KRA: Key Responsibility Areas
We have both been privileged to be part of the wedding party a number of times already and we're also guilty of not knowing the official duties of the roles we've portrayed. Here are a few guidelines we've lifted off several websites so you guys won't go through the limbo we've been in during ceremonies and reception parties.
Hope this helps somehow. There's a short quiz before the ceremony! LOL!
MOH (Maid/Matron of Honor)
Maid of Honor Duties
As the Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor, you have one of the most important roles in making sure the bride's and groom's wedding is a success. Many times the groom will not help out as much as the bride would like which is why your role is so important! Below we have listed some of the top maid of honor duties to make the process more manageable and creative:
Pre Wedding
Help in going with the bride to look at different locations for the wedding.
Help the bride choose her wedding invitations as well as possibly address the invitations if she needs your support.
If the bride needs help in ordering and choosing decorations and favors, your opinions may be helpful in making decisions for narrowing down choices and making sure the decorations are in on time for the wedding, shower and bachelorette parties.
Go with the bride when she is shopping for her wedding dress as well as the Bridesmaid Dresses. It is helpful for you to attend the multiple fittings in giving your friend some feedback in how the dress looks and fits.
Many times the groom does not want to go to register with his bride-to-be. You can be very supportive by going with your friend to register for her wedding gifts..
Help the bride in the seating arrangement. Note: It is very helpful to bring this drawing to the wedding just in case there are any mix-ups, you will save the day!
Host and Plan the Bridal Shower as well as the Bachelorette Party!
Help keep order and organization with the other bridesmaids.
Attend and help out during the rehearsal dinner.
Field messages for the bride and her family to make sure you are up on any changes (especially if they are last minute changes that affect the other guests).
Attend all bridal fairs with the bride as well as cake and catering tasting.
Wedding Day
Make sure the bride arrives to the ceremony and that she has everything on the Maid of Honor Checklist that we have created to make your life easier.
Assist the bride in getting into her dress and makeup.
Be the messenger if the bride wants to communicate messages to the family or groom so you are always up on what is going on.
Visit the reception room and party room (if possible) to make sure there are no problems or issues.
Help make sure the bride has privacy if she needs some quiet time before the ceremony.
Be the witness in the signing of the marriage license which is an honor!
Help the bride with her veil and train (if she has one). I have seen many weddings where brides have tripped on their train which takes away from her experience for a moment.
Be your friend's "right-hand-woman" at the altar. She may be very nervous and you can be the calming source with your presence.
Keeper of the brides bouquet during the ceremony.
Keeper of the groom's ring. I
Make a toast and/or speech during the wedding party since it is tradition and most people love hearing these friendship stories!
Make sure you lock up the bridal/groom money bag after the bride and groom dance with all of their family and friends so someone does not steal or pick it up by accident.
Last, but not least, provide moral support and be a great listener throughout the process since it is a very wonderful and "positively" stressful time for your friend. You can really make the difference!
Too often, the duty of "straightening/fluffing" the Bride's dress is overlooked. If the Bride is staying on a level, straight path, then this can be done before her descent down the aisle. However, if she is turning, or stepping up steps and/or turning to reach her destination, then the Maid/Matron of Honor should first adjust her train before accepting the bouquet to hold. This is most easily done by holding the train at points about (2) feet apart, and gently "shaking" the train (as if shaking a rug!) one good time, and it will fall beautifully in place.
Best Man
The best man plays a very important role in the wedding. While he may not be as involved in the wedding plans and preparations as the maid of honor is but he does participate in his own way. The groom is less likely than the bride to feel that it is very important to have his best friend in on every decision so the majority of the responsibilities of the best man take place either at the wedding or in the few days prior to the wedding.
Organizing the bachelor party is one of the biggest roles that the best man plays in a wedding. This party is typically a night for the groom and his friends to share one more night of bonding before the wedding. While bachelor parties used to take place exclusively on the night before the wedding and involve large quantities of alcohol and women of ill refute the modern best man tends to venture away from tradition in planning the bachelor party. As one of the closest friends of the groom, the best man is able to choose a time, location and activities for the bachelor party that the groom will enjoy.
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Another role that the best man plays is to supervise and coordinate the groomsmen. The best man takes on the responsibility of ensuring that all of the groomsmen are aware of when they need to be somewhere and what they need to be doing. Taking on the role of coordinator for the men in the wedding party unburdens the groom of this task. The groom no longer has to worry about making multiple phone calls every time there is a slight change of plans.
