Legendary ‘Sexpert’ Dr. Ruth on Secret Weddings as Quickie Getaways

Legendary ‘Sexpert’ Dr. Ruth on Secret Weddings as Quickie Getaways
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Have you ever noticed your friend’s Instagram feed is full of fancy tropical vacation photos? You’ve liked the photos and maybe commented on how amazing the trip looks. Then months later, to your surprise, your friend announces they actually got married!  We’ve definitely noticed a trend where more couples are planning secret weddings like this.   


What’s the difference between secret weddings and elopements? Back in the day, there probably would not have been much of a difference. But according to Merriam-Webster, the meaning of elopement has changed over the years to refer to a “small destination wedding,” “wedding that is not financially insane” or “wedding that allows us to not invite all the people we would rather not invite.” Most people think of it as going to the local city hall or to a chapel in Las Vegas to exchange quick “I Do’s” — and there may or may not be friends and family (or Elvis impersonators) present.


MyWedding spoke to famed sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, better known as simply “Dr. Ruth,” about the trend. 


“I would think that it’s not fair to the family who has raised that son or daughter,” says Dr. Ruth. “I’m very old fashioned, and I would like people to involve their families. It’s an important milestone.”


More often than not though, there’s usually a reason why they chose to keep it hush and an intimate party-of-two celebration. Perhaps the family disapproves of the union, or the couple has a complex relationship with their parents and relatives. Maybe they don’t want to deal with the stress of planning an entire wedding. Or they simply cannot afford to have a traditional wedding and may want to spend their money elsewhere.  


In those cases, Dr. Ruth agrees that it’s the couple’s choice on what’s right for them. “If a couple these days gets married secretly for a good reason without involving the family, I’m all for it,” she said.


Besides, in the age of social media, some couples just prefer to keep their relationship status a more personal affair. “That would be a good reason for keeping a relationship more private,” she said. “I believe there are some things that have to remain private.”


Considering all the possible motivations, there are lots of ways to put together a secret wedding with little stress and at an affordable price. Consider travel sites like Hotwire and more to book hotels last minute at the best price.


“This is a great idea of surprising your partner by getting a more reasonable hotel room so you have more money for an extra fancy dinner,” said Dr. Ruth. But of course, she added, don’t forget the post-nuptial nookie. “The surprise will be a quick getaway and a quickie.”


Now you just have to pick a destination. Keep the intimate vibe going and opt for a boutique, adults-only hotel. Check out the top places to jet off to for your own secret wedding and where you should stay when you get there.



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Miami, Florida

The Standard


When you’re looking for a romantic getaway, dealing with tourist families is never at the top of the list. That’s why adults-only hotels are so genius. You have to be 18+ to stay at the Standard in Miami. With breathtaking ocean views and an infinity pool perfect for the ‘gram, the Standard is the premier destination for beach lovers. After you exchange your vows, relax with professional massages in your hotel room or walk over to Lummus Park Beach to lay in the sun. If shopping is more your thing, head over to the Collins Avenue shopping area. We’re confident your stay will be anything but standard here.

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Palm Springs, California

L’Horizon Resort & Spa


With a 4.6 star rating on Expedia, L’Horizon Resort & Spa is an adults-only hotel in a quiet location for maximum relaxation away from the hustle and bustle. Each room has a furnished patio and Italian bed sheets. Some rooms have a private pool. Some have a fireplace. Of course, there’s also a full service spa on the grounds as well as an outdoor pool and hot tub. If you prefer dining in during your honeymoon, there's 24-hour room service available. Reviewers call it “paradise on Earth.” Sounds pretty good to us.

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Islamorada, Florida

Casa Morada


This boutique hotel in Florida and is perfect for couples who are seeking a more private, intimate experience. Islamorada is a village in the Florida Keys, about 90 minutes south of Miami. The hotel offers free bikes so you can pedal around on your own adventure. Dare to venture into the public and meet some dolphins at the Theater of the Sea. Or if you’re just into being lazy in the sun, there’s an outdoor pool for flirting and refreshing. No one will judge you!

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Maui, Hawaii

Hotel Wailea


It’s quite fun to say you went and got secretly “Maui’d,” so why not travel to this tropical paradise? Hotel Wailea is a 17+ hotel where each room opens to a private, furnished lanai, an open-sided porch with a roof. There’s a separate living room area with seating. There are free area and beach shuttles, as well as an outdoor pool and spa services. Close by, you'll find every kind of activity available, from parasailing to snorkeling. It’s the ultimate 'secret wedding' splurge that you’ll remember forever.

5 of 5 Image Credits: TripAdvisor

Big Sur, California

Post Ranch Inn


If you’ve been saving those pennies and really want to live it up post-nuptials, Post Ranch Inn is the place to be. One of the most luxurious options, Post Ranch Inn is located in Big Sur, CA. Plan in advance as much as you can to get the lowest rates, but it’s still a reasonable splurge if you’re being more spontaneous. That’s part of the thrill, right? Impulsiveness can get the blood pumping and make for a more hyper-charged, romantic experience.