Melissa was born on March 5, 1982 in San Diego to proud parents, Dante Cawagas Valdez & Luisa Macabunga Valdez. She is the youngest of four (siblings Donna, Glenn, and Dante Jr.) and has lived her whole life in San Diego. She graduated from Morse High School in 2000 and from there continued her education at UCSD. In 2004 she earned her B.A. in Psychology with a minor in Ethnic Studies. Realizing her passion for psychotherapy and counseling, she decided to continue on to graduate school at SDSU. In 2007 she earned a Master's degree in Counseling with an emphasis in Marriage & Family Therapy. In her hopes to become a licensed psychologist, she currently attends the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University. She is pursuing a Doctorate degree in Psychology with a Marriage & Family Therapy emphasis and plans to graduate in 2011. She works for the County of San Diego in the Health & Human Services Agency. She hopes to promote into a Mental Health or Social Worker position while she attends grad school. She has been dancing hip hop for the past six years in addition to working and going to school, and dances with 220 Second to None Hip Hop Dance Team. She enjoys babysitting her twin niece and nephew, traveling, and spending time with her loved ones.

I had seen Bernie around in the high school competition circuit but I didn't really know who he was. I knew he was on Mira Mesa's all male team, but that was about it. My junior year in high school we went to Mira Mesa for (I think) their second annual high school competition. Bernie happened to be our tour guide that day. I remember he cracked some lame joke but I still thought it was funny. I didn't meet him that day. I'm not even sure if I remembered his name.

My freshman year at UCSD me and my friends decided to go to 220's dance workshop just "for fun". The Mira Mesa all male guy was there again. Dude that guy could dance. Even though me and my friends had the audition routine down pretty well, we decided not to try out. The next year I saw the Mira Mesa guy at random UCSD events for 220's dance performances, but I still never met him.

Fast forward to 2002, I just started to really get into hip hop dance and went to the auditions at Mesa College for their dance performance class with some friends. Low and behold the Mira Mesa guy is there. He happens to know my friends Nick & Dars so they chat a little before we leave. I was sweaty and gross from dancing so I kind of stood behind Dars. Needless to say, I still didn't meet him.

It turns out that I end up taking the class by myself because Dars didn't do the audition and Nick is just in and out of the class. For some reason I can't get this Mira Mesa guy out of my head, maybe you can call it love at first sight. I just knew that there was something about this guy; I could tell he was special. Not only was he an amazing dancer, which is the first thing that really caught my eye, but I could just tell that there was something unique about him that made me want to get to know him. I could tell he was passionate about dance & he just seemed like an all around good guy. Because I'm so shy and I wasn't sure the best way to go about this, I asked Dars to put in a good word for me. It was interesting that around this time I started to see him more often. He randomly showed up at UCSD every now and then, one time was after I had a UCSD twirl flag performance. I was kind of embarrassed that he might have seen me perform, but I decided it was a good opportunity to re-introduce myself. So I just went over to say hi and that was that.

With the help of Nick and Dars we started to hang out on group dates or just friendly hang outs. The first real one was when Bernie came down to the 'hood and went to Dars' friend's birthday party. Another time we went to Vonna's house for one of our family dinners. I think we worked hard to build our friendship first & found out we had a lot of common beliefs and interests. And so here we are today! I am very blessed that Bernie was introduced into my life, and now we are building our life together.

July 19, 2005…The day that changed my life forever. It was on this day that I let Mel know I would love her forever.

The Trip
To celebrate my graduation from UCSD and to kick off another summer of traveling, Me, Mel and a group of friends, Sean V., Vonna, Sean M., Ria, Tristan, Samie, Glenn, Cassie, Nick, and Dars set out to Hawaii. This was our second trip to Hawaii in two years (we went the year before for Mel’s graduation from UCSD). I knew that this second chance for us to go on vacation to Hawaii was a rare occasion. I felt because of this unique situation, it was a sign, and a perfect opportunity to propose to Mel. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Mel and I always wanted the way I proposed to be special, an event that my family and friends could witness. Upon researching special places in Hawaii for vacation purposes, I ran into this website that had a camera that captured a live feed from the Duke Kahanamoku Statue on Waikiki Beach. This live feed got me thinking about how I can get everyone at home who could not make the trip witness the proposal. I knew timing was the most important thing. The time in Hawaii is 3 hours behind San Diego and therefore if I wanted everyone to be able to witness the proposal, I would have to coordinate the most probable time for everyone to be home and on the computer in San Diego with the perfect time to propose in Hawaii. After spending about a week on our trip, I figured that 5pm Hawaii / 8PM San Diego would be the best time to do it.

The Ring
One of my best friends and best men, Mervin helped me pick out the ring. Mervin worked at a jewelry store and knew what to ask for and how to look a diamonds. I knew that Mel wanted a princess cut diamond on either a platinum or white gold ring, and of course I knew she wanted what all women want, a big diamond. After looking at a couple of rings, there was this ring that I kept looking at. The setting design looked like a tulip with the center stone in the middle of the tulip and the smaller diamonds on either side of the center stone. If you know Mel, you know she loves tulips. I knew this ring was the one. Mervin looked at it under magnification and agreed. After some negotiation between Mervin and the salesman, Mervin got the final price of the ring dropped a couple hundred.

