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Question
What is customary for an engagement gift? Is a gift given to the to-be bride for accepting the ring, or is a gift given to the to-be groom for proposing, or both?

Etiquette Expert, Claudia Lutman's Answer:
Generally speaking, gifts for an engagement are not required, and thus, should not be expected from the engaged couple. Traditionally, after an engagement commences, it is customary to send a congratulatory note; however, as an affectionate gesture, you may provide the engaged couple with a gift at any time after the engagement is announced.

If you decided to give a gift, the gift is given to the bride or groom in the context of celebrating their upcoming marriage, but not for the giving or receiving of the proposal or ring. In the event you decide to ship your gift, you should address it to the bride (jointly, if you are aware that the couple is already living together) and mail the gift to her home before the wedding.

Customary engagement gift ideas include (but not limited to):

• Give something for their home: candlesticks, a vase, picture frames, wine glasses, etc. Note: Save the household appliances for the shower.
• A special item to be used during their wedding: cake knife and server, champagne flutes.
• A fabulous bottle of wine or champagne.
• A gift certificate to their favorite restaurant so that they may take a break from wedding planning.