
耶和华神说:“那人独居不好,我要为他造一个配偶帮助他。”(创世纪2:18)
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18)
耶和华使他沉睡,他就睡了;于是取下他的一条肋骨,又把肉合起来。耶和华神就用那人身上所取的肋骨造成一个女人,领她到那人跟前。那人说:“这是我骨中的骨,肉中的肉,可以称她为‘女人’,因为她是从男人身上取出来的。”因此,人要离开父母与妻子连合,二人成为一体。(创世纪2:21-24)
So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:21-24)
初识:
2006年的春天,我记住了邝燊宇这个名字。没有什么特别的原因。仅仅是因为,在那次教会的春季退修会中,我们两个同时受洗归主。在一份即将接受洗礼的弟兄姊妹名单中,我第一次知道了“燊”这个生僻字。
再遇:
2007年的春天,在牧者的鼓励下,我参加了北大学生团契的春季短宣,到另一个城市去传福音。燊宇也是团队中的一员。在昏暗的火车上,为了躲避人群的喧闹,燊宇换到了我对面的位子上。我记得那一夜是我们第一次交谈,也是那几天的旅途中我们唯一的一次谈话。我说:妈妈为我取名字时,写下“霜打红叶叶更红”的诗句,这就是“朱叶”的涵义。燊宇于是感叹道:你们家人真有文化。我想我对燊宇最初的印象--他惊异的表情和广东味的国语--就汇结成了这一感叹句,绘声绘影。仿佛清晨荷叶上弥散的雾气最终聚成一滴露珠,我无意间采下,装进了记忆的瓶中。
那一个春天,燊宇已经拿到了美国的录取通知书,即将远行。由于不在同一个地方聚会,直到他离开,我都几乎没有再见过他。而我们在彼此的生命中也不过是记忆高阁上所陈列的众多名字中的一个,偶尔提及,或能想起一张似曾相识的脸。
重逢:
2007年的圣诞,燊宇回国,来到北京探访教会的弟兄姊妹。我们之间的传奇就从这一天起华丽丽地拉开了帷幕。一切的剧情都已写在神的剧本中,而我们,只要在特定的时间、特定的地点,按照神所预备的方式,出现。
燊宇受另一个身在美国的姊妹之托,送东西到5单(我主日聚会的地方)。而许久不来5单的他那一天早上托着厚重的行李,找不到路。好不容易遇到其他的弟兄姊妹带他过来,却已经迟了,他只好悄悄坐在为迟来的人预备的小房间里。5单的聚会分上下午两堂,我在下午堂。那一天,我因为下午要弹琴而提前过来预备,由于到的太早,上午堂还没有结束,我只好进去小房间等。神这一切煞费苦心的时间铺陈终于促成了我们的见面。我一开房门,看到燊宇,十分惊讶:这个人怎么突然回来了?于是我坐下和他闲谈,他因而知道了我正在申请出国,并且申请了他的学校。上午堂结束后,我去练琴,燊宇过来问我要了联系方式 (那一张小纸片后来成为了他《每日灵粮》的书签)。忙碌中,我无暇再和他说话,也未曾注意到他离开。
如果没有姊妹托付,他不会来5单;如果他没有迟到,他会坐进大堂听道,因此不会遇见我;如果那天不是我弹琴,我不会上午就到,因此不会遇见他;即使我们遇见,若是在大堂,我们会和熟识的人寒暄,而不会和彼此说些什么,那么他也不会知道我在申请他的学校,也更不会问我要联系方式。
短暂的重逢,和一个不熟悉的弟兄、姊妹,任谁都不会再忆起,也无人预期有什么续集。然而在神的时间,这仅仅是前奏,随后画个休止。当祂的指挥棒再度举起,宏大的主旋律才开始讲述一个精彩的故事。
相知与相恋:
2008年的春天,暖雨晴风。从初破冻到芳菲节,气温不断上升,我和燊宇对彼此的认识也不断加深。我一直在清心等候神领我来到我所属的那个人面前,但是我不曾想到那个人竟是在千里之外。
早春的某天,我意外地收到燊宇的电子邮件,询问我申请的进展,自此,我们开始越来越频繁地联系。我发现燊宇是一个爱主爱人的好弟兄,他一直在为我的申请祷告,并且关心着国内教会的众弟兄姊妹们。而我在Space上胡乱的涂鸦也成了他更多了解我的一个展览橱窗。
其实在2007年底的祷告中,神就已明确地告诉我祂要带领我来到Wisconsin-Madison,因这是祂为我预备的最好的选择,这当然也是我最想要的结果。只是我的信心软弱,不敢确定,也因为申请和毕业的忙碌而心里常常没有喜乐。奇妙的是,燊宇在他的祷告中也清楚地看到了神要引领我来到Madison。申请的过程在神手中成为了对我生命的塑造,也成为了燊宇和我在祷告中彼此扶持的契机。在收到录取的前一天,由于等候结果的焦虑和一些突发事件的冲击,我的信心挣扎在最低谷。我在脆弱的深渊向神哭泣,同时也隔绝和任何弟兄姊妹的联络。然而神是不离不弃,祂使用燊宇给了我莫大的安慰。那一天,燊宇看到我在Space上面的哭喊,一直等我在MSN上出现。久等不至,他终于按捺不住拨了国际长途来。我不接手机,他就打寝室,直到我拗不过接了电话。燊宇陪我在MSN上说话,直到我情绪平静,重获信心,那时他那边已经是深夜3点。燊宇告诉了我他祷告的结果,预言明天我就会收到录取。我知道他是一个敬虔的基督徒,绝不会说假预言,而且他的祷告和我的祷告得到了同样的答案。自然,第二天早上,录取通知就已经躺在了我的邮箱里。神是信实,祂的应许不会落空。
这一次的陪谈,不仅使我们属灵的联结更加紧密,神也为我们的关系发展预备了全新的注解。
燊宇一向是一个冷静的弟兄,不太容易感情外露。然而这一天是一个例外。他一直执拗地打电话直到听到我的声音,确定我平安。也正是在这一次的通话中,他说出了这一段时间一直困扰他的一件事:圣经教导我们要爱人如己(love your neighbour as yourself),可是这一次,他很困惑爱人究竟要到怎样的程度,因为这个neighbour是一个姊妹。然后他列了一个等式在对话框里:her==chrissie。意即,我就是那个姊妹。并且他告诉我,他知道如果神为他预备一个妻子,她必定是愿意与他一起为福音的缘故受苦的,因为他隐约看到未来的某一天,神也许会差他到异国他乡去全职宣教,那将是一场奉献生命的属灵争战。这一次谈话影响了我一生。我对神幼小的信心经过层层考验又长高了身量,而燊宇的困扰也迫使我来到神面前,再一次寻求祂的心意。
