Here's a little 'history' on the Exchange of Gifts tradition ...

The modern families usually send both the intial gifts and the formal gifts to the bride's home on one day instead of separating the two events. Most families still need to consult the Chinese calendar to pick a 'good day' which is normally about one month before the wedding.

Instead of sending the whole list of gifts such as livestock, certain 'good-luck' food or material, some couples simplify the gifts and the groom will only send some nice gifts such as dried seafood and fruit basket to the bride's family.

As for the 'monetary gift', the groom will either pay a certain agreed amount to the bride's family.

As for ours, it is just for the sake of keeping with the tradition. We have relatively simple gifts for each side - fruit baskets & wine!!

Jen & I attened the Catholic Engaged Encounter No. 64 (9th - 11th March 2007) at College General, Penang. Since there's so much to write about this programme ... I will break my post into parts. (This post will be very long and I will try my best to be as detailed and as objective as possible)

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Overview of the programme.

This Catholic Engaged Encounter is a programme designed specially for couples planning to get married.

This programme is a weekend programme where couples are required to stay in for the weekend. It starts with couples registering and cheking in at 7pm on Friday night. Upon registering, a small fee of RM250 per couple must be paid. Of course, couples wishing to attend must register earlier and forms for registration can be collected from their Parish offices.

Couples who have registered can then go to their rooms ... different rooms of course!!! For our weekend, my room is at Level 3 and Jen's room at Level 2 of Block B.

Light refreshments are given for those who had no opportunity for dinner. The programme stats immediately after that. There are 3 Presenting Couples - Christ & Lina Baptist, Bart & Angie Cheah and Patrick & Eunice Cheah. The presenting priest for our session is Fr. Ambrose Vaz from Singapore. Other support teams are - Daniel & Stella Chong (Public Relations Couple), Peter & Elizabeth Chow & baby Zachary (House Couple), Alphonsus & Rebecca Chua (Supply Couple) and Ivan Ho & Alene Yong (Prayer Couple).

The entire programme is mainly presentation by the 3 presenting couples and the priest. Every session is conducted with the presence of the priest. We are are required to take down some pointers given, and after each session, questionairs will be given to us. We are then required to answer these questions separately and then later given time to discuss these questions with our partners.

This programme is a very special programme because each couple will also be adopted by another couple who has completed their CEE. The purpose of this adoption is so that the couple who has completed their CEE can pray for the couple attending the CEE. Church Masses on Saturday and Sunday will also be offered for the couples atteding the CEE.

The programme is actually quite hectic (starts at about 7.30am and end at about 11pm daily)since there are so many topics to be covered and tonnes of questions to be answered and discussed. There is a short Mass on Saturday morning and a longer Mass on Sunday evening, at the end of the session, together with the presentation of the certificate. There is also a special prayer session (from 10pm to 11pm) on Saturday night. This is the time when everyone who knows about the CEE and also our adopting couples will pray for us. A CEE candle will be given to each couple. There is also a confession session (for Catholics)after this prayer session.

Programme ends with a Mass, presentation of our certificate (1 per couple), group photo and high tea.

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My views of the programme.

Overall, I think the CEE is a good programme. There were a lot of topics discussed ... such as finances, sex, children, communications, etc. I would say that some of the topics are general and of course, being a Catholic programme, it also touches on the Church's view on marriage and some issues.

I must say that this CEE gives us an insight of what married life would be. At least, it allows us to talk and discuss issues that Jen & I would not or might not have thought about it.

Do I like this programme? Well, I do not like this programme and neither do I dislike this programme. But somehow, this programme made me realise that although there are similarities between me and Jen, we also have our differences.

Perhaps I should be grateful that this programme actually made me realise our problems before it is too late. Although we talked about it, compromised and settled it, somehow, part of me felt that it is not actually settled as what we assumed it to be. I suppose to truely settle this problem would take a hugh sacrifice on either one of us.

But all in all, this programme is beneficial and I would recommend all the engaged couples to attend this programme.