Although I am unsure of the exact date, it was definitely a life altering moment – the day I answered back. It was the spring of 2004 (early May), and I was at work toiling away at my duties when up pops a Yahoo instant message on the screen in front of me. A stranger, Lady_Vibe13, wants to chat with me. At that point in my life, I wasn’t one who necessarily believed in predestination, fate, or anything of the sort. But at that precise moment as I sat there staring at the IM, contemplating whether to continue my self-isolation, I knew this for certain: If I start speaking to this young woman, I will never stop talking to her. That was the exact sentence that I heard in my mind. I still don’t have life, destiny, fate and all that stuff figured out (all though I am well on my way), but I know that sentence – that feeling – came from somewhere, something bigger than myself. Completely inexplicable. Well, needless to say I answered back and my life instantly changed for the better. Thank you universe. We began to correspond via email, selecting topics to converse and wax poetically about, all the while growing closer. Here is the first email exchange between us:

Ty Gee wrote:
Subject: Good Day

Well, since we can't catch each other online, I
thought I'd drop you a line electronic mail style...:)

I really enjoyed reading your Black Planet page,
especially the part at the end about the use of
personal labels in the black lesbian community. These
days I try not to label myself; However I will admit
there was a time when I thought that labeling oneself
was the standard that must be adhered to by all, and
anything falling outside of that norm was too unusual
or "deviant" for me. Well needless to say, I have done
a complete 180 in regards to that. I understand some
folks feel they need those labels to help construct a
comfort zone in which to neatly place themselves for
broader peer/societal acceptance. That's cool...But
not I, not any longer. But it took me a minute to get
there:) Anywho, I see your major is Sociology. That
was my minor. My major was Corporate Communications.
(I have grown to hate that "corporate" part) You and I
could probably have a good conversation about the
current state of affairs, and I look forward to that
one day. Well, chat with you later!

Ty

Reply on Monday, May 17 2004 3:46:16
Subject: Good Day to you too.

Ty,

Well. It was nice hearing from you. Your e-mail put a smile on my face. I have been looking forward to talking to you. So if e-mail is the option of choice then lets do it e-mail style.

I feel what you’re saying about the labels. I know that some women need them but I'm not one of them. I do respect those women who label themselves but on the other hand women should respect my choice to not label.

So your major was communications ( I removed the corporate part for you). From your major I can see that you have a lot to talk about. LOL. I can't wait to get to know more about you.

You seem like a very interesting woman. So let’s start a conversation. Hmmmm....thinking of a topic.....Okay. I got one.

What are your views on the new strand of reality shows based around cosmetic/plastic surgery?

I'll answer it since I asked.

I think they are crazy. To me they show how America's concept of beauty is off. Everyone is trying to fit into this mold of what eurocentric beauty is. But the best part of beauty is each person’s individuality. To me the idea's surrounding these shows teach its audience that the only way for you to be beautiful is for you to fit this mold. Well. Damn. Everyone doesn't fit that mold. And some people will never fit the mold.

Those are my thoughts on that.

Our love affair had begun.

Tieranny