For the purposes of this website (and my “self preservation” ☺), I won’t share my dating follies prior to meeting Mindy. Most of the details are irrelevant other than to say that our story begins with Shane’s prediction that I would meet my future wife in Arizona. Had I known that Shane had been in the fortune telling business I would have heeded his advice much sooner…

…I hate dating. Absolutely hate it. In the words of Chris Rock, ‘you don’t date someone when you first meet. You date their “agent”. It’s weeks before you even meet the real person.’ This was not the case when I met Mindy on an online dating site in May 2005. She had posted a beautiful picture of herself, and after reading her bio, I knew I had to meet her. I wrote her the longest email I had ever written, my life history, my dreams, my fears, my passion for all things, and she responded with a brief response.

This continued…

I would write, and she would reel me in with a brief response. And then one day, it ended. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She fell off the face of the earth. The last thing I remember telling Mindy was that I would at least like to show her around Arizona (as friends).

….Chirp...Chirp….

So, the fall season rolls around, and I decide to scrap the whole online dating thing. I had met my lifetime quota of psychopathological women, and decided I would become a monk in the Himalayas. I was clearing out my dating “inbox” and I came across Mindy’s profile for the last time. I wrote her one last email.

“Mindy, I imagine that you’re in Arizona by now. I hope the move went well. I really enjoyed our conversations [I wanted to add, “as brief as they were”] and I hope that we might meet sometime now that you’re in town. I’m closing out my account, so my contact info…..blah blah blah……and maybe we can in person. If not, take care and I wish you the best.”

I liked the last part the best. “If not, take care and I wish you the best”……it was my way of saying, “if not, you should feel terrible that you never contacted me when you got into town like you said you would”. I got a call the next day, and I didn’t even know what to say. She told me she was dating some guy. Great.

I suggested that we meet for ice cream later that night at Cold Stone Creamery in downtown Tempe. I somehow felt like it was a date even though it wasn’t a date. I parked and as I was walking to Cold Stone, I got a call from Mindy that she had just parked. Then I saw her across the street on the phone. I waved over my head like I was trying to land a plane. As Mindy started to cross the street I fell in love with her, and I knew she was the one. Yes, I realize that this potentially puts me in the stalker category, but I just knew she was the one. My future wife.

After exchanging an awkward hug, we walked to get some ice cream. I tried to play it cool, but the most random things kept coming out of my mouth. We finally got to Cold Stone and she initially ordered a cheesecake ice cream, only to find out that her favorite flavor “birthday re-mix” was back on the menu. I offered to eat her cheesecake order so that she could eat her birthday ice cream thingy.

This is the part of the story that, for lack of a better descriptor, sucks.

So we carry our ice cream prizes over to the outdoor seating area in front of Starbucks and talked about our lives and our families. I had to remind myself not to be psycho and tell her that I think she’s great and that we are going to get married one day. Instead, mid “this-is-not-a-date-conversation” I made my first mistake. I asked Mindy if she found me attractive. I needed that little glimmer of hope despite the fact that she was dating some other guy. I held my breath.

“No. I’m sorry.”

Ouch.

So I chalked my future wife up to be just a friend, but somehow or another we got engaged.

[[Mindy says that I’m writing too much so she’ll tell the rest of the story]]

The end.