Question
Since a popular way to hold a budget friendly wedding is to trim the guest list, should couples still
extend an invitation to a ‘new significant other’ of a close friend that’s invited?
Etiquette Expert, Claudia
Lutman's Answer:
Yes it is true; the most efficient way to produce a budget conscience affair is to limit or trim your
guest list.
The guest list is generally the most problematic when wanting to avoid hurt feelings. Everyone is excited about your wedding and culling the list has to be done with great sensitivity because you don't want to offend anyone.
Consideration should be at the forefront of all your wedding decisions. And while making these decisions, keep in mind how they will affect your family and close friends. As described above, the 'new significant other' is of a close friend of the couple. As a 'close friend' of the couple, consider how you would feel if you were invited to their wedding solo. Would you still consider yourself 'a close friend'?
Avoid trimming your guest list by preparing it with consideration and the following guidelines:
Set initial boundaries with your family. If you are set on a wedding with only 80 in attendance then those parameters should be communicated. Both families will know from the beginning that there will be limitations to the guest list. Creating these initial boundaries will avoid future confusion.
Be sensitive to your single friends. For the enjoyment of your single guests, all adults should be extended a “plus one” invitation. Your wedding is a party. Your wedding is a celebration. They would like to be comfortable and enjoy the entertainment along with you. It’s no fun sitting alone at an empty table and watching others dance and have a good time.
Most pre-wedding parties are intimate affairs made up of close friends and family. Attending a wedding celebration builds excited leading up to your wedding and provides the guest an unspoken guarantee that they will be honored with an invitation to witness your big day. It is misleading and unacceptable to invite guests to parties and not invite them to your wedding.
A guest list is fluid. It will expand and contract. However, by giving your families and friends initial parameters, you will set the tone that you will be planning your wedding with guidelines.
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