In the faraway state of Alaska, Tait had just turned nineteen and earned his real estate license. After making a few sales in his family's real estate business, he received his parents' blessing to attend five different conferences on the East Coast during the summer. Eager to learn all he could, he began preparations to travel east for the Witherspoon School of Law and Public Policy, Vision Forum's History of World Conference, American Vision's Worldview Superconference and several other similar conferences.

On the other end of the country, in sunny South Carolina, the Fitzhenry's were excitedly making plans to provide music for American Vision's Worldview Superconference in Toccoa, GA. Lauren had just turned eighteen, and no one had any thought of a young man coming on the scene in the near future.

However, the Lord had other plans....

It was May 26th, nearing the end of the conference, and Lauren was on her way to meet Leslie in the cafeteria line. Tait, also heading to lunch, decided to open the door for the young lady who seemed to him to be in a hurry. Lauren, however, thinking Tait was in a hurry himself, and not realizing he was holding the door for her, breezed right through the other door!

That was the beginning of everything, and the rest is history! We'll go ahead and fill you in on the details, though.

Tait made some joke, and joined Lauren and Leslie in line. A friendly discussion on the 14th Amendment was begun while they were waiting, between Lauren and Leslie and some other people their family had met at the conference. Tait joined in, thinking "Wow! These girls are actually interested in the 14th Amendment!"

After lunch, Lauren remembered another little anecdote on the legitimacy (or lack of legitimacy) of the 14th Amendment, and stopped by Tait's table on her way out of the cafeteria to share it. There followed an hour-long conversation between us and another conference attendee, which lasted right through one of the lectures. ("Oh my! He's from Alaska!")

We talked a few more times in passing - passings which may or may not have been orchestrated by Tait. (He says that they were.) That evening, he called his parents, telling them about the young lady who was interested in the 14th Amendment. Shortly before Tait had left for his conference tour, his dad told him, "Tait, I believe that you are ready for marriage, and that you are capable of providing for a family in the next year or two. If you meet the right young lady, you have my blessing to pursue her."

The next day, Tait asked Lauren if she had any performances over the summer that he could come to. Not suspecting a thing, she replied no, that she would be away at music camp for several weeks, but her siblings had a few performances back home in Charleston. Tait walked away, and it was only then that Lauren realized it was a rather interesting question for a young man from Alaska to ask a random young lady from South Carolina. Then the thought completely left her mind.

Tait made a point of noticing who Lauren's father was, joined a group of people he was talking with, and introduced himself. Right after the conference ended, he invited himself along to listen to a few pieces played by the Fitzhenry's family ensemble, and then was invited out to dinner. Whenever the Fitzhenry's meet anyone at a conference, they normally extend an invitation to come down and visit them in Charleston. Tait was no exception to the rule, but no one expected to see him again, him being from Alaska and all.

Lauren's parents were quite impressed by the confident, sharp young man they had just met, and commented to that effect. He had made a favorable impression on every member of the family, in fact, Lauren included. But she had no suspicion whatsoever that there was anything but general friendliness behind his interest in her family.

Soon after saying goodbye to the Fitzhenry's, Tait noticed a strange pain in his side, and mentioned to his parents over the phone that he wasn't feeling well. After an agonizing, sleepless night, he caught a ride down to Atlanta with some other conference attendees. Planning on boarding a flight for a visit back to Alaska the next day, he checked into a hotel and promptly collapsed on the floor. There followed a pain-filled ambulance ride, and a miserable week's hospital stay. Unbeknownst to him, his appendix had burst a couple of days before. During that trying week, his mind went back to the spectacular young lady he had met, and he determined to take the Fitzhenry's up on their offer to come down to Charleston.

Lauren, Leslie, and their mom were sitting and talking one day, when Mrs. Fitzhenry mentioned that there were only two young men she had ever met that she would consider as suitors for her daughters. It is very unusual for specific people to be mentioned this way in the Fitzhenry family, but their identities came as no surprise: one was Tait, and the other was a young man at least 10 years Lauren's senior (who was later married, by the way).

An e-mail from "the guy from Alaska" was received soon afterwards: "I will most likely be taking you up on your offer to visit you in Charleston." So, Tait rented a car after Vision Forum's Faith and Freedom Tour in July, and drove the eight hours from Virginia to Charleston. If there was any suspicion in anyone's mind of his interest in Lauren, the fact that he came down when she was away at music must have dissipated it immediately. His reasoning, however, was that observing Lauren's family, specifically her mother, would tell him a great deal about Lauren herself.

