A less attractive version of me. He is my younger brother.

To give you an example of how the younger brother is always trying to out-do the older brother, and will until the day we die, I will use whiffle ball for my opening arguement. There is no doubt that Tim is a much better baseball player than I am. However, stick us in a backyard playing whiffle ball, with a wheelbarrow tipped upside down for an extra-large strike zone, and suddenly it's Bryan-town! When I play games, I cheat. The vaseline on the bill of my cap is only there to psych him out because his emotions are like fragile little egg shells. The grey tape on the whiffle ball will indeed make it curve 100 feet to the left but the real kicker is my wad of bubblegum tucked inside of the ball that makes it flutter about, rendering it completly hitless.

You see, my brother is smarter and better at baseball...but I'm slimier and sleazier..and always will be.

I am the King of Chong! What is chong you ask? That's the sound the whiffle ball makes after I lob it 50 feet in the air and it connects with the wheelbarrow for a devastating strike. CCHHOONNGG! The true beauty of that pitch is that it takes an hour for it to reach the wheelbarrow. During that time Tim would have at least six or seven chances to decide whether or not he wants to swing at it. He would of course, always make the wrong decision. He would either swing too late..or watch the ball catch the handle of the wheelbarrow for a devastating steeerike threeeeeee!

I love my taller Little Brother. I wish we still had time to play. I miss it.

What can you say about a guy who has fallen asleep in a kilt, on a toilet, thinking he was taking a dump? I mean really...what does that say about a person when you are so drunk that you think you are taking a crap...and you really aren't! At least I hope he didn't..because neither of the toilet seats were up!

And the amazing thing about that was...he didn't spill one single drop of either of the beers he was holding! Now THAT is a skill you will only find in people who have gone to Wazzu for 11 years!

I have seen him in a bar, ordering a beer for himself, when he's already holding two!

And I've seen him so out of it that he actually used bad pickup lines on a Playboy pinball machine! (Hey..sometimes people get desparate at 2AM!)

You couldn't ask for a better friend. If you ever need him for anything, he'll be there. It's just if he says he'll be there in 20 minutes, give him 45!

In all honesty though, I don't know where I'd be without my buddy Grant. When I was ranked number one on the raido, he was my friend. When I was broke and going through a career change, he became an even better friend. When I went through my divorce and my credit got trashed, he helped me invest in a house. He's the kind of friend that you can tell anything. If you're ever in trouble..(and Lord knows we've gotten in a lot of trouble together) he will help you...no questions asked. That's what a true friend is. No questions asked.

"10lbs 3oz!" the nurse shouted. His mother, who was under the effects of anthestia, actually cracked an eyeball when she heard that as she laid on the operating table. She said, "You did this to me, you @#%$&*!" Upon hearing that, the anthesialogist said quote "ou! Lets give her a little more, shall we?!" and then cranked the gas on high.

A lot of people don't know this but I never planned on having any kids. I always thought I was too self-centered and unreliable. As it turned out, I now have a son...a wonderful son...to TELL ME how self-centered and unreliable I am! But if I am as self-centered as he says I am, than I probably would have written something like..."He's a less attractive version of me"...but I am not going to say that.

No matter how big he gets, I am always going to remember him and treat him like he's that 10lb 3oz lump of "stuff" that came screaming into our lives many years ago. And he was screaming and bawling out of the shoot. Trust me. My sources are very "reliable".

Let's get something straight. Matthew is not one of my Best Men by default. There are a lot of bloggers out there who think that he got the job just because he's Melissa's little brother. That's not true.

I have him in the wedding because I need someone to keep Melissa in check. After almost 9 years of togetherness..I have absolutely ZERO control over her mood swings and dominating personality. And after the vows are final, I will have even less power than I do now. :-(

So, Matt is there to help me survive this fateful day. And once we're joined in holy matrimony..I'm sure there will be times when I stumble in the door at 3AM to face my rolling-pin carrying wife! That's when I will be calling on Matt to blow up the inflatable matress at his house, so that I can come over and drink beer and hide for awhile. Because that's what brother-in-laws do. We cause problems in the family.

Unfortunately for Melissa, Matt likes me better than her. So I know, that my new brother-in-law and good friend, will always have a cold one for me, along with an extra blanket or two out in the garage. Just in case those special times go awry.

What's the true test of friendship? Let me say just one thing and then you'll understand why I think Bryce and I are destined to be friends for the rest of our lives. He's a die-hard Seahawks fan...AND I'M A STEELERS FAN!! That's right. I'm Darth Vadar. I'm the Joker from "The Dark Knight". I am the man in the ski mask who wants to break into your house and steal your money, your wife and your daughter. Being a Steelers fanatic, I represent all that is evil to Mr. McComb. And yet...we are best of friends.

We share the same vision of someday owning 51% of Las Vegas and a couple of those "massage parlors" you hear so much about.

Plus, I really admire this guy. He's probably the biggest "player" on my list of felons here. Bryce could get laid anytime and anywhere. He could get laid and score with a chick if he was in a morgue with no other living people around. As a matter of fact...I THINK HE'S DONE THAT!

One time while on a road trip with Grant down to San Diego, Bryce ended up getting this wierd sunburn or "jelly fish infection" that left the most bizarre red patch on his arm and shoulder. It looked like he had a map of "Italy" seared onto his skin. It was the most unattractive thing I've ever seen. And yet, he was able to score with a gorgeous girl all weekend. If I was a girl, I would have made him go through a series of blood tests before I hopped in the sack with him. But not this chick! She slept with him MULTIPLE times!! And then she stalked him!! He couldn't get rid of her! This is truly an amazing guy! And a great friend.

Watch out ladies. You don't stand a chance.

We call him Bo "Bet It All" Bodrak. Bo is by far the best boss I've ever had. During my time as an on-air radio personality, I had many annoying Program Directors and self proclaimed micro-managers always telling me how to do my thing. To be honest with you, I hated them all. I really did. I like to be my own boss. And they were all idiots.

But Bo is different. He was the first employer that helped me rather than hurt me. He made my job easier. That's the way it's supposed to be! And at the time of this writing, I am currently one of his Officers at Providence Medical Center. Nothing has changed. He's always there if you need him, but he allows you to do your job. And if he has a suggestion for us, I personally am always glad to listen and offer support. That's because I know he would be there for me. He's the boss..but he doesn't use his authority to make you feel insignificant. He's not power hungry.

That's because I think his wife Colleen beats him when he gets home each night! It keeps him humble.

And outside of this work relationship, there is a great friendship. If I didn't have a goal to someday own all of Las Vegas, then I would probably work for Bo the rest of my days.

One word of caution: Do not challenge Bo to a drinking contest! Even when he's leaning almost backwards about ready to fall over, he's just setting you up for a swift kick to the sugar plums. There are rumors that one time at the Hilton, Bo drank a couple of Marines under the table and then accidentally stepped on their tongues walking back to the bar to order another round!

Be sure to say hi to him. He'll be in the lounge.