How To Handle Conflict Between Bridesmaids
Here are some tips to help avoid and alleviate tension between attendants.
There’s nothing like choosing a bridesmaid’s dress to bring about a catfight between otherwise friendly gals. There are a number of other issues of monumental importance to contend with during the wedding planning process, all of which will eventually lead to the same outcome: Conflict between bridesmaids, which will require your inner bridezilla to emerge in order to restore order. Nobody wants that, and in fact it is the job of the bridesmaids to do what they can to help the wedding preparations go as smoothly as possible for the bride so that she is able to enjoy the journey up to and through her big day. In other words, bridesmaids, simmer down and get along…or at least pretend to!
Plan Ahead When Choosing Your Bridesmaids
The bride should definitely take temperament and history into account when choosing her wedding party. If two of your leading ladies are alpha females who won’t back down, or have had trouble getting along in the past, chances are there might be some discord over duties if they’re both involved. If you’re faced with this dilemma, the safest rule of thumb is that blood is thicker than water; meaning that if your sister doesn’t get along with your college roommate, your sister would take priority for a spot in your lineup. However, there are often extenuating circumstances and friends who act more like family than your closest relatives do, so you should definitely take your individual situation into account and remember: IT’S YOUR DAY, so ultimately you must make the choice that you feel most comfortable with, and nobody should second guess your decision. If you feel badly about leaving somebody out of your wedding party, consider asking them to perform another important duty such as cutting the cake, attending to the guest book, or convincing dear old Dad to show off his funky chicken skills on the dance floor (not as traditional, but definitely as memorable as the cake cutting!).
Maid of Honor is allowed to Pull Rank
If there is a dispute between bridesmaids and it includes the Maid of Honor, she is allowed the final say in any wedding or party planning decisions. That’s right, if Betty Lou Bridesmaid argues that the Bachelorette Party stripper should have hair on his chest and sport a porno moustache, while Molly McMaid of Honor believes that any respectable stripper should be waxed and oiled, then the bride should definitely enjoy some hair-free, glistening adult entertainment during her soiree. End of discussion.The other side of this decree is that with the rank comes responsibility. The Maid of Honor is ultimately in charge of the planning and execution of all things bridesmaid, and is also the bride’s last line of defense against planning-induced insanity. Therefore, her duties need to be taken seriously and performed with care.
The Squeaky Wheel Gets Her Own Road
If you know in advance that one attendant does not play well with others, and you feel as if she must be included in your wedding party (generally this should only be the case if she’s close family or has saved your life in combat), it might save everyone a lot of headaches if she is given individual responsibilities that do not require her to work with the group. For example, she might be asked to be in charge of Bridal Shower or Bachelorette Party invitations after important details such as place, time, theme and quantity of stripper hair have already been decided upon.
Keep it in perspective
At the end of the day, it is important to remember that the primary job of all of the bridesmaids is above all to make the journey up to and through the big day smooth, memorable and enjoyable for the bride. Her attendants should demonstrate their love for her by treating one another with fairness and respect, and trying to resolve differences without getting her involved. The less she knows about conflict between bridesmaids the better, so if there’s going to be a catfight try to keep the hissing down. Rawr!