Wedding Planning

What to Do With an Uninterested Groom

Does your groom care more about what’s on television than the details of your wedding day? Never fear, here’s how to pique his interest.

You are in wedding planning heaven.  From choosing your dress to visiting bakeries, this is pretty much all the fun you thought it would be (okay, a little more stressful than you thought, but still…). Unfortunately, your groom couldn’t be less interested in the festivities.  You’ve tried to get him involved, but he seems perfectly content to let this whole event rest on your shoulders. You’d prefer he pitch in, or at least get a little more excited about planning decisions. Here is some helpful advice for dealing with a less than helpful fella.

Play to his interests.

Very few men are just going to jump at the chance to visit the florist with you to select centerpieces, or have an actual opinion about the bridesmaid gifts.  They see all the tulle and buttercream and head for the hills! When you want to get your guy to help, try to find something he’s already interested in.  For the groom that loves music, put him in charge of the playlist recommendations for the DJ.  Summer wedding?  Have him arrange and organize the accompanying lawn games and bonfires.

Make sure you’ve expressed you would like to do this together.

Maybe you think your thinly-veiled hints and deep sighs have adequately communicated your displeasure with his level of involvement.  But, to be on the safe side, you might want to try being more direct. Express that you actually want him to dig in with you on this project.  It could be that he has simply assumed you, as the bride, have this totally under control, and didn’t need his input.

Are you open to his ideas, or do you take everything over?

Sometimes the groom’s ideas just aren’t winners. Having to nix the Jager fountain and death metal band? Yeah, totally necessary. However, make sure that you are open to at least some of his ideas. Otherwise, he will reasonably assume that you want to do this planning thing completely solo.  If your tastes and vision don’t align, look for places to compromise. For example, maybe you get the barn venue and he gets the sports car rental for the exit.  By incorporating his ideas, you will reassure him that you want his assistance!

Photography   |   Heather Brulez