same sex wedding ceremony

Weddings are often filled with compromises or difficult decisions or delicate feelings.  And that's just with family.  Why would you want to complicate matters further by hiring wedding vendors that don't share your values, beliefs, or philosophies? Whether you are having a same-sex wedding or a religious service (or both), or perhaps you have a really firm, but very alternative idea for your wedding, your event needs to have the support of the vendors you hire.

This is not to say that a wedding planner specializing in chic, minimalist affairs can't throw one heck of a "boho meets carnival" shindig.  There are always exceptions to the rule. But if you are concerned about surrounding yourself with vendors that understand and agree with your vision, we are here with  five helpful tips in making sure you hire the right people for the job.

Stalk them on social media.

Facebook isn't just for sharing cute puppy videos.  Check out every potential vendor's social media accounts. What are they talking about?  What do they like?  What inspires them?  If you are planning a conservative, religious service and their page is full of sarcastic remarks about the existence of God, it may be time to move on.

Review their work.

Someone's portfolio and blog can tell you a lot about who a vendor's average client is and what type of events they normally work.  Even if these events aren't an exact match to your own, do you see something of your own event in the images?  If you want to throw a truly offbeat, non-traditional wedding, you may not see any photos out there that mirror what's in your head.  But perhaps that photographer has a knack for catching candid and honest moments, and that means something to you.  It's also important to note that especially if a vendor is new, they may not have a full portfolio because they haven't had many opportunities yet, not because they object to your type of wedding.

Have a conversation.

You can't really get a good gauge on how your vendor feels about working with you until you sit down and talk with them.  Are they enthusiastic and sincere?  Or do you feel like they aren't on board, but need to make their car payment?  When in doubt, don't be afraid to be direct (but avoid defensive) and simply ask them what they think about your wedding plans.

Do they keep trying to talk you out of what you want? 

You want your same-sex wedding in your church, and your wedding planner keeps talking about the local courthouse.  You want your wedding in a field of wildflowers, but your photographer keeps mentioning how great the light is at the art museum.  Suggestions can be helpful, but not when they always seem to be the polar opposite of what you want.  If during your initial conversation, these types of suggestions keep coming up, move on to someone else.

But remember that for many people, it's all business. 

That florist might disagree with your life and your choices, but she can make a mean vintage centerpiece.  Remember that, ultimately, wedding vendors are professionals that do this work because they love practicing their craft, not because they need to agree with every couple that crosses their path.  For example, if you know that they don't believe in God, but never voice anything remotely negative about your temple service, trust their work and judge them upon that rather than the differences you have.


Photo Credit: Bill McCormack Photography