First of all, the term "Matron of Honor" (the correct term for a Maid of Honor who is hitched) sounds so…matronly. It practically smells like mothballs and no doubt keeps its teeth in a jar while it sleeps. I think it’s a title that should not be bestowed upon anybody younger than 80 and being addressed as such is as offensive as the college–age American Eagle employees calling me ‘Ma’am.’ (The nerve. I’m just trying to shop with the whippersnappers; no need for name–calling.) Can you tell that I was recently designated as a Matron of Honor, and resented the insinuation that I have a secret stash of Metamucil and Depends? For that reason, I will hereby refer to this esteemed position as “Maid of Honor” only, whether you are a sweet young single thing or a racy old cougar with a husband and kids, like myself.
Now that we have the terminology straight, let’s get down to business: What exactly does a being a ‘Maid of Honor’ entail? Here is a brief rundown of your responsibilities.
The Bridal Shower One of your duties is to host, or co–host a bridal shower. There are many possibilities here, from the prim and proper (such as a kitchen or garden shower) to the down and dirty (think lingerie and naughty toys). Remember to keep a record of who gave what gifts, or designate another bridesmaid to do this.
The Bachelorette Party Whether the bride wants to gather twenty of her closest girlfriends and hit the nearest Chippendale’s, or take a cooking class with a couple of her closest pals, it’s up to you to organize the soiree. Help her bid farewell to her single days in a fun, creative way that you know she’ll enjoy!
Help With Wedding Planning Your obligation here is to listen attentively, and offer your opinion (only when asked!) about wedding details. You must pretend that the sage vs. celadon green floral ribbon dilemma is keeping you up at night, too. The extent of your role here depends upon who else is helping with the planning. If she’s hired a wedding planner or has a motivated and organized mother, you’re in luck.
Sign On the Dotted Line Most likely, you will be asked to sign the marriage license as a witness (the Best Man will also sign). While this job requires the least amount of time or preparation, it is arguably the most important because this is the official document that makes the marriage legal.
Hold Onto Stuff, and Keep Track of Other Stuff The Maid of Honor should walk softly and carry a big purse. Among the things that you will be asked to hold onto are the Groom’s ring (before and during the ceremony; tie it to the bouquet or wear it on your thumb), and the Bride’s bouquet during the vows. Also, you should offer to collect and hold onto the Bridal Gown after the reception, if the couple is leaving immediately for their honeymoon. Keep it in a safe place until they return. Also, you should help the bride keep track of everything that she needs during her wedding day, such as make–up, jewelry and a full–at–all–times champagne glass to dull the nerves.
Crack the whip You’re the leader of this pack of bridesmaids, sister, so keep your aisle–walking troops in line. Delegate responsibilities to other bridesmaids when necessary, and make sure that they fulfill their responsibilities by coming to all scheduled dress fittings, rehearsals, and pre–wedding parties. Above all, make sure that minor problems and disagreements are not reported to the bride. She should be on a need to know basis. If you can take care of a snafu yourself, she doesn’t need to know that it ever existed!
General Care and Maintenance of the Bride No, she’s not a pet or a garden plant, but it’s your responsibility to take care of her basic needs before and during the big day. And I do mean basic, like helping her get dressed and go to the restroom (those bustles are tricky to work with!). Also, make sure that the bride eats something both before and after the ceremony. (Not during; that’s pushing it. Unless she’s taking communion, and that’s one thing that you don’t have to be in charge of.)
Toast the Couple This is optional, but if you choose to offer a toast to the couple, down that bubbly and do it immediately after the Best Man’s speech, either at the rehearsal dinner or the reception.
Off the Record… The unofficial duties that you will perform for the bride will be the most useful. Provide her with a shoulder to cry on (there will inevitably be tears at some point during the planning process), a listening ear, and a voice of reason when she becomes terrified of cold feet or her mother–in–law. Your genuine friendship throughout this time is the best gift that you can offer…well, that and keeping her champagne glass full.
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