Our Story
Rather than writing a hindsight story of how we met and fell in love, I've looked through our blogs and found the following two entries. We wrote them on the same day, discussing our feelings for each other. We'd been together for almost two months at this point, and how better to discuss how much we love each other than to look back at the point where it happened, and hear it firsthand?
Brian's Perspective
Selection from Brian's blog
This selection has been edited to remove other people's names for respect of their privacy.
Being Thankful
24 Nov 2006
I spent an Anti-Thanksgiving with Tashina and her family. Anti-Thanksgiving because she finds this holiday repugnant as it glosses over what Europeans did to Native Americans (she being part Native American). She views it as celebrating genocide. While I might disagree somewhat - much like everyone no matter their religious beliefs or even those without religious beliefs can find something to latch onto about the end of December, I think she can do the same and one day might - this doesn't mean I do not respect her views 100% and will happily abide by them, especially since it won't involve me giving up Thanksgiving football! :)
I actually gave up football this Thanksgiving, but I didn't miss it (the games all were uninteresting anyway and fucking Dallas won, dammit) as I got to spend the time with Tashina's family and I enjoyed the company. Like I, she comes with a lot of siblings, all of whom are different, and while many might view the family as "unorthodox" in some ways, well, that's what people say about mine. I loved watching them all interact and I loved being with people who can just be themselves when interlopers such as myself sit down to a holiday meal.
The spirit of Thanksgiving made me thankful of a lot of things. Mainly it made me thankful for those who helped me get over the past -
*****
And then there's Tashina. How is it possible that I could just meet someone and then feel I have known them all my life?
She came into my life at a time I didn't want anyone in my life, a time I was looking at moving away (still am if the right opportunity comes), but there was something about her. Almost immediately we clicked and it's only gotten better. She has reawakened things about me that I swore died when [ex gf] stuck her knife in me, things that I didn't even know I missed about myself.
She gets me, something that so many people have been unable to do. She makes me happy in so many ways. I love her and I never want to let her go. So I am thankful for finally meeting the one who takes my breath away, someone who makes me happy, someone who understands me and someone who makes me look forward to the future.
I have found someone who made the journey worth it and whom I will hopefully be journeying with from now on. I can't wait for it to really start.
I love her in every sense of the word.
Tashina's Perspective
Selection from Tashina's blog
excuse me while I wax poetic
24 Nov 2006
Brian. Wow. He came up for the brunch we had to celebrate my brother being around. I sat back and smiled and watched him interact with my family, watch cartoons with my son, and we all enjoyed ourselves.
How can I even describe what is happening to me? This man whom I've only been dating for maybe 5 or 6 weeks has swept into my life, and integrated perfectly inside of it. My son, who hates everything male and can spot a horndog who doesn't care about me from a mile away, thinks this guy is completely fantastic. Falling in love with him was almost completely out of my hands. There was nothing I could do about it.
I have a complicated life. That's why I don't let a lot of people in it. And rather than running from it, he makes it work. Rather than telling me "hey, call me when you get to columbus!" he's determined it's not worth it to wait. The distance has been hard, I think especially for me as occasionally I have to say 'no' more often than 'yes' and it makes me kind of, envious of the people who can say yes and be with him when I can't. But in some ways it's equaled. He comes here and stays with me just as often as I go up and stay with him. And Matthew is just fine with this, and often asks when Brian is "coming home."
All this, it's just events though. It just describes what HAPPENS because the way I feel is the most indescribable thing I've ever encountered. Have you ever met someone who just makes you feel...feel like you're completely filled to the top with everything you'll ever need? That's one of the facets I feel with him. When I'm next to him, talking to him, listening, hanging at a show, or lounging on the couch watching television while he types up his reviews. There's something inside me that's more RIGHT than it's ever been before. There's something in me that lets go. I think it's my total lack of fear.
This man is the only one who is never going to hurt me with intention. Ever. And he's the only one who meshes with me completely on every level I need him to. I can drop my guards, I don't need them anymore. I don't know where he came from or why he's here, or why he decided of all the people he could talk to it'd be me, but he threw something into my life that I didn't even know I needed until it was there, and now it's like it's been there all my life.
I feel like I've known him forever even though I'm always learning something new. I'm happy, and I'm incredibly lucky to have him around. I love you like crazy.
