My family is weird. I can admit this. I can think it through and roll it around in my brain and accept it as truth, fact, whatever. But Ill also be the first to admit that I like the weirdness. It feels nice and homey to me, like family dance parties on Christmas Eve and philosophical discussions on road trips. So what I should probably be telling you is that I am weird. But that's okay, because Shayne loves me because and in spite of my weirdnesses.
I'm telling you this because I have a weird family thing to share with you today: my family loves talking about personality traits. Have you ever heard of the Myers-Briggs test (if you haven't, Google it and then take it. So much fun.)? Or the Strengths-Finder test? Or half a dozen others? We love them. We love analyzing people's quirks and characteristics and figuring out how those quirks fit into a person's perspective on life and the way they gather information and make decisions.
Oddly enough, none of us had any interest in studying psychology.
My family also has bad manners sometimes. For example, on one occasion my father, brother, Shayne and myself were all at lunch together. And, unfortunately, my father, brother and myself proceeded to analyze Shayne's personality according to the Myers-Briggs test right there at the table (I know, awful. I apologized later when it occurred to me that maybe Shayne didn''t want us to analyze him. We picked on my brother too, I promise.). We then talked him into taking the test for himself to see the results and analysis, just for fun (we were right on, by the way).
We saw, through the test, some things we already knew about each other and some things we didn't know about each other, particularly in the way that we make decisions. Or at least, whether or not we knew them, we didn't really understand them. I got some interesting insights into who Shayne is and he hopefully got some interesting insights into who I am.
Family weirdness and personality test ambushes aside, it's good to know who you're marrying. And it's good to know why they are who they are and how they deal with conflict and stress and how they make decisions (whether they're a logical thinking-type like my husband or a touchy-feel emotional nutcase like myself). And it's even better to remember (because this one is hard sometimes, friends) that different is different. It isn't better, it isn't worse. I once had a friend who somehow managed to label me as an introvert (truth) and then make it sound like I was less than she was, or that I didn't like people or I didn't need friends. It was hurtful to the extreme. And itâ€™s so not how it works! I love and respect Shayne for his differences, and understanding them more clearly only makes that easier.
If only everything was so simple!