She's perfect, and the person you see yourself growing old alongside. You've bought the ring and planned out the perfect proposal. All that stands in your way is talking with her parents and getting their blessing for the new union you're envisioning. While approaching your beloved's family might induce panic, there are definitely ways to make that conversation go smoothly. Here are 9 tips to help you prepare for the big discussion before you propose.
- Do it in person. If at all possible, make this a face-to-face meeting. If distance makes an in-person meeting impossible, try for a Skype call first, and, barring that, a phone call. Just don't do it by text message!
- Call ahead. Don't drop by unannounced and expect that your future parents-in-law will be ready to hear you out. They might have had a long day at work or they might have other plans. For something this important, you want to ensure that they are in the right frame of mind and aren't rushing to get out the door.
- Keep things positive. Even if your fiancee doesn't have a perfect relationship with her parents, or you're expecting a less-than-stellar response to the news, you'll want to go in with a smile on your face. Don't mention any negativity that might hang between you and her parents, or her and her parents. Focus on what you came to do.
- Be respectful. You and your sweetie are likely well into adulthood, so you may think that asking for a blessing is unnecessary. Despite your grown-up status, it's still crucial to remember that respect and politeness will get you far--especially in a stressful situation like this.
- Have several talking points. Don't expect to wing this talk. Her parents will look to you to guide the conversation, so know what you're planning on covering while you're there. A bit of preparation on your part will help you feel more confident as well.
- Bring the ring! They will want to get a sneak peek of their daughter's new piece of jewelry. Indulge them and bring it with you. Plus, showing them the physical proof of your pending engagement will help them realize how serious you are.
- Know about your future plans. No matter what stage of life you're in, you need to know how your future fiancee fits into it. Share your educational, professional, and personal goals with her parents, and how the two of you will make those goals happen together.
- Remind them how much you love their daughter. They loved her first, and they'll want to make sure she's found a mate who adores her just as much. Sharing a few of your favorite things about her will solidify your devotion to her.
- Be prepared for the questions they have for you. After you declare that you're going to propose to their daughter, her parents are sure to have many, many thoughts and questions. How are you going to pay for the wedding? Where will you live? Do you want kids? You're likely to have to field those and more, so be patient, take a deep breath, and take them one question at a time.