在申请风波平息之后,我才终于让混乱的大脑平静下来,也才终于又想起了燊宇的那个等式。经过慎重的考虑,我决定以圣经原则为依据写一封恳切的信给他:我相信神若要他进入婚姻,必为他预备一个最适合他、蒙神喜悦的妻子,她必愿意为福音的缘故受苦,愿意和他一起将一生都摆在十字架前。我并不知道那个姊妹是不是我,然而我愿意向神祷告,使我明白神的旨意,也希望他继续在主面前祷告、交托、顺服神。
之后的一个月,我们继续在聊天中增进相互了解,也继续在祷告中等候神。我知道让燊宇这样一味地等待不是一件轻松容易的事,然而我们都深知婚姻是神所设立的,唯有顺服神的引领才能进入合神心意的关系。我们也都深信忍耐等候的人必不至羞愧,因为“耶和华以勒”(耶和华必预备)。
一个月后,4月30日,我终于得到了神的回应,确定燊宇正是神为我预备的!于是我欣然给了燊宇肯定的答复。在来到美国之后,我读了燊宇在那段时间的祷告日志,知道神真的没有为我挑错人。因为燊宇绝不是凭人的血气而来爱我,在他表白之前,他就已经在祷告中得知我是神为他预备的妻子,而神也要他在我祷告的那一个月中耐心等候,直到我说Yes。
神真是奇妙。我们同在一个教会的时候,甚至互不相识;及至两人天各一方,神却以我们不能想象的方式将我们联结在一起。
团聚:
2008年8月,我终于飞越太平洋,来到美国和燊宇团聚。想象着即将见到他,我心里忐忑不安。毕竟,我们从真正认识、彼此了解到开始恋爱都是在网上进行的,从来没有真正面对面近距离接触。但是,在主里,我可以有平安,因为是神引领我们,神也必预备一切。
在美国的这一年,我们有了更多机会在一起,彼此磨合,也在琐碎的生活中学习神对两个人关系的期待。人的爱总是有限,唯有靠着从神而来的爱,我们才能拥有真正幸福和谐的关系。因为神的爱是无条件的爱、牺牲的爱、舍己的爱。“爱是恒久忍耐,又有恩慈;爱是不嫉妒,爱是不自夸,不张狂,不作害羞的事,不求自己的益处,不轻易发怒,不计算人的恶,不喜欢不义,只喜欢真理;凡事包容,凡事相信,凡事盼望,凡事忍耐。爱是永不止息。”(哥林多前书4:3-8)我们没有谁能够爱人像耶稣基督爱我们那样深,因祂爱我们以至于死。婚姻是神的赐福,也是神用以打磨我们的工具。在未来的日子里,我们还需要在神面前继续谦卑,领受圣灵的浇灌,使我们能够成为彼此的祝福,也使我们的家庭成为荣耀神的器皿。
婚礼:
“愿得一心人,白头不相离”,是所有女孩子对爱情的美好憧憬。而今,我可以抛开世人的疑惑,笃信“死生契阔,与子成说,执子之手,与子偕老”并不是无法触及的雾里花、水中月。人心对至善至美的思盼总不敌人性的虚假与诡谲,苦心孤诣的自我修为终成一句喟叹:“圣人,吾不得而见之矣”。然而,因着耶稣基督的死里复活,黑暗权势我们都已胜过。被人手所毁坏的伊甸园中的一切都因十字架上的救赎而得以冲破堕落罪性的藩篱,在日渐颓败的世界中,遥望见天国的影像。婚姻也在神的国度返璞归真,因为神起初所设立的婚姻就是一男一女、一夫一妻、一生一世。我们有从神而来的宝贵应许,我们不会胆怯。2009年春天,我和燊宇将在神面前宣誓结婚,一同营造一个合神心意的家庭。愿我们的家福杯满溢,愿我们的家成为神福音大能的见证,愿我们的家能够一生侍奉耶和华。
亲爱的朋友,我们热切盼望你来参加我们的婚礼,愿你从我们的故事中感受到耶和华神的怜悯和信实,愿你和我们一起分享耶和华长阔高深的爱。
愿上帝祝福你!
Chronologically I don't have any reason to put this before honey's Chinese version. And thanks to her consideration of my poor Chinese, she took good care of the Chinese part well enough to amaze me.
It was a couple days ago when I talked to Yuki, my high school friend. She mentioned that I might probably be among those "earliest birds" who fly into a marriage life among our high school alumni. I hadn't realized that before. But yes, last time I came back to China, when I met my friends in Guangzhou, marriage was a word too far away from me. However, before I left Guangzhou, I told a friend of mine, intuitively, that things might change!
It did! But not the way I'd expected. Just as honey said, it was so amazing that we were able to talk to each other in the only chance I went to 5dan. Before that, she's no more than a quiet girl in my memory. However, I happened to know that she's been applying for several schools including Notre Dame. Although knowing nothing about Mendoza (the name of Notre Dame's business college), I could still think of something a brother can do, like prayer and encouragement. So we left each other's email address as anybody would do. However, I did smell beforehand the hardship she would have gone through before our Father reveals His reward to her.
