Q: OK, what's up with this website? Is it real or is it some sort of joke? Is any of this information true? What if I really just want to know what time to be at your wedding and which highway exit I need to take so I get there? What if I don't want to do a Mad Libs puzzle? Not that I don't like both of you, but I have better things to do with my time than read three different versions of the story of how Jeremy proposed. Good grief, all I wanted was to know if there's a block of hotel rooms reserved or not.
A: Sorry. Maybe we got carried away with this website thing. Yes, it's real, and, yes, it's some sort of joke. Maybe. Wedding websites just all seem a little bit ridiculous anyway, so why not be extra ridiculous and hopefully funny, no? You don't need to do the Mad Libs if you don't want to. Nobody's checking. And -- thanks in no small part to your question here -- we've added a page called "Boring Information" where you can find out everything boring all on one page. It's in the sidebar. Go to town.
Q: I actually like the web page--
Q: --I wasn't finished. I had a question too.
A: Oh. We didn't mean to interrupt. Go ahead.
Q: No, I think it's a little rude for you to interrupt me while I'm giving you a compliment about your website. Forget it, I'll go to someone else's wedding instead. I'm popular, you know -- I was invited to three weddings the same day as yours, and I was going to go to yours but now I guess not!
A: Well... maybe we don't want you there after all.
Q: Well... maybe you should, because I'm a really good dancer and whenever I take one of those personality surveys online and they ask about whether I'm good at inspiring my friends to try new things, I always check yes and the specific example I think about is whenever I'm at a wedding I'm always able to motivate everyone at my table to get up and dance. So without me, your wedding will be no fun.
A: Somehow we doubt that.
Q: Anyway, in case I change my mind and decide to come, here was my question: the website doesn't say anything about dress code. What should I wear to the wedding?
A: Normal wedding clothes.
Q: What? Is that Jeremy answering? Why are you letting Jeremy answer questions about clothing? Nina, what should I wear to the wedding?
A: It's semi-formal.
Q: Oh, okay. Thanks.
A: You're welcome.
Q: Say I'm coming from New York City and don't have a car. How can I get to the wedding?
A: Harlem line to the Mount Kisco station, and then a short taxi ride from there. 56 minutes from Grand Central.
Q: Harlem? Really?
A: No, it's just called the Harlem *line*. Our wedding is not in Harlem. Mount Kisco is nothing like Harlem. In fact according to Wikipedia, really, Mount Kisco is nothing like Harlem.
Q: Are you sure? Because I'll be carrying my fancy purse and don't want anyone to steal it.
A: No one is going to steal your purse. Well, hopefully not. (Legal disclaimer: this is not a guarantee.)
Q: That's not very reassuring.
A: Sorry. Always be aware of your surroundings.
Q: How long will the wedding last?
A: Five hours. There will be cake.
Q: I like cake.
A: Us too.
Q: Any more questions?
A: Shouldn't we be the ones asking that?
Q: Oh, yeah, you're right.
A: Yeah. Enjoy the rest of the website.