
Chinese marriage is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involve a marriage established by pre-arrangement between families. Within Chinese culture, romantic love was allowed, and monogamy was the norm for most ordinary citizens.
Three Letters
The marriage is initiated by a series of three letters.
1. The request letter is sent from the groom's family to the bride's family, and formally requests a marriage.
2. The gift letter accompanies the gifts of the groom's family to the bride's family shortly before the wedding.
3. The wedding letter is given on the day of the wedding, officially accepting the bride into the groom's family.
Six Etiquette
(I) Proposal: When the couple have decided to get married, the groom's parent will locate a matchmaker whose job was to assuage the conflict of interests and general embarrassments on the part of two families largely unknown to each other when discussing the possibility of marriage.
(II) Birthdates: If the potential daughter-in-law's family did not object to the proposal the matchmaker would then compare the couples' birthdates. If according to Chinese astrology the couple is compatible they would then proceed to the next step.
(III) Bride price (Betrothal gifts): At this point the bridegroom's family arranges for the matchmaker to present bride price (betrothal gifts), including the betrothal letter, to the bride's family.
(IV) Wedding gifts: The groom's family will then send an elaborate array of food, cakes, and religious items to the bride's family.
(V) Arranging the wedding: The two families will arrange a wedding day which will bring the most luck to the couple, again based on the Chinese calendar mythology.
(VI) Wedding Ceremony: The final ritual is the actual wedding ceremony where bride and groom become a married couple, which consists of many elaborate parts:-
- Wedding Procession: The wedding procession from bride's home would march to the groom's home. The procession consists of a traditional band, the bride's sedan, the maids of honor's sedans (if there are maids of honor), and bride's dowry in the forms other than money.
- Welcoming the Bride: The wedding procession of the bride's family stops at the door of the groom's home. There are ceremonies to be followed to welcome the bride and her wedding procession into the groom's home, which varies for locale to locale.
- Actual Wedding Ceremonies: Equivalent to exchanging vows in the west, the couple would pay respect to the heaven and earth, paying respect to the groom's parents, paying respect to each other and also presenting tea to elders. The younger generation (E.g. cousins, nephews and nieces) will also presenting tea to the couple as respect.
- Wedding Banquet: Is sometimes far more important than the wedding itself. During the banquet , the couple will present wines to guests from the stage by the word of 'Yam Xing'.