Okay, I guess it’s only fair to give MY side of the story. First, I want to make it clear how very happy (and lucky) I am that Lisa agreed to marry me. NO, she is not standing over my shoulder as I write this either.
Lisa gave a description of the weekend we got engaged, but it really goes back a bit further. We had discussed the idea of getting married in general terms. We had even discussed rings briefly some time back.
First issue, timing is everything. Lisa and I joined my father Art, Phyllis, Margot and her boyfriend Bobby, Sean, Erin and Andrew on a weeklong cruise. Lisa and I had by then discussed marriage, but I had not even begun to look for a ring. I gave it thought, but decided the cruise would not be viable for a few reasons.
1. Lisa has had the opportunity to get to know my family in Florida, but she had not met my mother Valerie. It just did not feel right proposing to a woman who has not met my mother.
2. Rushing to buy a ring would undoubtedly result in a less than stellar outcome.
3. Then there’s the “What if she says no” factor. She is stuck on a cruise with my family un what would amount to an uncomfortable situation.
We go on the cruise and fun was had by all.
So the question comes in, when?
Our birthdays are both in late July, but then the whole meeting my mother aspect comes into play, so that still does not work.
Christmas, New Years Eve, Valentine’s Day – I apologize for anyone who may be offended but those days are just way too Cliché’.
My mother and I spoke and she decided to make a trip to Florida. She planned to rent a condo or a couple hotel rooms in South Beach. However, being that she does not fly well, she would NOT come down until our Hurricane Season was over. So November it was.
I came to the conclusion that this would be an ideal timeframe. It was far enough before Christmas to not fall into that holidays gravitational pull. I started working on locating and purchasing the ring. All I can say to that is “holy cow.”
During this period I had spoken to my father to let him know my general intentions. I guess I just wanted his counsel, one of those father/son moments. As time got closer, probably a few weeks before the trip to South Beach, I confided in him and Phyllis what I was planning specifically. They both said congratulations and gave their wholehearted approval. For the record, and completely unsolicited, Phyllis had offered to me her hope and approval that I marry Lisa sometime shortly after we returned from the cruise. My father offered me only two pieces of advice concerning my intentions.
1. Make it between us alone, do not do it with others around. I had already decided this part, but it goes to show how much he and I are alike.
2. This one was certainly vital, he said to me “remember, after you ask, make sure you wait for an answer”. I didn’t realize at the time how correct that advice turned out to be.
Phyllis made me promise to show her the ring when I got it. I told her I would make every effort to get to them and show the ring before we left for South Beach. Due to a variety of interesting issues, I wasn’t able pick up the ring until the day before we were to leave. I picked it up and literally drive straight to my father’s house to show him and Phyllis the ring.
So on Thursday we go to South Beach for a long weekend. We met my mother my step dad Mike at a restaurant in Miami for Cuban food. This was the first time Lisa had met them, thankfully all went well, not that I had any doubt.
Here is where it gets interesting. I am the only one there that knows what I have planned and that I have the ring in my pocket. When we all get back to the hotel and talk for a while, the discussion eventually turns to marriage and rings. It was of course my mother that directed it that way. Well she decides to go on and on about the ring and how it’s vital that the woman be involved in picking out the ring, etc….. We discussed going to the Miami Diamond district to look at rings, again with her commenting about how the woman needs to be involved. I love my mother but if she could have read my mind it would have been ugly. HEHE.
Friday night, the night Lisa mentions in her story, I gave it thought. My mother and Mike knew the deal by then, but I did not want to tell them to “go away” while we walked along the beach. Also as mentioned by Lisa, I tried to break away for a few minutes, but that idea went down in flames.
Saturday morning. That was quite honestly as close to improvisation as possible. I woke up and decided “NOW.” It was clear that the only truly perfect time is when Lisa and I are alone, nothing else matters. Lisa describes well how it all went down from there. It is very funny how my father’s advice ran through my head when I asked her to marry me and make me the happiest man in the world and her response was “I have to call my mother.” I had to stop her and say “Hey, I’m waiting for an answer, my father told me to make sure I wait for an answer.”