Bryan's Story

So how do you propose to a girl who knows it is coming within a certain time frame? She waited so long and had been so patient with me that it needed to be special. It just had to be over the top. But since she had waited so long, I promised her with all my heart that she would have a ring on her finger before the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve, 2007. She knew it was coming. People have called me coniving, decietful, underhanded, cocky, plotting, twisted and mad, to the point where I have come close to making the FBI's most wanted list. All of this is true.

So, my little buxom blonde needed to be thrown off-guard. Distracted by a small explosion so she didn't see the big bomb coming. December 8th, 2007, the plot was cooked and a great plan was set into motion. Knowing that I was taking my sweet baby out to dinner at Gengis Khan Mongolian Grill, I whipped up some fake fortunes, you know, the kind you find in your post dinner cookie. The ring was purchased and I went to pick her up. We went out to eat.

Now, let me set this up a bit. Everytime we go out for mongolian food, we always fight over the fortune cookies after dinner. Melissa, burrowed deep in her own snotty behavior, routinely grabs a cookie off of the plate. I always respond by saying "That's my fortune. You are going to be sorry." She either licks it or opens it right away and shoves it in her mouth. I always say "you blew it, sister. Cause what if my fortune says "I must marry you tonight?" or "your boyfriend must propose to you tonight"? " Melissa would always just shrug her shoulders because in our hearts we both knew that fortunes are never that specific or that personal. Or...are they?!

Tonight, it was going to be different. When she so snidely grabbed the first cookie off the plate, I began the routine as always. I said "I promise you, you are seriously going to regret picking that cookie! You are going to be sooooo sorry!" She of course, being the classy girl she is, licked it so I couldn't have it. I told her "That's a HUGE mistake. You really shouldn't have done that!" While she was opening her fortune, I took a fake fortune out of my pocket and pretended to open my fortune cookie under the table. She read her fortune outloud and it said "Be sure to pamper yourself". "Not bad" Melissa said. I casually pretended to read my fortune and then proceeded to grin the biggest cheshire cat grin I have ever grinned. I looked at her and I exclaimed "I told you! You blew it!!" I handed her the fake fortune that read "Your boyfriend MUST propose to you tonight otherwise you must dump him!!" I wish everyone that I know could have been there to see the look on her face when she read the fortune. She looked like Ralphie in A Christmas Story when Santa tells him "you'll shoot your eye out kid!" "NO!" she screamed. "That's MY fortune! I have been waiting for it! I earned it!!" "Oh no!" I yelled back "I told you that you were making a huge mistake! You blew it! You were so snotty and so grabby, you scooped up the first fortune like you always do and you've ruined it! Now I can't give you this!!" I proceeded to pull the ring box out of my coat pocket and she looked at it, doing a double take. It was everything I hoped for in a reaction. She had that 'I just pooped myself' look and her face. She didn't say a word. It's the first time she's been speechless since the day I met her. I smiled at her and said "This is it! This is the real deal! You better say yes!" She barely said another word for ther next hour. My diabolical plan had worked completly. She was thrown off kilter just enough. She has always been a person who thinks she knows everything, that's why I am the perfect man for her because I am always looking for ways to show her she doesn't.

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