Coming down, Tait wasn't sure how - or even if - to proceed. He knew that the young lady he had met at the conference was exceptional, but did not know her or her family well enough to even begin to determine if Lauren might be God's will for his life. During his week-long stay with the Fitzhenry family, Tait diligently sought God's will on whether or not to proceed. Tait's father recommended that Tait ask Mr. Fitzhenry's permission to talk with his daughter over the phone. An extended car trip with Mr. Fitzhenry followed. The whole way, Tait was waiting for the right timing to ask permission. On the way back, after much anticipation, Tait asked Mr. Fitzhenry's permission to talk with Lauren. Permission was granted, and Tait was filled with excitement to make that first call.

Lauren, still at music camp, received a call from her mom informing her that Tait had asked and received permission to communicate with her via phone and e-mail. She didn't quite know what to think; while she knew that Tait was an extraordinarily godly, intelligent, articulate young man, and that her parents approved of him, she wasn't sure that she was interested in him as a potential suitor. Somehow, though, there was a sneaking suspicion in the back of her mind that she would fall in love with and marry this Alaskan.

He decided to e-mail first, to kind of break the ice, but the only problem was that, with all of his traveling, finding an internet connection proved to be a challenge. During a lecture at one of the conferences, Tait wrote down “Tait and Lauren Zimmerman” in his notebook, just to see how it looked. Finally, after arriving at his grandfather’s house on the Chesapeake Bay after the conference, Tait had internet access! An e-mail soon arrived in Lauren's inbox.

While working with Mr. Fitzhenry one day, Tait took advantage of a lunch break to ask for that permission. Mr. Fitzhenry said a quick yes, and Tait thought, "Wow, that was easy!" But after talking with his wife, and after all of the implications of his decision began to sink in, Mr. Fitzhenry began thinking of the situation more seriously. Lauren was not quite nineteen, and the idea of her moving towards marriage with a young man was very new and strange.

The next afternoon, Tait was sitting by the kitchen working on real estate while Mrs. Fitzhenry was cooking. She expressed the thought that three to four years should elapse before he could start courting their daughter. Tait had been so excited the night after he got the initial permission from Mr. Fitzhenry that he could hardly sleep. This new thought came as a shock, and Mrs. Fitzhenry remembers the immediate surprised and downcast expression on Tait's face. Lauren walked in at that moment, and the sudden silence alerted her to the fact that something was going on. She had not yet been informed of Tait's conversation with her dad, so she was virtually clueless at that time.

After some confusion, wherein several conflicting thoughts were expressed, Mr. and Mrs. Fitzhenry and Tait sat down and talked. One of the first issues discussed was that of provision - could this young man provide? Tait expressed his confidence that this would be made possible in the near future by means of his part in his family's real estate business. Next, they dealt with exactly what courtship is. After agreeing on a definition, Tait was asked what time frame he had in mind. Not surprisingly, his was rather shorter than the Fitzhenry's.

At this point, things again became somewhat confused. Tait came away from this talk with the impression that he would be beginning a courtship with Lauren with permission to correspond. He was seeking God's will in heading towards marriage with two conditions from Lauren's parents: first, that the Fitzhenry and Zimmerman families would meet in the near future; and second, that Lauren would visit Alaska prior to engagement. An additional qualification was that Tait was not to outrightly attempt to win Lauren's heart until the families had met.

It was after Tait returned to Alaska that Lauren was informed by her parents of how things stood with Tait. Our calls began again, this time each and every day.

When Lauren's parents filled her in, they didn't define the relationship fully as a courtship, since Tait did not have complete permission to win Lauren's heart. So, in Lauren's mind, she and Tait were not quite formally courting, even though Tait described their relationship as being in the early courtship stage. Lauren puzzled over the seeming discrepancies between the information she was getting from her parents and the information coming from Tait, and finally came to the conclusion that both were on the the same page, but were giving the relationship different titles. This did affect how Lauren viewed the relationship in some ways, and she was not quite as open and relaxed with Tait as she would have been if her parents labeled it as a formal courtship.

Tait was excited to start on the next phase of our relationship. He realized how pivotal was his role in pursuing whether marriage was or was not in God's plan for him and Lauren. He dedicated himself to show leadership in their studies, during a time of rapid growth and soul searching.

Tait wanted to go through many practical issues, and make sure that he and Lauren were equally yoked. Viewing his faith in Christ as central to his way of thinking and living, he wanted to make sure that he and Lauren were compatible in this regard. He wanted to get to know Lauren's views on a wide variety of topics and express his own.