After coming back to school, when my email life returned to normal, I replied or wrote to new contacts as usual. Therefore, I was able to find out before long that Notre Dame rejected the application. Yet, I appreciated her faith and hope in Him in this failure in the beginning, though I didn't know the promise she had from Him about Wisconsin then. Not long after that, an interview from another school appeared to be some hope. She asked for my prayer as to a brother. However, I felt from my prayer that this might not be a success, and our Lord seemed not to let her depend on other material before the final award. I dared not tell her my thought, but just kept encouraging her before we faced the fact. Things seemed not to go any better.
But the exciting moment came, Wisconsin finally sent her an invitation of interview. Finally. The test of faith was not an easy one. Plus, at the end of the test, the questions were not at all easier. Right before she got the final good news (though we weren't really that confident before that) she was in a really down mood and something unhappy rendered her to the nadir. And I? I was not as calm down as usual.
I understand. Rome was not built in one day. From our conversation and what I read of her writings, I came to know more about my versatile and sentimental sister. (Sorry, two words is far from enough to describe my beloved half.) I came to appreciate not only her being knowledgable in literacy and music but also hardworking as a daughter in her family. Moreover, her faith demonstrated in her difficult times was such a nice testimony to our Father. Hmmm, maybe "secret admirer" is applicable for describing this guy. But, on the other hand, I thought, "she deserves a great brother to treat her well, but, I don't think I'm a good brother." So, I kept telling myself to put it down. But I kept doing so because I could not!
So I finally couldn't handle this diffcult situation and told God about it, and I asked Him to make a "deal". As I've been having the vision that my life should end up with a mission, I asked Him that my other half should have the same vision as mine if we are to be one. So I could wait and be patient...
(to be continued)