bride and bright wedding bouquet

We’ve all seen them: the glossy photos of impossibly beautiful weddings, the ethereal details that stun you into sighs of envy or longing silence. Flawless couples surrounded by fairy tale perfection have become wedding inspiration norm, leaving brides-to-be yearning for magazine-worthy wedding celebrations. But those weddings can’t be reality and, in fact, they aren’t – not the casually flawed but still lovely reality we mere humans (brides-to-be and otherwise) have come to accept as truth and life. So why do we try so hard to make them so?

We feature these weddings ourselves, captured moments of romance incarnate appearing on blog pages and in magazines with no trace of work or effort, as if these weddings materialized by magic. We utter collective ‘oohs and ahhs’ when we first catch sight of the photos, not pausing to think about the exorbitant budgets and hours upon hours of planning and building that go in to making them the creative masterpieces they are. But then, when we sit down to think about the hard work of actually planning a wedding, reality sets in hard – and with it comes a very serious question.

In the middle of a seemingly endless supply of online inspiration and budget-defying wedding publications, is there room for real brides and real wedding dreams?

We believe that there is. The ocean of ideas and wedding inspiration we all know and love is vast, and it seems to be growing larger by the moment. So many of these ideas and details are beyond the reach of all but the most affluent brides (if, realistically, even them), leaving the rest of us grasping at straws even as we add more and more images to our idea boards and wish lists. Meanwhile, the resources dedicated to helping us make our weddings our own seem miniscule in comparison - but that does not mean that it can’t be done.

Here’s the secret: your wedding doesn’t have to be perfect to be perfect. Confused? Don’t be. We’ve all been there, at two in the morning, pinning for pinning’s sake because the flood of pretty things never stops. Sure, it’s beautiful. But isn’t there something even more lovely about diving into the things that make you and your fiancé tick and sharing them with your best friends, your grandparents, each other?

Our relationships are imperfectly wonderful, and yet we have a tendency to cling to the idea of a “perfect” wedding celebration. You may be surprised to discover that the exquisite honesty of allowing your wedding to be a joyful reflection of imperfection can very well take your breath away. Your wedding will be perfect when you truly remember what it’s about and why you’re all there together whether or not the details are straight out of a magazine.

The truth is that magazines are pretty and trends are fun, but they don’t tell the whole story. They omit the chapter where you leaned against a fence in your wedding dress and ended up with black marks down the train right before the ceremony, only to have your mother’s best friend come to the rescue with a miracle cleaner she just happened to have stashed in her car. They don’t tell the part where your grandmother showed off the swing dancing moves you didn’t know she had, or when you snuck away from the reception with your husband to just soak up the fact that you were actually, finally, married.

Those aren’t the details captured in the photographs we swoon over, but those are the parts of the story we remember when the details of the centerpieces and the altar décor fade away. That’s why things like DIY mean so much to us – because we want to help you hold on to the time you spend with friends or future in-laws, cutting and pasting and tying and building a celebration together. These things surpass trends and pretty pictures because they are you, both of you, in that moment and at that time. They are the heart of your story, along with the promises you make to each other and the people who stand beside you when you make them.

Although we’ll always savor the pleasure of seeing something beautiful, we can’t say that we believe in the perfect place setting, flower arrangement or invitation suite. As a wedding company we are supposed to provide the tools and inspiration to help you plan the perfect wedding, but here’s the thing: we don’t believe in perfect weddings. But we do believe in the people who have them.

 

Photo by Michael Radford Photography via mywedding The Magazine