We believe that theology is not an abstract field relegated to seminary students, but is the grounds for life and living. We simply believe that an understanding of God and His word is foundational for all of life. It affects the way we live, do business, raise children, and act when no one is looking. Therefore, Tait saw how crucial it was that in heading towards marriage, he and the girl he was interested in would be on the same page in many, many important areas.

There was one subject that we discussed quite frequently during this time period; this was how important it is to build the spiritual side of a relationship first, then the intellectual, then emotional, and then finally - in marriage - the physical. We saw the pitfalls that so many young couples fall into by overemphasizing the physical towards the beginning. Tait did not want a shallow relationship built on physical desires, but a deep and close friendship that would blossom into the most intimate sort of relationship.

The first book we studied together was To Train up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl. It turned out to be a phenomenal book to work through together! We would read through each chapter individually and then, during our daily calls, talk through the notes we had taken. It was very helpful to study something so practical together at this time. Not only did it provide a wonderful structure for our calls, but it also covered a topic that was essential to address prior to a potential union. Tait would have felt very awkward without such a structure towards the beginning of the communications! We believe that it was so important that we studied together from our earliest days of our correspondence!

Next, we went over a book entitled Home-Making, by J.R. Miller. Home-Making is a wonderful book that details the roles of each member of the family. It paints a beautiful picture of the centrality of the family, and provides a clear vision of how wonderful a family under Christ can be.

Tait came to visit again in March, and stayed for a week. During this visit, Lauren's parents sat down and asked Tait some very tough, very personal questions, which are extremely important in a courtship situation, and should ideally be asked before a relationship even starts.

On each of Tait's visits, it took a couple of days for Lauren to adjust to the in-person Tait after only experiencing the over-the-phone Tait for so long. And, it was always difficult for Tait to adjust to Lauren's difficulty in adjusting. We grew closer during this visit, though, and when it came time for Tait to leave, it was a little harder for Lauren to say goodbye than it had been at the close of the Christmas visit. Of course, for Tait, it was always hard to say goodbye, since he had already pretty much completely fallen for Lauren. At this point he knew that he wanted to pursue marriage. He was very "fond" of Lauren and could not imagine a future without her. He was not quite sure of her feelings however. So, he decided to persist and make her like him! He remembers thinking on a trip to a coffee shop with Lauren, "Life with this young lady would have to be the most wonderful thing!" She was everything that he admired in a young lady, plus a whole lot.

In April, during one of our calls, Tait discovered that Lauren did not label the relationship as a formal courtship. This understandably caused a slight problem, which was cleared up after some thinking on both sides and plenty of talking between the two sides. It basically came down to the fact that our definitions were the same (i.e. we were in the early stages of seeking God's will in heading towards marriage, with several conditions, without Tait having permission to win Lauren's heart), but the title given to the relationship differed. It may be somewhat of a stretch, but it could be said that Lauren didn't know we were courting until four months into our courtship!

Tait earned an interesting nickname during our courtship. The phone rang one day (which had become a fairly common occurance in the Fitzhenry household), and Leslie glanced at the caller ID. "Oh, it's that pesky Alaskan again," she said jokingly as she handed the phone to Lauren. The nickname stuck, and we have had great fun applying the adjective of "pesky" to any young man who is interested in a young lady, and the term "peskiness" to anything done by a young man to earn the love and esteem of a young lady.

May rolled around, and the newly dubbed Pesky Alaskan flew his whole family down to Charleston to visit the Fitzhenry's. Our families hit it off well, and so one of the conditions of our courtship was met. Lauren and Leslie had the wonderful opportunity of traveling up to Asheville with Tait's family to attend American Vision's Worldview Superconference - the same conference Tait and Lauren had met at the year before! What fun it was to get to know and spend time with his lovely sisters and parents!

During Tait's March visit and now the May visit, Lauren really had a hard time knowing how to interact with this young man who was bent on being pesky. Talking over the phone was easy enough, but somehow being around Tait confused her. In an effort to avoid the inappropriate guy-girl interaction of today's common dating scene, she went to the opposite extreme and tended to be both cold and distant at times. As one example, Lauren had always hesitated to walk over and sit down beside Tait. Her line of reasoning was, "If he wants to sit by me he will; and if he'd rather sit somewhere else sometimes, I don't want to be too forward and go sit down right beside him."