Now transporting the ring was a totally different situation. I knew from our first trip to Hawaii that there would be metal detectors and baggage checks and that I would be helping Mel with her bags and therefore there would be no way I could carry the ring in any of my bags because Mel would be right next to me throughout the whole trip. I trusted the ring to one of my groomsmen, Sean Memije, to hold for the whole trip till the day I proposed. I trusted him to keep it secret and to take care of the ring. On the day I knew I would be proposing, I asked him to put the ring in the bottom of my back pack, which I carried around when we went walking around Waikiki Beach. I had a feeling throughout the trip that Mel had no idea of the package that Sean was holding for me, or that I was going to propose on our last day in Hawaii. Everything was working to plan.

The Big Moment
On the night before the big day, I decided to take the moped that I rented on a midnight cruise around Waikiki Beach for one last time. There was a lot on my mind and I had to have some alone time. I wasn’t nervous like I thought I’d be. I ended up at the Duke Statue and walked around. The statue is located right off the main street, Kalakaua Ave. at the entrance to the main section of the beach just north of Kuhio Beach Park. I spotted the live feed camera on the lamp post across the street from the statue. I walked up to the statue and looked up at Duke Kahanamoku. In a manner resembling how I prepared for any other intense moment in my life, I didn’t say any words, but just tried to soak in equilibrium of the moment. The sounds, the smells… I wanted to remember this moment, and mentally prepare. I went on one knee, as I would do the next day, and said a prayer to God to keep my nerves under control. After I was done and headed back to the hotel. I had this reassuring feeling that everything would be ok. I got back to the hotel and everyone was sleeping. I pulled out Mel’s laptop and emailed friends and family the link to the website with the live feed camera. I instructed everyone to be on the computer at 8PM San Diego time on Tuesday July 19th for a greeting from Hawaii and a big surprise.

The plan for our final day in Hawaii was to break off into the couples and spend some alone time doing whatever you wanted. We were to meet back at the Duke Statue to take pictures at 4:50PM. We broke off and Mel and I walked the strip of Kalakaua Ave. which lead to the Duke Statue. There are a bunch of shops on this strip which included a Coach store. To most, this store does not make much of significance, but to those who know Mel, this was a big deal. When we reached the store it was 4:45PM, 5 minutes to the meeting time. Sure we were less than a block from the Duke Statue, but with everyone back in San Diego expecting a big surprise at 8PM San Diego (5PM Hawaii) I knew there was a high chance we would be late. Much to my enjoyment (sarcastically stated), Mel didn’t hesitate to look around the store, and at each bag and wallet. I looked at my watch and it was already 4:55. My phone was ringing nonstop, and I kept telling everyone who called to stay on the computer. We’ll be making an appearance soon. I didn’t want to rush Mel for it would be a tragedy for her to be mad right before I proposed. So I let her do her thing, but reminded her that the others were waiting at the statue for us. Well she finally reduced her selections to two bags, and asked me the rhetorical question of which one she should get. It was rhetorical because it didn’t matter what I said, she already knew which one she wanted. Knowing this, and knowing we were running behind schedule, I chose the bag that was in her left hand. Of course she chose the one in her right, but at least we had made our way to the register. She paid for the bag and we were out of the store and headed to the Duke Statue. My phone was still continuously ringing, but I was more concentrated in getting to the Statue in hopes that there might be people still online watching. Once we got to the statue we were greeted by all the other couples. I asked who would be first for the pictures and they all replied that they had already taken pictures and it was me and Mel’s turn. I figured the word had gotten out to the couples what was about to happen. The moment had come, so I took a deep breath. We positioned ourselves in front of the statue and waived to the live feed camera. Then, pretending to look for my camera, I went on one knee to open my back pack. The ring was supposed to be at the bottom of my back pack placed there by Sean Memije that morning. All it would take was for me to reach down to the bottom of the bag and retrieve the ring. I’m not sure if Mel was paying attention, but when I opened my bag to supposedly look for my camera, there it was, the camera on the top of everything else my bag, in plain sight. Noticing this, I then shoved my hand as fast as I could to get the ring, but when I got to the bottom I didn’t feel the ring. I felt the box containing the ring box containing the ring. I almost panicked, because Mel now noticed the camera I was supposedly looking for right at the top of my bag. But with a big of maneuvering I managed to open the box with my one hand and turned the box holding the ring box upside down. I felt the ring box slide into my palm of my hand. As soon as this happened, I felt a rush, like I knew it was time. I looked up to her and said “You know I’ll love you forever.” She said of course and smiled. As soon as I saw that smile I knew it was time. I took the ring box out of the bag and opened it. I ask if she would marry me. In shock, Mel stood there in disbelief. Then she asked in her shy way, “Where did you get that?” She was shocked. She kept asking “Where did you get that?” I got up off my knee and asked, “Was that a yes or no?” She realized she was in a daze and snapped out of it. She said yes and the rest is history.

The Video
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6765412172080600038&hl=en