My husband and I were married this last summer, and we live fairly close to both of our families. The problem is that they are three hours from us, but in opposite directions. How do we split up the holidays fairly? My mom was a little offended that we didn't go to her house for Thanksgiving. I don't want this really fun time of year ruined by family fights and too much driving. What is the best way to handle this? Alexa, Atlanta, GA

There are several options that might work well for you and your husband. It sounds to me like you both get along with each other's respective families, so that is always a good starting point. First, you could opt to switch off holidays, and alternate every year. This year, you went to his family's house for Thanksgiving, next year visit your mom instead. It is really important to share with everyone your plans so that they can prepare for their own holidays accordingly. Make sure they know that you wish you could spend the time with all of them, so that no one feels rejected.

Another option, if you have the room, is hosting the holiday at your house. Although this sounds daunting, everyone could help you with the cooking and decorating. If all the family enjoys each other's company, this is a great way to start building new memories.

The third choice is simply celebrating the holidays just the two of you. Explain to your families that you want some time to create new traditions, and that this is a special first Christmas that you want to enjoy together. Make plans to get together with both of the families as soon as possible to exchange gifts and celebrate the season.

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