexual couples. After a long wait, they finally have the chance to plan their wedding. What an exciting time!
In designing the ceremony, some couples will want to follow fairly traditional lines, and others will want to include very personal statements, involving friends and family. Anything that makes the ceremony meaningful is appropriate. A ceremony is to acknowledge that two people have found each other, fallen in love, and have decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. It's a public declaration of a personal commitment and a joining of families, not to mention community.
A poem by Dorothy Colgan entitled,"My Promise of Love" sums up what is most important for any couple, regardless of sexual orientation:
I promise to accept you the way you are. I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities and outlook on life that you have, and I won't try to change you into a different image.
I promise to respect you as a person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different−but no less important than my own.
I promise to share with you my time, my close attention, and to bring joy, strength and imagination into our relationship.
I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my personal world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.
I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.
And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside, in the only way I know how. Completely and forever."
I Do adapts traditions and creates new options to help couples personalize their wedding ceremonies. by Sydney Barbara Metrick Buy The Book www.ChickenSoupCounseling.com
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