Tait had a difficult time knowing how to interpret this, and felt like he was constantly chasing Lauren around in order to spend time with her. His mother, after observing this constant game of cat-and-mouse for a few days, voiced her concerns to Tait, who finally sat down and talked with Lauren. During the talk, Tait expressed his opinion that at this point in our relationship, it was perfectly appropriate to show preference for each other, and pay a little extra attention to the other person. This was very freeing for Lauren (and Tait!), and helped her to relax significantly around her pesky person. The situation improved dramatically, and when it came time to part, our goodbye was nearly the most difficult thing in the world! Lauren had volunteered to be a "mother's helper" for a family headed up to Vision Forum's Jamestown 400 celebrations, and unfortunately needed to leave several days prior to the Zimmermans. The morning that Lauren left, she and Tait had a wonderful talk on the front porch. (Actually, much of the time was spent looking into each other's eyes.) Clearly, there were strong bonds tying these two hearts together!

During the trip, Tait had been communicating regularly with his parents, who thought only good things about the young lady their son was interested in. After being torn from Lauren by her previous travel plans, Tait sat down with Mr. and Mrs. Fitzhenry. They talked for awhile, and came to the conclusion that the next step would be engagement, conditional upon Lauren visiting Alaska. Lauren's parents had asked her prior to this if she believed Tait was the young man for her. She gave a definitive yes, and so Tait was given permission to ask Lauren for her hand at any time he chose. He decided to propose at the very first opportunity during Lauren's planned visit to Alaska several months away.

Lauren's mom filled her in on their meeting with Tait, and kept starting, "Tait has full permission to...." Then, she would always stop and there would be an awkward silence before she went on with something else. Finally, Lauren asked what in the world Tait had full permission to do. She was absolutely sure that Tait had permission to propose, and that she would have a ring on her finger returning from Alaska. Her mom's response confused her, though. "Why, full permission to court you of course!" Well, Lauren already knew that! Because of this, and various comments made by her mom and sisters, Lauren went from being fully convinced that she would get engaged in Alaska, to be absolutely sure that she wouldn't. This was a disappointment, since there was nothing that she wanted more!

The calls over the next few months were particularly sweet and special. We both realized that we had "outgrown" the courtship stage, and had to self-consciously keep ourselves from jumping ahead emotionally. Tait had committed not to tell Lauren that he loved her until he had a ring on her finger. At this stage, they had to settle for occasional e-mailed "I like you's" (which were rather meaningful of course!). Shannon delighted in helping things along by sending Tait regular "paintings" which embarrassed Lauren terribly.

Yes, this was one of the most blatant ones, created only a few months before we got engaged.

Tait was anxiously awaiting the day he could propose, and did some serious scouting around Alaska to find the perfect spot. The end of July, Lauren and her parents finally made it up to Alaska! (Her dad had been on his way up there 25 years before to be a salmon fisherman with a friend. But then he ended up meeting Lauren's mom!)

Oh, Alaska is beautiful! Lauren loved the scenery, and it was exciting to see where Tait had grown up and lived all of his pre-Lauren life. (Did we really live before we met each other?) The first full day of Lauren's visit, we walked together down to the end of the Zimmerman's driveway, and Tait asked Lauren if she thought she could ever make Alaska her home. Of course, Lauren responded positively! She loved the inlet just up the road from their house, with the mountains on the side and Anchorage directly across. The "scenic overlook" just up the road in the other direction, with the old boat washed up into the marsh was another gorgeous spot. It seemed that almost everywhere she looked there was indescribable beauty! Yes, Alaska was very far away from her family and hometown. But she had come to love this young man, and respected him more than anyone else for his vision and leadership qualities. She was confident that she could follow him anywhere!

"O Father, All Creating"
by John Ellerton, 1826-1893

O Father, all creating,
Whose wisdom, love, and power
First bound two lives together
In Eden's primal hour,
Today to these Thy children
Thine earliest gifts renew,--
A home by Thee made happy,
A love by Thee kept true.

O Savior, Guest most bounteous
Of old in Galilee,
Voucesafe today Thy presence
With these who call on Thee.
Their store of earthly gladness
Transform to heavenly wine
And teach them, in the testing,
To know the gift is Thine.

O Spirit of the Father,
Breathe on them from above,
So mighty in Thy pureness,
So tender in Thy love,
That, guarded by Thy presence,
From sin and strife kept free,
Their lives may own Thy guidance,
Their hearts be ruled by Thee.

Except Thou build it, Father,
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Savior, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain.
But naught can break the marriage
Of hearts in Thee made one,
And love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun. Amen.