One of the most common questions we receive from brides is what to do about a friendship that has fallen apart with someone in the wedding party. It's one of the many reasons we advise waiting until closer to the wedding during a long engagement to select your bridesmaids.  There is so much change in your twenties with your careers, relationships, even geography.  It's natural that people grow apart, and that it's painful when they do.  During your engagement, emotions can seem heightened (as when you experience any type of change) so the stress over that relationship ending is even sharper.

First, let's start off with this situation from an etiquette perspective.  It's considered rude to "un-invite" a member of the wedding party, just as it is for a member of the wedding party to withdraw.  Not only is it a faux pas, it's also a relationship-ender.  Few friendships can recover from this sort of thing.  So, before you are ready to drop the guillotine, take time to assess  and weigh the gravity of the situation.  A difference of opinion or the inability for a bridesmaid to attend a bridal shower is probably an insufficient reason to take such a drastic step.  Work around the problem and hope that your relationship will repair itself in the process.

However, sometimes the issue is just too severe.  If the very presence of your friend sets your teeth on edge, if you are both unable to even enjoy each other's company at all, then it might be time to commit an etiquette "sin" for the sake of all involved.

Whether you decide to move forward or cut ties, give yourself a break. The loss of a friendship, as much as we might hate to admit it, often feels akin to a break-up.  Take a couple days to grieve the end of a relationship that meant so much to you, and then move on.  You have a lot of positive to focus on right now!

Photography   |    J. Woodbery Photography