excited mother of the bride

Ever since you announced your engagement, both of your mothers have been desperate to help you.  And although you are grateful for the offers, you're not exactly sure what to tell them.  Here are 5 ways to include your mom and future mother-in-law in your wedding planning.

What does she do well?

Is your mother a crafting extraordinaire?  Does your new mother-in-law know how to sweet talk a vendor?  Put their skills and talents to work!  Ask your mom to make the wedding favors, or create a DIY guest book. Enlist your helpful mother-in-law to accompany you to your venue when you go to sign your contract or when you are interviewing wedding planners.

Let them control their own purview.

That rehearsal dinner your mother-in-law is obsessing over? Totally her domain. Even if you hate the color palette and think it would be better at another location, let her be. This is a party she is hosting for the two of you. Appreciate the gesture and sit back and enjoy the event!  Same goes for the brunch your mother is throwing the morning after the wedding. These little events let them have their own fun planning parties without interfering in your wedding's vision.

Take an interest in family history.

Chances are that your future spouse has no idea all of the family drama that your new mother-in-law is privy to. Have her take a look at the seating chart or guest list to make sure the right people are included and seated together. Ask her if any guests need special consideration, such as wheelchair access or dietary restrictions. She will love that you are taking an interest in her side of the family and that you consider her insight so valuable. And yes, flattery will get you everywhere.

Put the moms on photo and video duty.

Do you know what would take you forever? Sifting through 25 years of photos and home movies on VHS for your welcome table or slideshow.  Why not give this task to your moms?  They will have fun on the trip down memory lane. In fact, you could even plan a time for the moms and you to get together to show off what they have found and reminisce over favorite stories.  You might even find out cool factoids like you both loved the same toy or movie.

Don't be offended if they sit back.

Although the typical reaction from moms is to get over-involved, some moms might not.  Many future mother-in-laws want their relationship with you to be different with the one that they had with their husband's mother. They want you to like them.  So they might hang back to avoid interfering where they aren't wanted.  If you want their assistance, ask for it. If you are happy with their current level of involvement, make sure to relationship-build with them in other ways like going out to dinner or inviting his parents over.