Wedding Planning

How to Choose Your Groomsmen

How to Choose Your Groomsmen


Knowing how to choose your groomsmen sounds pretty straightforward, right? And it should be. However, planning a wedding is no small endeavor and you’ll probably feel pressure from many sides on which of your friends should and should not be granted the privilege of becoming groomsmen.

But let’s back up for a moment.

Think of a heist movie. Any will do, because there’s always that scene when somebody somewhere says those three awesome words that resonates with every guy: Assemble your team. If you’re recently engaged, that’s exactly what you get to do with your wedding. You’re now tasked with choosing a handful of guys that have always had your back and will now be there for you on your big day. There’s no denying the fact that your groomsmen will be a big part of your wedding. So, it’s important to know how to choose the right groomsmen.

Obviously, you’re going to pick your best friends. The ones that you trust and that you always have a great time with. Enough said, right?

But the challenge that often arises is when the groom is asked to pick a specific number of groomsmen — and that number happens to be above and beyond his inner circle of best friends. This usually happens when the bridesmaids are many and there’s pressure to match the number of groomsmen with the bridesmaids. Here’s the thing: There’s no firm rule that says you need to match the numbers. It’s perfectly OK for you to have four groomsmen when your bride has six bridesmaids. Or 10! I think it’s completely natural for you and your bride to have an unequal number of best friends. So, throw the visual symmetry aside and just make sure that your band of pirates look sharp in whatever they’re wearing.

If you’re having a traditional wedding and pairs of the wedding party are walking down the aisle at its conclusion, no worries, bridesmaids can do double duty and make a second lap. But when you invite more guys into the ranks of your groomsmen outfit than you really need or want, you can get yourself into trouble.

Remember, these are the guys that will help to make the day special for you and your bride. Choose unwisely, and you may be stuck with groomsmen who don’t respect the photos you’re taking, maybe don’t take their job as a groomsman seriously, or worse.

Now, there’s one exception — if your bride has a brother (or two), be sure to include him. You may not be as close to him as you are to your other groomsmen, but he’s about to become family. Now is the time to start to get to know him better!

To wrap up, go with your gut. Knowing how to choose your groomsmen need not be overly complicated. Pick your closest friends and rest assured that they will support you every step of the way and help to make your wedding day special.

Looking for more groom wedding planning content? Here’s a great place to get started.