Have you ever noticed your friend’s Instagram feed is full of fancy tropical vacation photos? You’ve liked the photos and maybe commented on how amazing the trip looks. Then months later, to your surprise, your friend announces they actually got married!  We’ve definitely noticed a trend where more couples are planning secret weddings like this.   

What’s the difference between secret weddings and elopements? Back in the day, there probably would not have been much of a difference. But according to Merriam-Webster, the meaning of elopement has changed over the years to refer to a “small destination wedding,” “wedding that is not financially insane” or “wedding that allows us to not invite all the people we would rather not invite.” Most people think of it as going to the local city hall or to a chapel in Las Vegas to exchange quick “I Do’s” — and there may or may not be friends and family (or Elvis impersonators) present.

MyWedding spoke to famed sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, better known as simply “Dr. Ruth,” about the trend. 

“I would think that it’s not fair to the family who has raised that son or daughter,” says Dr. Ruth. “I’m very old fashioned, and I would like people to involve their families. It’s an important milestone.”

More often than not though, there’s usually a reason why they chose to keep it hush and an intimate party-of-two celebration. Perhaps the family disapproves of the union, or the couple has a complex relationship with their parents and relatives. Maybe they don’t want to deal with the stress of planning an entire wedding. Or they simply cannot afford to have a traditional wedding and may want to spend their money elsewhere.  

In those cases, Dr. Ruth agrees that it’s the couple’s choice on what’s right for them. “If a couple these days gets married secretly for a good reason without involving the family, I’m all for it,” she said.

Besides, in the age of social media, some couples just prefer to keep their relationship status a more personal affair. “That would be a good reason for keeping a relationship more private,” she said. “I believe there are some things that have to remain private.”

Considering all the possible motivations, there are lots of ways to put together a secret wedding with little stress and at an affordable price. Consider travel sites like Hotwire and more to book hotels last minute at the best price.

“This is a great idea of surprising your partner by getting a more reasonable hotel room so you have more money for an extra fancy dinner,” said Dr. Ruth. But of course, she added, don’t forget the post-nuptial nookie. “The surprise will be a quick getaway and a quickie.”

Now you just have to pick a destination. Keep the intimate vibe going and opt for a boutique, adults-only hotel. Check out the top places to jet off to for your own secret wedding and where you should stay when you get there.