During the ceremony the best man lends his support by standing beside the groom in a display of solidarity. The best man also safeguards the rings during the ceremony until they are requested by the officiant. This is imperative because the groom is likely to be nervous and may forget where he put the rings for safekeeping.
One of the most important responsibilities of the best man is to offer the first toast to the bride and the groom at the reception. In this role the best man is not only offering his sentiment to the new couple but he is also expressing the feelings of all of those in attendance. While everyone at the reception may wish to convey their feelings of good will, it is the best man who is able to do so publicly.
In general the role of the best man is to support the groom and to act in the best interest of the groom. Although there are certain responsibilities such as planning the bachelor party, safeguarding the wedding rings, coordinating the groomsmen and offering the first toast at the reception, the biggest role of the best man is to be a friend to the groom.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
*The groom delegates fitting sessions for ushers and groomsmen to best man so that he is the only has to be concerned about his own fitting session.
*The best man attends pre-wedding parties.
*He attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
*He assist the groom with dressing for the wedding.
*The best man transports the groom to the ceremony location.
*Make sure the groom arrives at the wedding location on time! (around thirty minutes in advance)
*Make sure the groom looks his best before walking down the aisle.
*Guide the groom to his position during the ceremony.
*The best man makes sure that the envelope with the officiant's fee is delivered after the ceremony or at the rehearsal.
*During the processional he either stands at the front with the groom or proceeds ahead of the groom. He walks with the maid of honor in the recessional.
*The best man is responsible for safe keeping of the bride's wedding ring until it is time for blessing and exchange of the rings.
*Arrange for backup transportation in case there are problems taking the bride and groom from the ceremony to the reception.
*Help the photographer gather and organise the guests for the group shots.
At the Reception
*He mingles with the guest at he reception.
*He dances with the bride and with the maid of honor.
*If there are any special greetings to be read (from those unable to attend), he reads these to the couple.
*The best man assists the groom with the tossing of the garter by encouraging the single men to take part in the activity.
*Liaise with the headwaiter regarding the bars, seating arrangements, timings, etc.
*Make sure that the waiters circulate all areas of the reception venue with food and drinks.
BM (Bridesmaid)
Bridesmaid Duties
As a Bridesmaid you have a strong supportive role you must play during the entire wedding experience. Although the Maid of Honor may be there for the bride, your friend will also need your comfort and opinions as well (in most cases).
Pre-Wedding
If the bride asks about helping her with ideas on where to have the wedding, help her with scouting around and going to the different places. It may be a great idea to drive so she can focus on each location.
If you have great penmanship it is always nice to volunteer to address at least some the invitations if the bride agrees.
Make sure to pick up your bridesmaid dress in a "reasonable" amount of time in case of additional fittings.
Help Plan the Bridal Shower with the Maid of Honor as well as the Bachelorette Party!
Be a good communicator with information. Many times information prior to a wedding does not reach everyone.
Attend and help out during the rehearsal dinner.
Wedding Day
Assist the bride in getting into her dress and makeup
Ask if the bride needs anything (food, water, etc) all the way up till the time she is walking down the aisle. She will really appreciate it!
Assist the other bridesmaids on where to go and timing, especially if they show up late.
Assist the guests to their seats and be social prior to the wedding. The guests love to see the bridesmaids and groomsmen out and about.
Take some deep breaths and walk slow when you walk down the aisle since it is common to speed up. If a groomsman walks down the aisle with you, make him refrain from talking or fooling around.
Always look for the unexpected since it is common for the most uncommon things to happen (i.e, something falling down at the alter). If you are close enough, fix what needs to be fixed so the bride, groom and their families can focus on the ceremony.
If you are single, make sure to mingle and have a great time at the party! It is mandatory to catch the bridal bouquet :)
If you are with your partner, make sure to dance and socialize since it means a lot to the bride and groom (when they have time to sit down) to see their friends having and creating a good time for themselves and the other guests.
Last, but not least, Provide moral support and be a great listener throughout the process since it is a very wonderful and "positively" stressful time for your friend. You can really make the difference!
Make sure to take lots of pictures at the reception, wedding procession and aftarwards. Many forget to take pictures and the bride and groom will appreciate them!
