The Slightly Smartypants Guide to Being the Last Single Friend
When it comes to being the last single friend, you have seen your fair share of showers, parties, and weddings. So, when it comes to this last one, it certainly isn’t your first rodeo. Here are a few things that are truisms for every single gal surrounded by married friends.
Gift giving is expensive.
Sure, there is that legendary episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie registers for a pair of expensive shoes after her married friend (the recipient of countless “married with children” gifts) ruined them. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a tempting fantasy. After all, when you add up all of the shower and wedding presents (not to mention the bridesmaid costs) we have given all of our married friends, it feels like Pottery Barn might as well take a direct deposit from our paycheck. So, since this is the last wedding we might be understandably relieved and even planning a small vacay with our newly available funds. And then we get the first baby announcement…
Our calendar isn’t as open as one might think.
Little known fact about being the last single friend: our schedules are actually pretty packed. Between wedding planning assistance and dinner parties and our job (yup, we’re the sole breadwinners in our household), we aren’t the carefree birds our pals think we are. Our married friends believe that our lives are filled with devil-may-care evenings in a life without responsibilities and obligations.
Your friends are determined to set you up,
Here’s the thing: you kind of enjoy single life. Granted, it’s a bummer on Valentine’s Day, but it’s not the cryfest that the Hallmark Channel would have us believe. It’s nice sometimes to be on your own, able to binge watch Netflix without judgment or interference. Plus, despite the fact you are more confident than ever (isn’t 30 awesome?), you’re pretty sure that you are getting worse at flirting.
Taylor Swift may just be a genius.
You weren’t won over by all the near fangirl worship of Miss Swift. She was just too perfect, y’know? Between her string of failed romances turned pop chart gold, her super long legs, and fantastic style it was a little much to take. But now, “Shake it Off” has made you realize she may be the wisest person on the planet and she is just what you need to listen to after a hard day. Your friends are less than thrilled that she is on constant repeat in your car, but they just don’t get it yet.
We’re going to miss the cake, but not Aunt Bea’s condescension.
We’ve loved the weddings. And the cake. But one thing we are happy to be done with is the requisite reassurances from older relatives. Usually they involve some form of “Don’t worry, dear. I’m sure you’ll be next,” or how you will find your man “the second you stop looking.” Yeah, that.
We’ve had to become extroverts, and we’re not all good at that.
When your friends get married, it means having to find some new single friends. Otherwise, you are doomed to never have plans after 8 again. We’re not blaming you, our newlywed friends, we totally get it (and you know it’s true). But this means having to befriend a possibly younger crowd. And the more times you have to do this, the younger that crowd gets. And it starts to be more awkward when you attempt to be hip and cool.
But mostly, we love our single life and wouldn’t change a thing.